breathing
through one lung
just fingernails
to hold on
& breaths
& hope
[bitemytongue]
just a
sliver
left,...
choking on
the hollow sound
of
un
done

No _ Body
<empties> me
Quite. Like. You.
it _ only _  takes
threelittleletters
}suCH a simple word{
& i caN'T breath
or see
Each. Time.
you ^men^tion^

[she]

¿₩hat kind of
answer is
that¿
save it {for}
laundry
& washing your
car.
i carry comets
in-my-pockets
& #lightening
on my LiPs.
go> back> to> your
sleepy ex _ is _ tence
i'llbeoverhere
being. IN. it.

this emp _ ti _ ness
[since you left]
can't
connect-the dots;
whatever.
comes. next
& i can't care
or even try
cuz **** if
i know
[₩hat even
matters]
what's even
>>>>>right
stuck-so-still
inyoursmile
| stalled | in your voice//
¡it wasn't my choice¡
& so
i just
       ~   float

so,...your: BusinesS CarD
rests.  in.   my.   car.
i  | stared | at it, today,...
eyes     tr _ a _ cin _g   
the   l  e  t  t  e  r  s  
ofyourname.
the weight
(of it in my hand).
so >much >heavier>
,... now.
° ° ° time lost
in-these-moments;
€yes full of tears.
& with a heavy sigh,...
[i gently tucK it]
back /in /its / _  place.

i drink bourbon
for. the. burn.
it's-good-to-feel
<something>
been ^hang^ing^ on^^
forsolong
missed the fact
i ₩as
the only one

¿did i make it all up¿
what\ i \thought
this. was.
you _ just _ dropped _ off
whileiwassosure
of. this. love.

& so
now~i~know
just _ how _ much
imeantto
you;
what all /of /those
late nights
& hours-on-the
phone
{were};
how you fell
aSLeeP in my
^arms^
& how you
held. my. hand.
[it's nothing]
It. Never.
Was.

stupId
(for you)
i know so  _ much _ better.
Been 》 There》and 《Back 《
(time&again)
~ smile\eyes\ lips.
can't. bear. to. go.
(anywhere).
& to <rest> in you
i'd give UP
all-of-the-things
(i thought i knew).
to simply be
| locked | in your
        .stare.

not _ quite _ a _ shift
most\like\a
}}press{{
grasSsping at
'..",..slivers'..."
#whateverisleft
the | peace | that i found
#whateveritmeant
& all. Of. those. words. [you said]
live-on-to-loiter
in the <nagging>
[    silence    ]

i
have. never.
known;
letters//
nouns
the tri,....
                 ck,...
                           le of
words
To Simply Say
whatever-it-is-i-mean
i mean~
You. Are. the pin ch
in my chest
the> pull >>of >each breathe
EvERy
#sadlovesong
& when you
~}{hold my hand}{~
I
Am.

those things {i thought}
i need;
poetry&whiskey
& quiet time
[alone]
you ~ ARe
noneofthese
& yet
i feel
@home

there are
so ¡many¡ times
when i \catch myself/
in °°wonder °•○●
¿how is it that
you are so
]] lodged ]in my ]]thoughts]]
ever ~sp~in~ning~ there
not {even really}
in.    my head,...
it's kind of
in. my. bones.
^cell<>ular^
from the | moment |
we met
on >the >edge
the precipice,.....of some _ thing;
}tangled{ in you.
& it's not as if i'm
//complaining.
only that i
don't - know - how
tonotmissyou

& there i go
it's a slippery
sl  o _ PE
starts
in ^my^ chest^
pulled
< ti   ght>
just
a }pinch{
at. first.
shades
" i n "ch i "ng
d
   O
       Wn
behind. each. of.
my. EyEs.
the - moment - i - know
i've gone
#toofar;
while~ you~
nevereven

    left.

this. place. is.
haunt. ed.
{buildings aren't just
buildings}
& feelings aren't
|  forgotten  |
i can {still} see~your~
apartment
<<< more-than-a
memory <<<
¡there¡ we made out
in /my \car
& we walked
these/same/blocks
you
^On^My^Arm^
set in my breath
you;
so 'stu'ck in 'my 'head
i can stay a₩ay
yet
there. you. are.
¿₩hen ₩ill it
| end |?

it. doesn't. [really ever] pay.
to - be - so - sentimental;
the ~curve ~of ~your
mouth
howyousayeachvowel
₩ell,...
i sup _ pose only i
might//know//
{it is what it is}
i can Want What i Want
& you can say
<What you Will>
>>close<< your eyes
rest _  your _ lips
^^ in ^my ^kiss^^
tomorrows =
@faded
juststaywithme
,...*now

i feel
myself;
inthequiet
& i can.
breathe.
          again.

what.
]] will it ]] ever
take;
scrape /you /from /my /bones
squeeze } you { from my soul
if. only. to.
forget.
hazel
& those hands
for
your ~ laugh ~ to be
less than a  | memory |
& (mercifully)
left -out -of -my
dreams
time cr _ aw _ ls a _ lon __ g
while 《whiskey《 brings 《you
back
those sad songs [i favor]
^have me^
#sittingonthefloor
while words & rhymes
simply shred;
₩hat€ver
is
@left

_ e _ asier _
saidthandone
>>trYing to
s
   L
      o    wwww
down/this/love
when ' '' '' min' '' '"utes
trip-me-up
& words
aren't
eno{ugh}
#justsuckitup;
it's-not-as-if
there
is.­ A. choice.

