Look
I know what your thinking
If you're living at all
It's better than being in a hole stinking
But that's not so
And I would know
Breathing in air
And being alive
Have very different meanings
For how you survive
Make some mistakes
Get a view on others
Disagree a lot
But be kind to each other
Look in the eyes
Don't try to prove a point
Travel a **** ton
Occasionally smoke a joint
Get drunk with friends
Get a broken heart
Feel a lot of sorrow
Like you're falling apart
Live through a couple crisis
And find good people a long the way
Stand up for yourself
Get the opinions of others
But don't give a **** about what they say
Do something different
Break from routine
Act like an idiot in public
Don't forget to sing
Go crazy for another person
Have some go insane for you
Learn to let go of yourself sometimes
But eventually come back and get through
Be as healthy as you can
Be smart if you want
Turn up the music in your car
Admit if you are wrong
Go to the funerals
Of all the people you love
Question god a little bit
Scream at the guy above
Believe in something bigger
Even if it's not there
Be you're own diety
Be the devil for all I care
Just don't live day to day
Like it's meant to be the same
Stop pretending there's an order
Like life is on a quiet train
A long distance to go
But at an alarming speed
We can sit until we get off
But why would there be a need?
Release the boxcars
Blow up the tracks
Jump off at the bridge
And take your life back

Words fail me to write in rhyme
And now I must sleep
I can't afford the time
For I must work that daily grind
In a workforce so unrefined
Tweaking cooks
And moody staff
All on something else
Just to get past
Drink and pills and greens afloat
Sober minds
Make nasty blokes
I work for tips
Or I work for free
It's up to the customer
To show generosity
Fake a smile
Show off some quick wit
Get stiffed again
These ******* ******
And soon a double shift awaits
And then again I'll stifle my hate
There are those who get me through
The days
And at times bring in love
Always coming my way
Making me laugh the shift into play
Maybe it'll be a better day
And I wish that I would sleep
But words are stuck
And they want me to speak
To write about nonsense
About my life
About my work
About my strife
And high as ****
But I don't seem to mind
I guess I found a little time
To be me within a rhyme
Guess that's cool
To suddenly see
My random spark
Of creativity
It maybe a waste of time to read
I'll take no offense
Because there is no need
It's my way of ******* around
Poetically


Thank you and goodnight

Who am I now to be?
I can't form a coherent thought.
From this life, from what I can see,
I never done that a lot
I pick and choose
Who and what I believe I can't lose
And let them infect me..
As a vessel for their use
I bide my time
Commit some crimes
Confess it all within a rhyme
And act as if I've been more than fine.
I hear them all, my guiding reasons
To why I'm still alive
My friendship, loyal to a fault
My honor, well intact
My humor, it always wins them all
My love, is a bit more complicated than that
I hurt them
Well, I make an impression, it seems
It's the kind that makes you question love
And the dark corners in between
Those feel they can't live without me
When I've seen others do just that
My self worth is waning
And I see
No amount of humor can bring it back
I guess I must face what I obviously lack
I'll live your dreams
But only on my reality's track
Where's the focus?
Where's that push?
Where's the certainty?
Where's the truth?
The drunken line won't get me much
I feel your pains before I feel your touch
And all those lost, far and wide
Always fall clumsily within my stride
And making me question why I'm alive
If not for them then nothing
Or so I'm told
Their love is much stronger
Their love is much more bold
I've heard it all
And now I've become a bit more older
Is your heart beating faster?
Am I the breath you take?
Am I the one to solve it all?
Did you come to me to break?
Give me and answer
For devil's sakes.
I must know who I become
Each day I wake
And god forbid if I forsake
Anyone's pleas
And their burdens I'll take
No thought to my own
Those thoughts are kept
To desecrate
So spare me the time
Mine is all but spent
I stand at attention
But I can never keep track
To where my mind went
Say I don't care
Say my loyalties lie elsewhere
Say that those who I love and cherish
Will leave my chest cavity bare
And I love you as much as I can
I swear
Still, know that I love
With a seething glare
I'm all but aware
That my shattered self
Isn't always there
My heart's in the right place
However
My recollection is bare
Make me feel what you want me to
In times of war
I know how to get through
Wether it's my time or love or body or more
I'd lose myself
Just to find all of you

