I just want to love you
...I've decided.
And it's not what/you're/expecting
It's not what you've.come.to.know.
You see,....as I walked with the stars
tonight;
It occurred to me....
....What most call 'love' isn't so...at all...
What most call love...
Is merely a loan....

They give their 'love'
But if not returned...(it is expected to be returned{and often with interest})
Well,...there is disappointment/resentment/even the///antonym...{howdaresheafteralltheloveI've....}
That kind of 'love' is merely a bar//gain...
That kind is a ne-go-ti-at-tion of give/and/ receive...that.is.a.......loan...
That is Banking 101.

I'm not going to loan you.

I've decided {iamhelplesstoresist} to love you...
...I am in love with you...
And who doesn't love being in love...?
I mean,...I'm elated
I could burst just thinking your name
I am grinning like a fool [when I think of things I want to tell you]
And my step is lighter>And my heart is fuller> And my laugh is quicker>and the world is a warmer place....
...Like this...
And I am grateful.
...and I need nothing from ...you
You never have to even... know...
I just get to selfishly enjoy loving you  {eyes,mouth,voice,words}
On
My
Own

So,..I've decided to. l o v e. you
.....And I'm so h/a/p/p/y.

Words that fell so...easily
...now stalled within my mouth.
Our static/electric/con-nec-tion
...faint and all but ground.ed.out.
Violet/crimson/tangerine
...whitewashed to simple gray.
The tension of.the.wanting
...slackened-slip-knot...
given; way.
My head is above^ground^again
...My feet treaded/your/way
Now that you've chosen...n o t h in g
...only scattered letters
....left...to...claim.
The spell...has been/b/r/o/k/e/n.
...You made your point-of-pain;...
you,...so convinced 'defeat and ruin'
...the only outcomes gained.
Your reasons and your why's
{You so clea(n)r-ly cling to fear}
There's a calm...you've...found
....in-holding-on to old love and/old/tears.
Although I tend/to/let/slip ONLY
..what's been torn from my clenched F ist S.
I realize in my heart-break-moment
There.... is.a.certain//...
...Mercy...
...found.../in/this.

I can't shake ...
the hold/the clasp/the clench...
All/my/air.
...she told me... I/had/a/
....good //name.
...And
I can't-explain-to-anyone
(She's probably the only
heartbeat to.get.it//said it)
...why it even...matters.
But the sentiment has. ..
... s. t.
>U.
>C.
k.
And i'm Swallowing marbles
...At the thought/of/it
[IKnowsheknowsiknow]
In the end...
It's those {little}
...Things
that so easily could go... <un-noticed>
{WE noticed everything
sheandi}
..That was the beginning
Of the beginning
[That barely got a start]
So many ~little~ things...
//armwrestlingpoetswhiskeyart//

In the end it's so... p l a i n...to see

...it's so.often.the {small---est} shards...
that cause.the.most.
...harm.

I watched the sun...rise...
Naturally (these,days) my thoughts.... drift.to.her.
~as they seem to do~
orange, and, blue, orange, and, blue,
And I've always had faith in the universe
Knowing the lessons were there...
...Somewhere.
But this time....this one.woman.
《poetinmyheart》
It doesn't seem quite... fair
I wasn't ......l o o k i n g
I did. Not. need.
I/was/con.tent.
being.
How is it that I stumbled upon...her
The path;each step;...cruel shoes
...wonder//how I ever wandered...
...On that road that-led-to-her
I AM NOT this girl...
I don't just.... fall,...
Not.like.this...
Mostly,...--- not. at. all,...
I even told her...how I/don't/think/I've/met my greatest love,..yet
And,..yet....
I'm wounded and I'm b a f f l e d
And feelingsosmall...
...this longing so desparately
For.her.eyes/hands ^smile/voice
...alloverme
And all of it just- a - l-o-n-g - list
Of what-I-
can...Not
--------- have...
.here. I. am.
///Stalled///
...maybe I...can...
feel Grateful {nonetheless}
For f/i/n/a/l/l/y
Feeling... this way
....at all....
Now I know---I CAN...
I guess there is.a.lesson
in ...being...
s/m/a/s/h/e/d/....

Until her...
....I thought I was just...
... broken.

My reasons...
Lack reason.
Shared paper/words/
wants.
Con\nec\tions...
...SNAPS and ...dots...
Don't.know.what's.missing.
Until... you... find...it...
//Own my heart//
Own/my/thoughts
And I never had you at all
...But how I  want you
    So.little.time.
spilledwords---spilled wine
On paper <insignificant>
...I suppose...
holding hands by holding rhymes
If marked in tempo...if marked in time
...Barely a cursive i
Still//stillness... I,...Left here...
...am haunted
{Spector of your smile}
-ScribblingMyVitals-
Prose to quell the ache
....finally awake....
Left to linger in the wake:
the joy of your hello;
Deceives the
...the s l i c e of/your/
good//bye.
...minutes too slender
Yet my skin... knows...
the bite.