Monsters


As I sit here and watch the rain drop from my window pane
I’m listening to the voices in my head
Look and thinking about all this depression and anxiety
U know when they say u a teen u go through these little phases

But what I’m feeling and going through is not phases
I tried drugs to numb the pain I tried cutting myself to escape
Even tried killing my self to escape theses voices in my head and the monster who keeps comin for me

Nothing worked I even tried talkin bout it I sent signs too ppl that I was goin thru hell
And that the monster was coming to get me
I don’t know what else too do maybe everyone is blindfolded frm this beast

Or maybe they just don’t care about my wellbeing
Which ever the wind blows
Listening to Xxxtentacion and how everybody loved him
But no one look at the signs he was giving out
They only saw music that they can listen to not the pain he was going thru

Maybe that’s wat I’m doing with these poems I’m writing but no one sees the pain and the message
Only see the poetry maybe that’s wat they want to see
Who knows

As I sit here and think about life all I see is a big blurry picture
Only thing is clear is the monster who’s been waiting on me
The monster no one can see only I
The monster who’s taking over my life
And making it it’s own
The monster who pushed ppl way thinking they life everybody else
The monster who controls everything
The monster who talks too me
The monster who take theses thoughts and lock them in my head
The monster no one sees but me

The monster is u
Your the monster
Your the monster because u act like u don’t see me
You act like u can’t hear me
But u hear every word and thought that goes thru my head
Your the reason I’m like this
Your the reason I feel like this
Or is it the other monster
No
No
No
No
No
Get out my head
Both of y’all the reason
Y’all the reason for all of this
Y’all the reason for everything
Y’all the reason I act like this
Y’all the reason I do this
Y’all the reason I’m like this
Y’all the reason can’t sleep only can think bout death
Y’all the reason in every nightmare I die
Because that’s wat y’all want
But once I’m gone ain’t no comin bck
Never
Thanks to the monsters
Who been controlling me
Forever