,...now
whatcouldyoupossiblywant¿
you're rea  _  ch  _  ing  _ ou _ t
when-we-both-know
that door's ~~******* | shut |
all. those. times.
you { ****** {me {in
just to spit> me >out >
oH; you're_wind//ing/ it/ up
again
& i'll dive 》right 》in
cuz\ ****\ if \i
can
@lovemyself
enough
to  ]] resist ]]

i'm ch _ o _ ck  _ ing
^On ^It
the glass
lodged. in. my. chest.
you / need / some
' '' '''  time
you're not | ready |
For.
This.
yetmydarlingdearestlove
>ask >ing
this to
#stop
is like [[holding onto]] eels;
& trying to find brakes
is like trying ~to ~chew  ~steel;
& i know you mean
the best sweetheart
& i-know-that-time
₩ill  tell
but the be(   space   )tween
the }now{  & then
    is
simp    ly
£iving
h€ll

breathe. you. in.
Sun~day~morn~     ings
tuckedincottonsheets
& i'm stuck in Tuesdays
it's> close
it's> progress >>
get\ting\clos\er
brown-sugar-in-my-coffee
morning ^walks^
#remindme
just _  how _ far
away;
¿how can you sleep¿
k{now}ing
our melt
it leaves°me °hanging°
》you go    》 on
over. there.
[ill be here]
ifeveryoushould
₩ant
me

how ¥ou would
take/my/arm/
wheneverwewalked
i went along; ten-feet-tall
@thatundergroundbar
} our place on the couch {
& so. many. whispers.
& kisses.
& thoughts.
oh/who would-have-thought¿
it would >come >to >this.
all that we were[n't]
is _ all _ that _  i  _ want.
can't ^find ^the ^will
to. Just. move,..》   on.

you. don't. get. to.
choose {really}
it's-just -some-melt;
you don't
ex _  pect
the ~ way ~ her ~lips
>move
anytime; she says your
name°
[just a hint of a lisp]
\ she leaves you \
@stalled:..........
& there   ^you    ^are
     sm i *ling

i don't. know. the.
word; there's
the s
             in
                   K
& the }}} p   e  e l
all i taste is in
(vain)
she's said
she so  [rare] ly
| standsstill |
& i know
those things i
need.
there is no 》get》ting 》
#there w/her
besttojust
for.      get.

what a thing to;
think.
as _ if_ i _ ever
hadtheguts
[for this]
pour it out》 let her in
swallowed whole &
left alone.
suck it uP
now//now
i know//how
it's my.   own.    ******.
fault.

dr _ unk a//gain
ihavenoshame
,...sip you in,...
my love
my friend
Draw. A. Line.
~use ~a ~pen
& here we are
》》back agaIN
i know [the score]
^how  ^you ^^seep.in
you miss me now
right-up-until
you're 《《back with her
ssssslide right in
& i'll stand| by |
#encouraging

so,...
tellmedarling
once & for all
¿what does this
mean _ to _ you
if. an//y//thing {at all}
because you
came-to-me
& we were so
raw & 》》yet,
^here
^we
.     #are,..
i feel as f. a. r.    
[from you]
as
| ever | ...

i  _ don't _ know
whatthisis
i'm calling it,
don't ^know ^if ^it's ^all ^too ^much
or if you _ don't _ know
how. to. love.
enough/ is/
enough
how you come
& go
while i just
stay
,...
 #put

it was a ○ hit & a
'    miss
isuppose/whoknows¿
here.we.are.
712 _ days _ >>>> later
{,...and count^^ing^^}
Guinness ~~has ~me
#remember
whiskey-helps-me
= | forget |
yet
nothing
¡¡ F I L L s
meuplike
•°○ you

& how you
shrug-me-off
words and thoughts
takeanothershot
,...i think,... i know
you see~m
inclined;
but
\don't

on & off
where. does. it. stop.
oh,..how
youknowhowtokissme
,...so _.      slow
&
^^^^^^ in>>>tense
& yet
you
[ insist ]
i'm. not.
what you
#want
even _ as
you
| **** | in your breathe
& gasp your
)>>>release
My tongue; your
Pul - SE;
' ' nails
in my
~ ~ skin.
back/again.
Let{ting} go
,...let me
{in}

ahhhhh
just the l e t t e r s
of. your. name.
{in my head}
i get so
》ahead of 《《 myself
no _ thing can be the
same
it's so uncool
& yet
i'm so sure
#stars
i see
[justlikeme]
are han     ing
               g
^up ^there^
hoping to get >>closer<<
to
__ you

you <<< remind me
of
this girl
i used to love; one fall
when i fe
                 ll
for ^her ^words
& her song
tr _ ip _ , _ ping a _ lon _ g
there was ever so
M _ u _ cH
to | say |
untiltheday
she .wouldn't. speak.
{at all}
&  i 》headed 》
home
tomywaves & mysand
with-a-question-mark
& the nerve to write
[153]
#poems
about°
     * her

