Work is boring, I'd 
Rather be home sleeping in
A nice comfy bed 

Work is boring, I'd 
Rather be smoking a joint
And watching TV

Work is boring, I'd 
Rather be drinking a beer
And drunk barroom brawls

Work is boring, I'd 
Rather be out surfing the
Gnarly ocean waves

Work is boring, I'd 
Rather stick my arm in a 
Blender; cause some fun

Work is boring, I'd 
Rather be out banging some
Coked up prostitutes 

Work is boring, I'd
Rather dig my brain out thru my
My ears with a fork

Work is boring, you 
Can tell because I'm writing
Too many haikus

Wake up

beep beep beep

The alarm is going off

beep beep beep

The alarm is always going off

beep beep beep

Stretch your legs until they hit the armrest on the couch

beep beep beep

Why am I sleeping on the couch

beep beep beep

The girl you paid for is upstairs

beep beep beep

Tangled in your bedsheets and snoring loudly

beep beep beep

You couldn't sleep

beep beep beep

My mind is working slow

beep beep beep

Shut that ******* alarm off

beep bee------

It's a struggle to sit up straight
Even more to get off of the couch
I try once,
Twice...
On the third time I use the couch's springs to launch myself to standing position

I almost fall back down when the tequila from the night before
Reaches my head and gives me the spins
I steady myself by finishing off a warm beer bottle sitting on the table
And add it to the piles of empty

My head clears
I think it clears
I'm not sure what clear feels like much anymore
I shake my head clear of these thoughts

Stumble towards the stairs
And step on a used ******
It follows me up the stairs like a piece of snake skin clinging to my foot

Thirteen steps feels like climbing Everest
I sit down on the seventh and wonder if its worth it
It's not
Nothing ever is
But I crawl up the remaining stairs and stand ***** in the hallway

I open the door to my bedroom
Her snores echo in the mostly empty room and she's mumbling someone's name

I block it all out and leave a couple fifties on the dresser
Close the bedroom door and walk to the bathroom

I drop my boxers on the floor;
Knocking loose the ******;
Scratch my ***** and **** out the nights alcohol

I'm feeling dehydrated now

The shower is on now
I step inside and let the water wash down on me
In these short moments I feel alive and awake

I try to hold onto this feeling but it always fades

The water is getting colder
I can feel my spine tense up under it

****, I don't want to
I never do

I shut the water off and towel dry poorly
Beads of water still dripping from my naked body as I walk around the house

I open the door to my room
There's a pile of work uniforms sitting in the corner
I'm not sure if they're ***** or clean
But I don't much care either way

The girl stirs
Coming awake long enough to ask me to **** her again
I tell her I can't but if...
I let the sentence trail off as her snores start again

I stare at her as I pull my pants on and throw on a button up shirt
She's beautiful in a damaged way
Her life is etched in the lines and faults of her body and she needs to eat
I tell myself tonight I'll buy her dinner before we **** ourselves to death

My **** lingers to life for a minute at that thought
But I'm running late and have no time to see it through

I kiss her softly on her forehead
I haven't done that to someone in a long time and it feels foreign to me
I shrug the feeling off and head outside to my car

I turn the key and the engine cranks but doesn't start
I turn the key again expecting different results and not getting them

*****

I take out the flask in my glove box and take a long drink of the single malt scotch inside it
I feel my insides burning with life as it works its way into my stomach
I crank the key again and the engine sputters to life

I get out of the car, remove the wheel chalks, and jump back in as the car slowly rolls backwards out of the driveway

I throw the gears into drive and head towards work
Getting stopped by every red light along the way
I sip away at the flask at every stop
And by the time I get to work it's empty
I immediately dread the sober drive home in twelve hours

I pull in through the gate at work and idle my car into the first parking spot I can find
About half a mile from the front door

The guards are standing around talking sports
One is an ex-cop
He sees me and grabs the wand to scan me

