Hopefully I will graduate from high school,
Hopefully I will go to college,
Hopefully I will go to university,
Hopefully I will go into phycology,
Hopefully I will have a girlfriend,
Hopefully I might get married,
Hopefully I might have kids,
Hopefully I can stop drinking,
Hopefully I can get my kids back,
Hopefully I can get my wife back,
Hopefully I can get her for what she's done,
Hopefully, Hopefully,
Hopefully I can get out of jail,
Hopefully my kids can forgive me,
Hopefully I haven't missed out to much,
Hopefully I can make some money,
Hopefully I can support myself,
Hopefully I can quit drinking,
Hopefully I can stop drinking,
Hopefully I can end my drinking,
What is hope?

I just spoke with my mother,
She is helpful when she doesn't talk about me,
When she talks about me its on how funny I am that I mess up so easily,
On how funny my disability is,
On how funny it is that I don't get something that a "normal" kid would get,
On what a 9 year old gets and I don't,
On how much I can't do,
On telling me what I can't do because I can't adapt,
On telling me why I can't do something when I don't want to hear it because I always know why,
On what's basic knowledge of a 2 year old I still don't have,
So I talked to my mom today and I feel a lot better about myself.

I am a puppy small and free,
At least in my cage that is,
I run around my cage all day content with the circles I make,
"Get out Get Out " people tell me,
I don't because I am content with running in circles stuck in my cage of independence,
I whimper when my parents speak to me,
I cry to be let out,
But I am content with running in circles stuck in my cage of independence,
I want to get out but what would I do after that.

I have power in my mind,
Ideas that would blow the world away,
I have visions that would change the world,
I think for the thought of others,
I have power in my mind,
But to say what I think,
What visions that I see,
What ideas I have,
Is not possible because of fear of my stupidity.

"Mommy,Daddy!" I scream my parents come rushing in,
"There's a monster under my bed!"
My parents role their eyes,
"I swear it's here, just look!" I say
"There's no such thing as monsters." My parents say,
"Just look please!"
""Fine" my dad looks under the bed and says
"Come look, see there are no monsters."
I look under my bed and see a mirror and the monster looking at me,
My dad screams as he looks in the mirror I am the monster that sleeps under my bed.

For doctors to think that you have suicidal tendencies they often rely on extreme factors  such as suicidal attempts etc.
I am depressed,
Thoroughly depressed,
Some days I feel suicidal and I start thinking about it,
But just think,
You become happy (for a second) as you realize that the world won't have to **** you along anymore,
This is my state of suicidal depression.

Living is for the happy,
Dying is for the not,
But lying gets us nowhere,
So trying to be happy is like dying on the inside,
Trying to stay afloat in an ocean of depressing things.