A flash of light..
Can be so bright...
It will linger upon your fingers..
The instant you blink...
The light will shrink..
A present moment...
Paused with delight...
That can break your heart...
With one big swipe...
Without the twinkling...
Sparkle in to ur eye...
The moment you savor...
Will lead your life from danger...

A toddler who came to play..
Grew up the very next day...
A child with a big smile...
Could keep promises for awhile...
A teen with a dream...
Lit up the stars with one big beam..
A young adult with a big heart..
That was always at fault..
A parent to be...
Who's scared of thee...
Child hidden inside me...
A grandparent to be....
Has a world full of glee...
All because of a toddler who came to be...

I wonder...
How you sleep at night...
Knowing what you did...
I wonder....
How do you feel...
Since,  you left me there...
There to die..
Without a tear in your eye....
I wonder...
What was going through ur head....
Was it I wasn't real???
I wonder...
Was I a trash bag u thought u ran over,
A rock,  a glass bottle???
I wonder...
If you know I was only 5...
Would have been 6 on Saturday...
I wonder....
What the rest of my life would be like....
Prom,  college,  having babies of my own...
I wonder....
What would my big sisters become???
How many babies they would have...
What life would have brought them...
I wonder...
Will my mommies heart ever heal???
From the void you left her??
The heart u left shattered...
The guilt u left her with..
That this is all her fault...
I wonder...
Will my daddy ever heal too...
You took away his little girl...
Left him with Guilt too..
I wonder...
What 1st grade would be like....
All the new things I would learn..
What new songs would I get to learn and sing???
What art projects would I make for mommy and daddy???
I wonder...
But,  you took that from me, my family,  my friends,  everyone who loved me...
Those who I haven't yet to meet..
I wonder...
Who I would have grown to be...
How I wonder...
These things I will never get to know..
You took this all from me...
From  my family...
From all those who loved me...
From those who have not yet met me...
I wonder...
Will u ever answer my questions...
Do even care you killed me??
How I wonder??
I wonder...
Wondering is all I have left...
I'm looking down from heaven wondering why you did this...
Wondering is all I can do..
I wonder...
What if I was your daughter??
Would you have walked away too??  
I wonder...
I wonder....

Write by Tina Marie 7/19/2017

Hi my names *****.
I will make your night great
Your walk unstable
Your face flush
Your world upside down

Hi I'm your World
Beautiful and sweet
Caring and strong
Your shoulder to lean on
Your life in whole

It's me again *****
Have you missed me today??
I'm ready to be mixed or drank straight.
I'm ready to turn your World upside down
Like your never thought could happen

Hi again it's me your World
Torn in two
Bleeding from the inside
Crying on the outside
Beaten and weak

It's your WORLD
telling you
***** I ******* HATE YOU
You took so much from me
Turned me too a person I can't stand to be
Took my World made her weak, beaten, shattered
Nothing but a vision
Nothing  but a memory

***** here, drink me up
I will make you feel great
You don't need your World
I'm here to bring you to life
I'm ***** your World now
Love me, drink me
Never forget me
I'm ***** and your all mine now

I took your World and shattered that ***** like she deserved
Made that ***** weak so she couldn't get up
Broke your World so she couldn't step in my way
Beat your World so she couldn't beat me
Your World is no longer sweet and caring
But, a broken piece of glass
Shattered and can't be put back together.

I'm ***** and I just became all you need

I'm your World and you no longer need me.

A part of me died today
A part of me died today
You ripped my heart out from my chest
Stuck a needle in  the left side
Like you knew what you was doing
But, you didn't
You killed the bottom of my heart
Part of me died today
Part of me died today
You took a drink of that *****.
Took a drink and spit out those words
Those words hurt me so
That another part of my heart died today
I tried so  hard to not let it happen
But it died before I could stop it
Stop the hurt from drying up more of my heart
Part of me died today
Part of me died today.
I one day will bring them back to life.
To beat like it once did
But, it's not beating today
My heart that is
Hopefully tomorrow or  week from now
A part of me died today
Right in front of your eyes
A part of me died
As you looked at me with that look
I knew you didn't care
That part of me died today
Part of me died today

Mercy me, Mercy me
Why did fall for you??
Mercy me, Mercy me
Why do I let you hurt me so??
Mercy me,Mercy me
Why can't I let you go??
Mercy leave me be...
Stop bringing me your misery.
I'm finally seeing the light.
Mercy, Mercy, were done here..
I can't love you anymore.
I'm no longer begging you
For your mercy
Mercy your dead to me.