Slip and shatter
What's the matter?
I can tell what's up
By the space of your mental crater.
Use your words
Eloquent or blurred
Use them all
There's nothing I haven't heard.
Bad for me
Bad for you
Make a point
That isn't true
Is this the best you can put me through?
Pour it up
Hold your smoke
The 151 frightens you
The **** makes you choke
Piling up on those mental notes
They don't match the words that you just wrote
You can't control what you can't provoke
My safety is my own
And you seem like a harmless bloke
So please
Enlighten me
Make me notice
What I obviously don't see
Wether you love or destroy
Wether I'm on a pedestal or just a toy
Wether we're clear for annihilation
Wether we keep the peace
Wether we walk the straight line
Or just on the crease
None of the damage will ever cease
But you'll be lucky to see tears from me
Make me hurt
Make me bleed
Make me worry
******* make me see
If the problem of the matter
Is indeed me
It's all the same to me
I keep it simple
Keep it honest
Calm you the best way I can
And at that, I'm not always the best
I'll be the one your head lays to rest
You be the wave
I'll be the crest
Just don't feel that I'm unaware
That the danger will slowly progress
You're not my guinea pig
And you say I'm not a test
Theories will be proven, though
And some slightly laid to the side
Never really leaving
Always within the corner of our eyes
Love or friend
Killer or foe
Tell me what's on your mind
I'll promise to be the only one to know

Clouded and hazed
Red eyes and blazed
Burning the tips of my mental fray
I guess I lived another day
Inhale and choke
Giggle mid ****
I held it in before you spoke
Burning throats
Hooded coats
Hide from them
Without invisibility cloaks
Party tricks
Match and mix
Help me scratch my musical itch
Zone out far
Pick out stars
Who cares about the smell in your car?
Share a cig
Have a mental dig
Excavate the thoughts I've hid
I'll be honest if that's what you bid
But wouldn't you rather take another hit?
Shotgun cough
We're both lost
Is it true or is it false?
That's not the bridge that we need now cross
Different views
***** shoes
I stare at them instead of you
Avoid all the questions too
I have no answers and have no idea what to do
Just light up again
Keep light, my friend
Breathe in once more and it'll never end
I'll smile and laugh
Cough up some hash
Get out of the car and rid the evidence in the trash
Sharing with you our personal stash
And making the smile we need last

Strive for the best
Live through the worst
Fight off the itch
I'll never come first
Selfishness
Comes with a price
If you're not alone
You have to pay it twice
Reach for a glass of courage
Slap
Light the up the fumes
Slap
Grasp for the knife
Slap
**** out the light
Fine
Awake and confined
No zephyr propelled cloud
To guide my dreams tonight
Look into the dark
Fear myself more than it
Feel what you don't
Hate myself for it
Crave snaps into my brain
****** thoughts in violent refrain
Not just a bad day
I can handle all that
I can only say
I've had nightmares before that
Craze
Frenzy
Thirst
Angry
Wheezing
Groping
Never hoping
Memories pierce
Hatred provoking
I can literally feel myself choking
But you'll be satisfied
If I do it silently
Sobriety makes me wish myself
Into nothing
Live in my head
Not a happy tenant
Force words out into the void
In hopes to be repentant
But I sin more than I breathe
And it difficult when I have no air
Just laying awake and screaming in silence
So not to wake one sleeping near
Guess I'll accommodate
They say they'll accept me
But not my self hate
It's unattractive
And looks poorly on me
Though it's my beings natural majority
I fear it's just a matter of time
When my good intentions
**** up my life