He spots a book in my lunchbox
Says, "oh you're one of those readers; I never had the patience for that ****."
"Yeah me neither. It's toilet paper."
He chuckles, I roll my eyes
And go out into the factory to punch in

I wait until it's a minute past my start time and punch my time card in
I sneak away from the morning meeting and go to the bathroom
Smoking cigarettes for the next hour until the cleaning crew comes in and kicks me out

I work my shift by hiding away from the cameras and other people as much as possible

I punch out for lunch and go to a gas station down the street and buy a six pack
It's a three pack by the time I clock back in

I finish my day off by wandering the rafters above everyone's head
They never look up
I watch them
Study them
Stare down exposed cleavage

Joe comes up the ladder and interrupts my voyeurism
"this where you been hiding?"
"mostly"
"one of those days?"
"aren't they all."
"yeah. listen, I'm going to the bar after work. you drinking?"
"when am I not?"
"true. so I'll see you there?"
"probably."

I lied.
Joe has a certain way of weaseling out of paying his tab and I'd rather not be the ***** today

A half hour left until my shift is over
I sneak off to the bathroom again and smoke a couple cigarettes before I punch my time card and leave

I hit every red light on the way home
My three pack is gone by the time I hit the last red light

I pull into my driveway just as the girl is waking up and about to leave
She smiles at me and makes small talk
I ask her if she is hungry
Her smile widens
"yes*" she says

We go out to eat at some roadside diner down the street, stop in the bar for a few beers and comradery,
Pick up some wine and a bottle of *** on the way home

And **** and drink until sunrise

I call off work

And we **** for both our money's worth.

It was a national day
I pieced myself together
From remains of melancholia  
You asked about the weather
I said it looked like a tornado
I'm spinning into a dreary dream
You laughed the way roses wilt away
And took another sip from a broken glass of wine

I watched the garden untangle itself
In the breeze of an April's December
Hanging holiday lights with whiskey breath
Your hair tangled in knots
Like bows on unopened presents
I remember the shade of Crimson
That you left across the white picket fence
When the rain poured and tried to wash it all away

Lately I've started writing texts to people
Even finishing them sometimes
But I don't send them
I never send them

I think about how much
I don't really care to start
A conversation with the person
And how very little
I care for their responses back

Their one word responses
To complicated questions
Or their six text page opinion
When I never asked for one

Instead I delete the text
Put my cell down on the bench
And go back to whatever
Other pointless task I was doing
Before I got the brilliant idea
To write a text
That I had no intention of sending

I woke early again today
Got slightly dressed and went outside
Started splitting logs in 90 degree heat
A new habit I've picked up
One of many I've filled my time with lately
Habit or hobby - hard to tell the difference anymore
Split a few quickly and worked some knots the best I could before the heat got the better of me and I needed a break
I set my ax down and grabbed a small hatchet and cut down some overgrown bamboo plants
I cut them down only a few months ago
But life changes drastically in only a shot amount of time
And they grow so quickly
They towered above me by near five feet
And now they're only up to my knee cap
I could hear the shortened stalks whistling in the wind, "we'll be back"
And I carried the debris out into the sun to dry to become kindling for a fire
Sweat soaked from clothes to bone
I grabbed another log and raised the ax above my head and brought it down
Using my strength and the weight of the ax to sever the wood into two pieces, neatly down the center
No knots to work thru on this one
I continue chopping and splitting and working until I'm happy with the size of the wood
And I grab another log and keep chopping and splitting and working
Feeling the sun beating down and the sweat pouring down
My mind clear and thinking only of the task at hand
I listen to the morning birds sing and the crickets chirp
Dogs bark in the distance and my dog looks in their direction as if she can see them thru all the obstructions in her way
I add to the rhythm with the whistle of the ax coming down and the severing of the wood
I feel balanced in nature for those brief moments between the neighborhood waking up
And the memories I'm not remembering
I carry some wood to where it will burn and stock the rest near the back for a later date
I wipe the sweat from my brow and a breath in the hot, humid air
Filling my lungs until they can hold no more
And exhale
I fix myself a drink by twisting off the cap of a beer and feel it cool me from the inside as I drink it down
And take a seat on a lawn chair
Petting my dog on her head the way she likes
And I sit out in the sun, out in the yard,
and close my eyes and imagine the peace around me
That I feel inside

Cities and their streets crumbling
Bodies falling from the sky
Hitting the ground twitching
Am I going mad here?

