They nurture their community,
Ensuring that they won't abandon them,
Money is what they need,
Greed they never have enough of,
We believe in structure and order,
Without order there is nothing,
So we make the commandments,
Set the people straight,
And keep their ***** minds in check,
We will never break apart,
Give us your money,
More,
There are less people, why?
Who knows, give me more to compinsate for their abandonment,
Don't follow the others you'll have no friends,
You'll go to hell,

We build the society of the imperfect finally perfected,
The immortal spirited body,
A kiss of life,
Follow these 10 laws or be punished by discrimination in the church,
Make sure to spread the word to the hopeless and imperfect,
Give money,
But not to much to become imperfect,
Be humble in your greed,
Eat the bread that you sow for yourself,
Drink the wine mixed with water,
Don't forget to pretend that it's holy,
When the man speaks make sure to listen,
He'll instruct you about the revolution.

All of my new personal poems were inspired by my sister,
She won't read any of them though. Anyway I still experience these things but on a molecular level compared to her and she inspires me to write about how things effect me.
So thanks sis....
(I don't know why I'm adding this because she's not going to read it anyway).

It's 2 a.m.here in Calgary,
I'm sitting on my bed thinking,
I have an English quiz today,
I studied for it,
But of course my anxiety has to come along,
I'm thinking of all the possible outcomes and future of either passing or failing the test,
The numbers so far 5:129
(No don't worry the 129 is the failure side, I told you so that you don't have to ask which ones which),
It's 2 a.m. and I have come up with 134 possible outcomes of this test and my parents make me take sleeping pills that I dump in the toilet,
I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks,
But I'm still thinking tossing and turning physically and mentally,
Then you wonder why do you have to continue this way,
Then this depression thing comes in and makes my anxiety worse,
Causing a melt down.

It's 2:01 a.m.

What are we doing America,
Why do we try to hate others,
We destroy everything leaving nothing left,
We throw guns and people around like it's a game,
Seeing who can get more of its people killed in a day,
Yet when it comes time to convict someone for their actions we draw a blank,
We move on unable to even accept  that people in our own borders  could assist in such atrocities,
But as we point an angry finger across the world,
We don't consider what we have done inside our own country,
Maybe we need to understand that things aren't so perfect here after all,
Maybe we should consider fixing problems at home before we go masecuring another country.

If only I was different,
Would I finally fit in,
If only I was what you wanted,
Would you love me,
If only I could understand,
Would you regard me as me,
If only I normal,
Could you let me live a normal life,
If only I was clean,
Would you reach out your hand,
If only I could be perfect,
Would you understand that I'm not,
If only I could find who I am,
Would you believe that I found me,
If only I left,
Would you realize what I felt,
If only I lived long enough,
Would you finally realize my potential,
What I could have been.

I sit here wearing my perfection suit,
Crying for no understandable reason,
But society doesn't see this,
I cry behind my suit,
Inside my secret world,
In a deserted island,
With shores so high there is no rocket that could reach the land,
With an impenetrable castle,
Inside a small room in the centre,
I sit here hidden from society and I cry,

I cry scared of the judgements filled into my tiny ****** life,
I get up wondering why,
I go to bed staying awake digging a hole of thought to tomorrow,

"But you don't have depression" They convince me for another day,
I'll stay up tonight drawing blood with a pencil,
Writing down my imperfections on my skin,,
If my parents see they assume I'm just copying the rest of society,

So I try to wear my perfection suit,
I'm finding it hard when thoughts are everywhere,
Even with the loudest of music doesn't work anymore,

Bridges scare me now every time I step on one my gears in my head start spinning,
I throw up over the railings unable to hold my emotions in,
I run home as my depression grows and begins tearing my perfection suit apart,
All of those people staring at me,
Judging me and my imperfections,

I run across the street hoping,
Empty,
I run on faster getting rid of the joy of ending it all today,
I run into my house and up to my room,
Alone,

The doctor hands me pills,
I take the bottle and as I leave I place it back on the counter,
So mush me with drugs, therapy, yoga, dance, you can't make my disease go away,
It has infected me,
I am stained with thoughts that will never go away,
So to whom ever tries to "minimize" depression,
Leave them be you only make them think deeper every time you say a word.