A smile that lights up the room
A laugh that makes me laugh
Kisses so soft you swear your gold
Words so sweet, you wish you could meet
A love so deep
Even a mother's love couldn't compete
A hug So tight
Makes the world seem bright
Your morning kisses make my day bright
Your afternoon love yous make my smile twinkle
Your bed time cuddles
Make my heart tingle with you
For all this makes me know I'm doing something right

I cant bring myself to forgive you.
Although you forgave me for the same thing.
I cant believe the words I heard,
The words that keep changing.
I love you, I really do. But, she had something that night.
That you just couldnt provide.
Real love, real feelings, but you didnt want that..
You wanted a one night stand.
A real woman, something I'm not.
A real woman to lay it down.
Not the one at home .
You wanted to play her game .
While I did the right thing.
A real woman she was that night.
A secret you would never tell.
A moment in ur life u planned on hiding.
Honesty, isn't what I got, I got
A lie after a lie.
All for that moment u had with a real woman.
But, let me tell you the truth.
What you had wasnt a real woman.
I was the real woman.
The real woman you lied to.
The real woman you still push away.
A real woman with real feelings.
What you got was a whoe.
A whoe that thought she was real.
A whoe that was really trash.
While you had the real thing.
Something  so real she wouldn't lay down with a whoe.
A ****** whoe, like her.
So, what am I to do now??
Besides take out the trash.
Put it in the dumpster and move on with my life...
Are forgive you, like you did me?? Although I was completely honest,
Not a lie out my mouth.
Just honesty.
What should I do??
What will I do?? Are the things I ask myself.
While you walk around like nothing .happened.
What should I do??

In life I loved you dearly
In death I miss you everyday
I said I would take care of your family
But, see brother I cant do that
When theirs others who want to push me away
So, I say brother I did my best
I love you  bro and miss the **** outta you
Until we meet again
I love you man

Look at me..
Do you see the pain??
The hate for you??
Fo you see how you hurt me so??
Your words cut like a knife.
Do you care??
I'm drowning in years
Tears you cause
Tears from pain
Tears from caring to much
Words that fade in time
Tears left to hit the floor
Do you see my wasted tears??
Tears for someone who don't care
I most move on
Fix my heart
So I have mo morr trays
No more wasted years
For I have found my worth
And I'm worth more
Than wasted tears.

Truth is your a whoe
A genuine all in deep kind of whoe
I honestly don't know why I fell for a whoe like you
Purity is nothing for you
Your certainly a whoe who keeps entertaining all the boys
Fact is you will never love a real man
You wouldn't know how to respect.my candor
Your that kind of whoe
A whoe who we can't turn into a house wife
Cause who as dont act right
Kinda whoe
Truth is I pray for you
Truth is your a whoe

Little boy Blue where did your smile go
Sweet and pure
Little boy Blue where did your smile go
Perfect as the sun
Bright as the moon
Little boy Blue where did your smile go
Perfect smile with your lip stuck out
When did you turn so blue??

I'm pathetic
I'm not me anymore
I'm a loser
I'm not good enough
I'm not me anynore
I'm the wrong person to be with
I'm a idiot
I'm not me anymore
I'm stupid
I'm lost
I'm. Not me anymore
I'm a lost gurl
In a big world
I'm a lost gurl
In a big world
I'm not me anymore
I'm just some dumb girl
I'm a unwanted soul
I'm a unwanted friend
I'm not me anymore

I see a smile
That's struggling to laugh
A laugh thats struggling to make a giggle,
A giggle that won't bring tears,
Tears that are wanting to run, running tears down her face,
A beauitful face that deserves better
Better than the hand that is dealt
A beauitful face full of pain
Pain that only a beauitful face can hide
Hiding a broken heart
All behind a beauitful face

I promise you
One day without a Doubt
You will be mine

What is death??
Death is end of life
Are we ever ready??
No, we are never ready for death
Some taken to soon, some taken at the wrong time
Left to leave loved ones with questions
Why??
Why so early??
Why so young??
Why couldn't my baby live to see 18??
Why is what were left with??
Broken hearts of whys..
Pain filled hearts with so many unanswered questions
Memories is what's left
Why does death become us??
Why are we scared of the unknown life after death??
What is the after life like??
Why cant someone tell me??
Life after death is it real?
What is death?? You ask
I ask too.
What is death??

Near and far you break my heart
Far and wide u stomp it like theres no regret
Wide and high u take all my breathe
High and low u belittle my love
Low and slow u **** me softly
Slow and fast u make me die
Fast and hard you too me in to
Hard and soft I cry over you
Soft regret I make it known
Regret ever being with you
Ever so lonely
Lonely cause of you.

Little boy blue I see you
Little boy blue your smiling now
Little boy blue ia it really you
Little boy blue your not so blue
Little boy blue your eyes so bright
Little boy blue, there's joy in your sight
Little boy blue is it really you
Little boy blue could it be real the smile you smile
Little boy blue it really is you
I cant believe your happy now, but for how long my little boy blue??
Little boy blue keep smiling and I will too