Apparitions without faces
On the edge with nowhere to go
The fragilness haunts me

Like a story I've read before
Like a story I've written before

Candles in the window
Flickering with their flames
Casting shadows

Children dawn masks
Staring with their black eyes

Watch the sun in the sky
It fades slowly like a whisper

How did I get here?

Erosion, disintegrate

I can't stay

I've got the answers
To questions I never thought to ask
Torn from pages of forgotten books
Yesterday remains gone

How do I get back
To where life still breaths?
Yesterday remains gone

Abandoned or aborted

*death still grows after the sunflowers are plucked

Is this really the life we must force ourselves to live everyday 
this blue collared white collared no collar state of affairs 
where we strangle ourselves daily with the grind of odd jobs poor paychecks an broken homes 
scattered like insects catching fire under the magnified heat of the sun 
our fingers ******* and our minds fall in line to what they tell us 
like obedient children we don't raise our hands to ask why 
no we just bite our tongues and call this a living 
Waiting for our death to come and liberate ourselves from this drudgery 
this mundane system of complications we've entangled ourselves into 
feeling like vines growing on the side of a nuclear bomb waitin to drop off the edge of this planet 
cascading into the imagination of nothingness we know we feel deep inside 
but we've buried it in a rush and sometimes you can hear it grumbling 
crying out to be set free 
this imagination has got us into trouble before 
thinking we can change the system we've built with our own hands and words we've cut from rapists murders and molesters 
Kings queens and holy saints 
we see what we are but do little in time to repair the perceptions we've become 
only tightening our nooses everyday like corporate wear neckties begging for a little more breath 
and a little more time so we can amass the collection the tv tells us we need 
so we wash out our morals And give in to the notion of supply and demand 
but never actually demanding the change so many of us crave and need 
we pull splinters from our teeth and sell them as souvenirs 
hoping someone else will choke on them and loosen these ropes 
binding ourselves to the hanging effect of effigies burning brilliantly in midnight shades of *** bottomed out with whiskey hangovers 
so far it's got to be the only way out of this but the exit we always miss 
when we're traveling two hundred ten miles forward without the gift of sight or intellect 
on baking asphalt looking for a wall to end it all 
looking for someone to call to end it all...

But I've packed my bags and I'm hitchhiking the rest of the way 
keeping my thumb inside my jacket because it's better to walk alone 
than get picked up by a car heading for the fall

...

       Not
            h
            e

         o
         n
         l
lonely
  n    
  e

You're the kind of girl I want to grow old with
Sitting on the front porch drinking sweet tea
Playing a song on the guitar
I wrote for you and me

You're the kind of girl I want to count the lines in your smile
Every beautiful crack that's aged with time
Knowing I put half of them there
And you put even more on mine

You're the kind of girl I want to dig into the earth with
Planting seeds and watching them blossom
I can hear you're small laugh
When mine don't grow as well as yours
I'll take you into my arms and kiss that laugh into a smile

You're the kind of girl I want to go on every adventure with
Travel the world by sea, by plane,
In a Winnebago stuffed with all our things
It will never be where we end up that matters
It will be you by my side with a smile in your eyes

You're the kind of girl I hope to grow old with
Lay down together one night after a good home cooked meal and a few drinks
You in my arms and me in yours
Smiles in our hearts
I'll give you one last kiss on your lips,
Another on the top of your head
We'll close our eyes and drift off into the morning of another life...

