As I watch my wife
Screaming in pain
Delivering our first child
I can’t help but think
That all this pain
Is more bearable
Than all the wishful “do you see an extra line?” pregnancy tests
Than all the out right negative pregnancy tests
Than the skipping of channels at just the right moments
[And the attempt at skipping channels but failing to do so in time]
Than turning the movie off right before my wife figures out what’s going on
[And not turning it off soon enough]
Than all the doctor visits that failed to answer any questions
Than all the doctor visits that ended only in tears
Than a doctor pushing for termination
Because a test result didn’t fit in with the majority
Than a second opinion from another doctor who said “**** that doctor” and helped ease her sadness
Than all the times we wished good tidings
With anger and sorrow haunting our thoughts
Than all the times where we said nothing
Because it was just too painful to consider
Than all the moments etched permanently into our memories
Than all the moments forgotten from our thoughts
I see the pain on my wife’s face
And I hear her shouting that she can’t do it
While everyone present assures her
she can
But I don’t see the frustration and the sadness that lead to this moment
And that’s when I know
That all this pain
Is more bearable
.