Choke on my own blood
As I scream myself to sleep
Smothered by unanswered prayers
And parched desires
Like a ****** of crows
My devils circle above me
Awaiting the steaming carrion
Of the remnants of my heart

My sorrows countless
The only ones that shall
Share my bed this night
Assemble and lay their traps for me
As my sequestered soul
Wanders the nightscape
Seeking her out
But finding only the hooks and snares
Set by my conspiracy of demons
Waiting just behind the lids of my eyes

I do not dream...
I fall
I do not sleep...
I die
This bed of nails a coffin
These musty sheets a shroud
Tasting nightly deaths
Condemned and cast out
To the sun cracked wastelands

Lay no stone
To mark this unholy site
Scatter my ashes
Over her homeland
That I may finally know her
As her sweet breath
Stirs the dying embers
Of my spirit.

Beyond my door
Nothing but dark quiescent
Corridors of silence
Cardboard walls locking in
Each to his own nightmares
Men jerking off to senile fantasies
Lady Luck crouching in the corner
A blushing malignant smile on her lips
We choke on cigarette smoke
Coughing up long-expired dreams
Onto a sagging mattress
Marked with cigarette burns
Dry *** and stagnant wishes
Sometimes on Saturday nights
Comes the sound of a woman's voice
Visiting somewhere off the corridors
A weathered ***** costing a desperate Romeo
His last $10 leaving him
with no money for wine or smokes
Trading his motley comforts
For the only companionship money can buy
No sounds of *******
Not even a $10 *******
They just talk through the night
Reminding him and the rest of us
What it was like before it all went wrong
I barely recall the sound
Of a woman's voice most times
Their breathy candor
Their lilting speech
Their throaty **** sounds
I think of the years that have passed since
And my room grows colder
The walls laugh louder
Her voice fills the corridors
Reminding us that we are
Disconnected from the world
And its amorous gardens of delight
Eventually she departs
And all returns to wounded normalcy
The merciless sound of nothingness incarnate
Endless corridors with rooms
Housing cigarettes cheap wine
And men who have forgotten how to cry.

In this room...  
It's blistered cardboard walls  
And a monotonous bulb
Guttering above me  
Like a flickering 60 watt sun
That forgot how to shine  
  
Surrounded by the scent  
Of stale cigarettes  
And the scattered remnants of nightmares  
Footsteps  outside my door  
Disembodied fragments of men  
Scurrying down infinite corridors of silence
  
Leaning out my window  
Into the sprawling urban night  
The wafting bouquet of garbage  
And the relentless symphony  
Of sirens and screams  
The ****** on the corner  
Pacing her purgatory of sidewalks  
With absent feline grace  
  
I light my last cigarette  
Burning my throat and stomach  
Blowing smoke rings of oblivion  
Towards the bulging cracked ceiling  
  
Scrawling desperate verse  
To a love in a far distant place  
Wondering if she'll ever reach me  
Amidst this wreckage and ruin.  
  
One day they'll find me  
My silent pen in stigmata death grip  
With nothing but tattered notebooks  
And scattered throwaways  
To mark my earthly sojourn.

Dig it---
Midnight
Clap-board border town

Myopic camera zooms in
Like crosshair eye

Skin like weathered saddle bags
A belch of crows over-head
Murderous wing
Tilting & lilting
In random unison
Shifting in a pale, parched sky.

Time passes like horses
Leading a black maria.

Dig it---
Midnight
Saloon lights
Sounds of cat houses
Beautiful thieves in attendance

Twelve hours to showdown
Whole town will be watching
"Bring your guns Johnny boy-
There's gonna be trouble ".

Rudimentary gunslinger
In a cardboard hotel
Gideon Bible open to Mark 5:9

Fast forward

Catacombs
Nursing homes
She rises like curdled sunshine
Ivory ribs rip at her side.

Outdoor cinema
Pageant of crosswalks
And the commune of sewers
Subway platforms
Infinity of rusty rails

Dig it---
Bangkok bordello
And the stink of ****
***** daydreams
Yellow fever nightmares
Blood dawn rising
Upon lurid fingers
And the still breeze
Hanging like conjugal sweat
Never to awake in my own skin again

I’m only as strong as the drugs I'm on.