Muse;
~ if you only knew ~
how. long. it's.        been
since i
even/had/the
heart
[to care]
beenin&  out
》shallow》in _ discretions
motions  w/ no | e | motion
meaning^^less
in-their-vanity
& here. you. are. _
reminding me
what this 'beat''ing' is even
For.
& for the first time
{in so long}
i want.
MorE

spin* ning*
in the wo _ n _ der
all\of\the\words
she. said.
& there; there is her °°laughter°
who can remember a thing
>after
that
¿

it's a ''jag''ged }
_  irony
how m _ u _  ch
i feel the
}~gouge
punch》》
~~ peel.
[        ]
of a love
you never
felt
in
 the.   << least

what can¿
be {un}done
when ^ i ^ can ^ trace
my loves
by the | books |
that. rest.
on _ my _ table
waves & seeds
Pablo & Angelo
russian classics
Ne₩ ¥ork
& pursuitsofhappiness
some [kind] of organized mess
@paper pages
fra. gile in their manner
hold/my/ghosts
<all those> lost whispers
have. moved. along.
[for me] words
al>ways> meant
so much =
#more

shift & press
lungs/chest
all-your-words
whattheymeant
hum & scream
you/me
in-my-head
inmydreams
far & between
focus/see
what-is-left
holdmybreath
push & pins
loss/sin
when-standing-still
lossofwill

i just. want. you.
<as ever>
allthevowels
& consonants
whatever-it-meant
it was just _ you
& me &
allofthewords
sounds of fall _ ing
into ~ some ~ thing ~ that
| mattered |
& nobody really
fills  me ^ up ^
like ¥ou
however /sideways/
it > all > went.
it meant it all
to me
heart-on-my-sleeve
[i supppse]
just a wish is all
it could
be;
#dammitdarling
i was. so. sure.
i fit >on >your >mouth
so
perfectly

i'm {pretty} certain
i'llbestaying
in | love | with you
Oh >> I wouldn't choose it
it just >set>tled >there
behind. each. rib.
under _ my _ tongue _
between-each-breath
the grind
& the gasps
e•ve•r•y ••••sigh
= empty resign
at. just. the. thought.
of your
× name ×

the words. don't. come.
so e as ily
these _ days
not so much <at all>
whatdoihavetosay
[when] she is no longer
^listen^ing^ ^^
}}wooden}} {{chimes{{
cl _an _ k  around
like her° name° in° my° head°
& her-voice-in-my-chest
₩hen you've had her
in your skin\ \ bones\ \ breath
once she's.             gone.....
what's.    really.
¿left.

¿how to¿
make _ peace _ w/ _ time
<that
bitter sense**
of-the-moments-which
grate\my\bones
<some
end~less~ re~ver~ie
#whereyouare
& if there. are. any.
thoughts> of> me
<maybe
[it's just me]
or may _ be it's }} {obsess}ing
& i'm stuck || stalled ||
<here
my^ hand^ in^ the^ air^
be>gg>ing <[> for
¥our
<scru° tin°   y°

it's × burnt × toast
&allofthethings;
you. let. go.
until _ _ there is [   nothing.  ]
}tohold{
& you-don't-know
if the ~salt~~water~
really matters
it could. be. the. waves.
the cl°ink°° of the ice
in ^her ^cocktail
or >her >eyes >or >her >nose
¿who knows?
a \ NY \way\
what-does-it-matter-now
{haditever}
| whatever |she wanted
》ebbs》《 and 》《flows》
her £ips
~ your ~mo~uth~~
&
#gone

you. know.
just _ how
to bring me
tomyknees
it >must >please >you >so
& you\tease\ it
the-whole-while;
₩** knows. me. so. ₩ell.
i can't "tell" if i even
care 》《to 》《breathe
this {need} is
killing
| me |

need to  | cease |
{to fit}
so _ per°fect°ly°
inyourneck
beg. to. forget.
your > fingGgeRs
in\my\hair\
so  #hungry
& ¥et so
~del~i~cate~
i-no-longer-want
to feel your sm _ ile
inmyskin
make. it. stop.
{this needing you}
it's-something-i-can't
feed &
it's | starving |
me
[    hollow.  ] bruised
&    sore  
don'tknow
what ^this ^ breath 》《 ing
is. for.
} stuck { between
your hazel
& the || door;
don'treallyknow
what-i-know
any __ *more

let _ me
| camp | here
inyourgaze
sleep> there>
on. your. lips.
[wrap-me-up] in your
words & your
^arms^
here's the 'simple' "
#truth;
i can fi\nal\ly breathe
aga**in