She's more beautiful
Than all the poetry
I've ever read
Or could ever write

Endless nights
Days confused
In sunlight
Close my eyes
Squeezed tight
I’ll never be able to block out all the noise

The problem with poets
Is that they are too full
Of words and phrases

I make a drink.
A few too many you think.
I put a record on.

Let it spin.
Let it play.
Let it sink in.

I fall apart.

I take a drink.
A few too many you think.
I let the record play.

As I watch my wife
Screaming in pain
Delivering our first child
I can’t help but think
That all this pain
Is more bearable

Than all the wishful “do you see an extra line?” pregnancy tests
Than all the out right negative pregnancy tests

Than the skipping of channels at just the right moments
[And the attempt at skipping channels but failing to do so in time]
Than turning the movie off right before my wife figures out what’s going on
[And not turning it off soon enough]

Than all the doctor visits that failed to answer any questions
Than all the doctor visits that ended only in tears

Than a doctor pushing for termination
Because a test result didn’t fit in with the majority
Than a second opinion from another doctor who said “**** that doctor” and helped ease her sadness

Than all the times we wished good tidings
With anger and sorrow haunting our thoughts
Than all the times where we said nothing
Because it was just too painful to consider

Than all the moments etched permanently into our memories
Than all the moments forgotten from our thoughts

I see the pain on my wife’s face
And I hear her shouting that she can’t do it
While everyone present assures her
she can

But I don’t see the frustration and the sadness that lead to this moment
And that’s when I know

That all this pain
Is more bearable
.

I was always afraid to be without you

And when it happened...



I found out

That there was nothing to be afraid of.

I want to write for
you but I can't get published
so I write for me

<>



























<>

You touch
Deep spots

Hiding
With claws

Too much

Enough

I've known
Desire
Before
Your mouth

Fingers
Caress

Your lips
Linger

Broken

Beating

Uneven


Alone

Am I
           Still
  The
Face
        Staring back
       At me
When

            I

Am look
               ing
   At
That
        Reflection
         Staring back
     At
Me
      From
  T
    H
       E

             Other

Re       tion
flec
    In the
Mirror
rorriM

S
T
A
R
I
N
G

        B
      A
        C
      K


         At
              We

I stay awake
For far too long

Waiting for these nerves
To die out

So I can settle down
And get some sleep

So I can awaken
For far too long

Waiting for these nerves
To die out

I'm the kind of guy you date
Til somebody better comes along

Then you realize that somebody better is all wrong

But by then it's too late
I've already moved on

And I'm long gone

Cold June rain
On the tips of grass
Green and lush;

Laid flat beneath my feet

Some crushed;

Some curling over the tops
Trying to knot themselves
To the hair of my toes -

Hold me in place;

Keeping me
From places I choose
Not to go

Do not stand in front of me
For I am not a follower

Do not stand behind me
For I am not a leader

Do not stand beside me
For I am on my own

Do not take offense against me
For I know only where I am going

Do not go down the same road as me
For you must choose your own

It’s January.

Why the ****
Does everyone call and
Want to do **** with me
In January?

It’s January.

I spent the last two months
Seeing family and friends
Without being committed
To a lunatic asylum.

It’s January.

I want to hold up
In my house
And forget there’s a world
Beyond these walls.

It’s January.

Don’t talk to me until February.

In this house
Spiders are sleeping
Cats are sleeping
Dogs are sleeping
Humans are sleeping
My mind is hungry

There's
           so
     much
                       *****
        in
    my
                 mouth
right
     now.

I have been spending
Too much time roaming
Inside the four walls
Of a big square oven