I have completely slipped the grip
Where there was once creation and imagination
There is dull grays and heavy blues
Stagnant.
An atmosphere who's lullaby is silence
I get angry
I thrash at blank pages
Shatter unresponsive ink onto white walls that have no recourse
Then cry
Then rage
Then cry some more
These days are wearing thin
Underneath it all I am vulnerable and raw
I need you to see that, to hear this, to know me
I want you to stop treating me like I am dry clean only

I burrowed down
Kept my head below the fault line
Hoping that I would go unnoticed
As a novice I had no shame in hiding
A caged beast that eventually broke free
Soon the seams of my cocoon started cracking
The edges pulling with such pain
My throat burned from the effort
I was still the only one to hear the echo
From darkened corners burst forth into blinding light
A rainbow of late spring brilliance
Reflected back in dusted delicate unfurl
I was no longer an inching segment
I was a butterfly girl

I don't know you like I used to
Dove grey haze settles
In the air, swirling slide shows between us
I catch moonlit glances of your fevered advances
Stretching the fine edge of breaking free
You shutter me
Soft light bubbles pop against the backdrop
A sudden urge to laugh rises
The heavy burden of loss carried deep
This surface isn't what it used to be
I am not the same old me

I stood silent, still
City lights and sounds rained down
Forming musical puddles all around
Eyes dart everywhere to pull it all in
Lungs working to pump it all out
Filth in the gutters
Trash in the streets
Everyone moving quickly
Business at their feet
Neon signs did buckle
Under the weight of picturesque pomp
I had no idea what I was getting into
Watching the curved lines of this city's model stomp
My colors don't belong here
Foreign, sore thumb seed
Everyone comments on bringing spring in
For earth is what they truly need
How could anyone be happy in a place
Where everyone is wearing black
I left with thoughts of open fields
Oceans against my toes
I say to myself I'll never go back
...but who knows?

Your side of the bed
Is not the same
Without you in it

I am a whisky drinker
A moonshine slinker
I've got banjos on the brain
Unwilling to share my name
Soft and subtle with no E
Talking your ear off skillfully
Stopping to share bread with those on the road
Spreading sunshine and laughter wherever I go
Our paths will cross, I hope so indeed
May we share a jar and a story or three
Hugs are given with heartfelt intent
I hope you never know a cold winter spent
Without the hope of the warmth to come
If you need a reason I'll give you some

In a sea of faces
Your eyes would be my anchor

Two years gone
Willow-o-the-whisp whispers
Fleeting in those final moments
Yet standing stark as limestone monuments
Now that time has passed
Many things I let slip soft as silk against your feverish skin
Hoping that they wound their way through the fog of narcotics
Finding the struggling will of your spirit
Easing your decision to soften your hold
How could I explain that your vessel was failing
You knew in the slowing of your heart
The stressed racing of mine
I could believe you smiled though your features lay lax
Last breath eased out in exhaustion
Finding peace after a well fought war
Two years gone
*I still feel you here

My heart sleeve is tattooed and scattered
Four wind corner scars
Crisscrossing like battle lines
I've drawn in this sand of mine
The roar of your cannon's memory
Explodes loud and clear
Over the muffled cries of those that marked before you
Their leaving was more like a land mind
Blasting craters in my giving soil
That have since filled back in
Where as you hurt as Namazu would
Without Kashima to guard
*Ripping my earth apart

I want to expose you
Pull out from behind static screens and caffeine
I don't want to  know you sober sugar
Only as a lover
Dipping in and out between light's fall
Light's rise
Concrete beneath never-at-home feet
Losing sand as time runs
Always in a hurry walking too slow
I catch up
Hands palm to palm
In heart to heartbeat resuscitation
I've Gypsy Blood, remember honey
Where you go
This sun drunk passion ***** follows