Through a rusty needle in my vein--
  My kingdom come
From the smoking barrel of a gun--
  My kingdom come
Dropped from the ****** backs of a ****** of crows--
   My kingdom come
Riding the slick, sweaty backs of rats--
   My kingdom come
Raining down in tears from a blood-stained sky--
   My kingdom come
Dripping with fire from a legion of mangled stars--
   My kingdom come
From her torn maidens head in my palm--
   My kingdom come
Rolling off her swollen breast--
   My kingdom come
Falling upon the daggers in my eyes--
   My kingdom come
From the bottom of a pill bottle--
   My kingdom come
Galloping upon the bare backs of four frothing nags--
   My kingdom come
Bore upon the bowed back of the Mutant King--
   My kingdom come
Searing, seething in harnessed surrender--
   My kingdom come
Upon the breeze of a falling hammer--
   My kingdom come
In the sweet taste of *****-
   My kingdom come
Laced in her morning breath--
   My kingdom come
Upon the wings of stale incense--
   My kingdom come
Nestled within the stain of fermented grain--
   My kingdom come
Coursing through my virulent, rebel blood--
   My kingdom come
Crystalized in the budding dew drops--
   My kingdom come
Perched upon the peak of the blossoming roses thorn--
   My kingdom come
Dripping from the ******'s flaxen quince--
   My kingdom come
Upon the blushing pilgrim's lips
   My kingdom come
Over the peaks and valleys of her form--
   My kingdom come
Stepping upon the bruised backs of the meek--
   My kingdom come
Rising out of the ashes--
   My kingdom come
Erected in my image--
   My kingdom come
Advancing to the rumbling fanfare of Gabriel's trumpet--
   My kingdom come
Unleashed like fever and plague--
   My kingdom come
Drawn and quartered before the mobs ill council--
   My kingdom come
Reflected in the shifting scales of serpents--
   My kingdom come
Through the obscene prayers of ******--
   My kingdom come
Dawning from the wreckage at Zarathustra's heel
   My kingdom come
By the conspiracy of orphans and dregs--
   My kingdom come
In the shadow of a renewed covenant--
   My kingdom come
As the sun creeps 'neath the rolling hills like a stealth criminal--
   My kingdom come
When the night has spent the last of her stars--
   My kingdom come
As the tattered firmament collapses in defeat--
   My kingdom come
Swinging like a pendulum 'neath the gallows--
   My kingdom come
Oscillating feral and naked 'round the Maypole--
   My kingdom come
Through the splintered window and wormwood door--
   My kingdom come
Healed by a flock of mutinous angels--
   My kingdom come
Across fallow fields of endless longing--
   My kingdom come
Smuggled into seedy ports--
   My kingdom come
Upon the cusp of a gathering storm--
   My kingdom come
In relentless, unbridled harmony--
   My kingdom come
In any form, immaculate or deformed,
let my flesh fall and become undone--
   My Kingdom come

Forgive the night
And it's scattered ashes
It's morbid children
Casting lots for the
Bruised garments of a
Reluctant martyr
Satyrs and shaman
Sages and madmen
Derelict casinos
And broken boulevards.

Forgive the night
Fearless and feral
The desolate moon betrothed
To truant stars
That forgot to shine
And unanswered prayers
That forgot to die
Brooding orchids nodding
Towards an unresponsive sky.

Forgive the night
It's tapestry of shadows
It's soliloquy of loss and longing
It's conspiracies of silence
It's unrelenting chaos

Forgive the night
It's gospels of oblivion
It's prose written in curdled moonlight.

Forgive the night
It's orphans of Cain
Wandering, forever wandering
In kingdoms of perpetual obscurity
Carrying their mark proudly
As a ruthless crown.

This is the way of things here.

This is permanent...

Her name carved into my flesh
Nights full of razor blades
And ******* out my lucky stars

Endless hours spent
In spectral dormitories of the soul
Sharing my bed with an unresponsive shadow

Fatal portraits and indecipherable mosaics
Of rusty blood and stale *****
And random hebephrenic blotches adorn the walls

...I don't remember doing that(?)

Failure to connect
Server not found
Session has expired

Take these moribund dreams from me
Bury them in the catacombs of my heart
With the rest of the headless children

Then bring me XL18 portable flamethrower
And my Swiss Army knife
So I can express myself with full poetic license

Have you ever witnessed catharsis
In budding roses of holocaust?

Have you ever witnessed self-realization
Measured in casualties?

...This **** is permanent.