Dear Dad,
I
  Am
     So
Sorry
    For
       Not
         Being
What
   You
    Wanted me
       To
   BE

Do you know what it is like,
to lie in bed awake;
with thoughts to haunt
you every night,
of all your past mistakes.

Knowing sleep will set it right -
if you were not to wake

When he left
He never knew--
He took a little girls heart too

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
I loved him, and sometimes he loved me too.

I'm the girl who stutters...
But...
I fell in love with...
The boy who mutters

Suddenly this defeat.
This rain.
The blues have gone gray
And the Browns have gone gray
And yellow
A terrible amber.
In the cold streets
Your warm body.
In whatever room
Your warm body.
Among all the people
Your absence
The people who are always
Not you.
I have been easy with trees
Too long.
Too familiar with mountains.
Joy has been a habit.
Now
Suddenly
This rain.