I sit down with you,
And analyse what makes everything true.
And search for what makes you me,
Cuz you don’t know it yet
But we come from the same problem tree.

I enter the room with you,
And watch what makes you hollow through and through.
And dig to find what makes us the same,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t want you to remain.

I eat with you,
And wonder how we brew the same brew.
And look for what unites us,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t like how we’re on the same bus.

I sleep with you,
And see that you cry what I spew.
And scream for you to leave me,
Cuz you don’t know it yet,
But I don’t like how I’m not free.
Free from you.

Of course I go home with a smile
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’ve grown tired of lying,
Or because my smile has shrunk,
I don’t know why you would say that.
I am fine.

Of course I laugh when you tell a joke
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’ve grown tired of trying,
Or because my laugh is quieter,
I don’t understand your question .
I am fine.

Of course I have over friends,
Why do you ask that?
Is it because I’m almost crying,
Or because I feel better alone,
I don’t see your point.
I’m fine

Of course I spend time outside,
Why would you ask that?
Is it because I act like the world is dying,
Or because I say no to all your invites,
I can’t see where you stand.
I’m fine.

Of course I don’t cut myself
Why would you ask that?
Is it because I only wear hoodies,
Or refuse to take my jacket off,
I don’t understand you.
Im fine

The days grew long,
I wish I had the truth
Instead of going along
And  buying all of your lies

The nights grew short,
I wish I had my friends
Instead of choosing you
And leaving un-cut ends

My eyes grew dry,
I wish I had someone else
Instead I followed you
And closed my door to others

The cuts grew deep,
I wish I could stop
Instead this my only path
And I will walk it alone.

My emotions are like a waterfall
I always drop from a high to a low
But when I look at it. I see beauty
My emotions are beautiful

My emotions are beautiful
They are an art, a skill to learn
But when I see them, I see complexity
My emotions are complex

My emotions are complex
They are a closed system, self-hurting
I’ve close the door to my mind
My emotions are isolated.

My emotions are beautiful
My emotions are complex
My emotions are isolated
My emotions scare me.

Looking at my mirror.
I take half the of what people see
And I feel alive
For once.

I take my stolen goods to school
I run with it and smile
Why does everyone like me
For once.

I take my bought lie to my friends
I run with it and laugh
Why do my friends find me funny
For once.

I take my scars home
I run with it and talk
Why do my parents finally love me
For once.

Why don’t I feel alive
Why don’t I smile
Why don’t I laugh
Why don’t I talk
Why is my perception wrong.
Why do others know me better than I do?

Maybe I don’t feel too good
Because when I look at myself
I only see the darkness
So why are other people blinding?

Maybe I don’t feel to well
Because when I question myself
I only find the worst answers
So why does everyone else has a cheat sheet?

Maybe I don’t know anymore
Because I have a knot in my stomach
And it never goes away
So why does everyone feel so good?

Maybe I don’t feel happiness
Because I lost all feeling long ago
And only try to feel pain
So why do you have love?

Maybe I want to die
Because I feel like that I’m not good enough
But that’s just a lie
I just want to leave everyone else.

I walk into my room
Head down, feeling lost
I can’t explain it,
I’m alone in a crowd

I look at the mirror
Eyes lock, searching deep
I can’t explain it,
I find nothing there

I look at my glass
Head up, wobbling arms
I can’t explain it,
I’m lost to the colours

I cry into my pillow
Eyes closed, screaming silent
I can’t explain it,
It’s my last friend

I look at my wrist
Thoughts racing,heart pacing
It’s all bare
But today is not the day.

I can’t explain it.