Granite face
Heart of stone

No tremble
Through my bones

Stoic eyes
Silent tongue

An image of a ghost
Unflinching

I’m good at hiding
The way I am feeling

Well I want to touch your face but you're so far away
Can't seem to stretch out my arms long enough to grab ahold and keep ahold
you keep pulling away

But I'm not giving up
Grasp my hands for every strand of you that I can pull away to pull closer
Just to be near

I crave

I ache

It's your touch I need to soothe these moments that don't want to give in
Oh but your finger tips and the palms of your hand just sever these pains
And I give in and I'm lost in between those fingers
I want to clasp my own
Interlock and weave
I cant believe theres been a whole life we haven't been together
It's just these shared moments of passion that last forever
but it all ends too soon

Oh darlin I'm here to say I need the ache of you inside my chest
And I'd feel so alive as you with you bursting out my rib cage
Holding my heart in those beautiful hands

But you're so far away
And our arms aren't long enough
And our hands aren't strong enough

The silence between the abomination of your voice
Speaks it all, says it all
And it’s all been said before
By better minds and better tongues
In better ways than I could ever describe
I’ve heard the words that you spill so hazardly
From your dry rotted lips
Flapping and gumming opinions
Like your opinions are the only opinions that matter
You should go into politics
And spread your misinformation to the masses
Regurgitate all the those old aphorisms
Into new phrases and praises
Your mind spills uselessness
Coagulating on the floor like spilled milk
I don’t want to know what’s on your mind
I won’t want to listen to you butcher the air anymore
With the putrid smell of your lexis
Watching your scathing irritability rise and decay
Like your chopping on thick slices of grade A meat
I don’t want to know what it is that you see
I don’t want to hear you flail your jaw anymore
I want to be the one to be there when you bleed
I just want this to be over
Your conversation skills are lacking
And you should quit while you’re ahead
But then you would have never said a word
Never would have opened your mouth
And never would have had the chance to end up dead

I saw you from across the room
Locking stares with your icy eyes
Dancing between the hookah smoke and piano notes
The black dress you wore hugged every inch of you perfectly
Showing off the glamour of your feminism

Silhouetted in the dimness of light
Your hips swayed to an invisible beat
Some jazz lament, some pop secret

You were all alone
Surrounded by all your friends
And everyone you've never known

I drank away at the scotch eating away at my insides
Building the courage to whisper a simple hello

The air smelled thick of cocktails and speakeasies,
Intense conversations of after-midnight intents

With a draft twirling thru the darker strands of your hair
You nursed some drink
I couldn't tell what it was
But I imagined tasting whiskey on your lips
And smelling innocence lost on your breath

There was feigned laughter and a cracked smile
A hint of teeth and a vicious tongue

You were the one
I'd been waiting my whole life on

I adjusted the noose around my neck
Thumbed my hands into my pockets
With nervous twitches
And made my way across the room
Drawn to you like Death to a tomb

I parted the haze of wafting smoke
Hooked by the gaze you worked the room with so well

I felt the chill in the air warm as I neared
And I watched you closely
Like a beast hunting its prey
I could see it in your eyes
You were doing the same

I asked you to dance as you finished the last sip of your drink
And sat the glass down on the table with ice cubes clinking seductively
You smiled, baring teeth I wanted to feel deep in my skin

I pulled you closer and smelled your perfume
The smell of intoxication and the crisp nighttime air on a full moon

We held each other tight
One hand on the small of your back
The other entwined in your grasp

With your head cradled to my chest
We danced slow even tho the song playing was loud, fast, and crazy

The room disappeared into an obsidian blackness as we danced
Holding each other close and tight,
Wearing our groove into the floor

You were the one
I've been waiting my whole life for

You were the one
I've been waiting my whole life for

You were the one
I've been waiting for



And then I watched you disappear
As the world came back into focus
And the lights snapped on, brighter than a thousand suns

And then I watched you disappear
As the music stopped
And all the drinks had been drunk, the intoxicated stumbling home

I watched you as you disappeared
Leaving me dancing
Alone

If I were a zombie I'd eat your heart and nothing else.
That way you'll always be a part of me

and I'll always be in your heart.

Err ...

Well your heart will be in me is really what I mean.