I wrote to you
I don’t know if you saw
But that was all of it
A last message

I’ll put it here
Because I feel bad how long it was up for
But I don’t know
I don’t know


I miss you
I’m not supposed to
But I still want us
Where did this go

You had me promise to stay
I made you promise to stay
I knew it’d happen
You knew I was truthful though

And now it’s gone
I act angry to make you forget me
You blame me for your problems and pain
And I live on, grieving internally

I’m deleting everything
I’m letting go of all my trauma and memories
I have nothing to give this emptiness inside my mind
I manifested a life I can survive in

But that doesn’t mean I’m fully happy
It means the lexapro takes away the ability to suffer
And it doesn’t mean I hate you
It means I wish I could show I still care

So goodbye, for real
I won’t cause any more trouble
As hard as it is to put an end to my dreams
I’ll do it for you

You won’t read this
I’m going silently
I want to do anything
But pulling us closer would **** us

I put everything into us
I know you did too
But you ended it as if it was just some fling
That’s why I can’t forgive you

It’s not that you did anything wrong
You didn’t do what I wanted
And no matter what anyone thinks
I can’t change my heart from being purple

The question on everyone’s mind
So I’ll answer it
The why

I had to delete my account
268 poems
All of my heart spilled open
All revealing of my truth

And people twisted it
Made me feel terrible for being human

While my poems offered sanctuary
To any heart involved in the tale

I wanted to write without being judged
Seen without hearing of it
But that required not being seen at all
And it was time for my poetry to refresh

It doesn’t mean I’m disappearing
I’m right here
I just needed to restart
I needed to reanalyze

I don’t intend to make this about them
So I’ll leave one last message
A message that probably won’t reach
A message I couldn’t care if it did

Expose me, spare me, do what you want
Reveal me to other people who knew me
It accomplishes nothing between each other
Life happens and you can’t name the villain

It’s pointless to reach out
I’m not going back
I’m heart broken over one girl
I couldn’t accept that I couldn’t have anyone

So I’ll leave it here
Hopefully you both find your peace
Just know, I didn’t take it
I fell back from something I couldn’t offer