They tell me to find someone less broken,
     For I knew you were broken,
            when you tried to break me,
                  but I stayed - 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝑜𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓈𝓉.

To you, gardener,
of flowers under oozing rays of honey.
Who in your memory helped bloom,
vibrant beauty, so absent from this summer.

To you, gardener,
who gives colors from yellow, blue, green and red Hughes.
which explode like a choir amongst the rocks and air.
in your explosive tune, that your dove,
vessel of posthumous beauty, takes flight.

For you, who helped him bloom!
That took him out of the dark,
as you turned a bud into a flower,
coal into a diamond,
a babe into an eagle.

For you, after that one night.
Left him in solitude, as you dreamed amongst the stars.
For you, sweet gardener, unleashed his celestial voice,
as he searched amongst the thorns of time and space.
crying, begging, pleading for reunification.

He forgot the stars,
  he lost his spark,
      he danced for the night,
          as he begged, pleaded, lost in flight
                   praised and saddened by your glory,
like you sweet gardener, I want to raise a flower,
  watch it bloom, watch it sing, watch it soar,
          but never leave it alone. . .

I wake to your words,
   I dream of your thoughts,
       I cry for your struggles from afar,
You are everything and in between.
   Until we meet again,
             my dear old friend.

Don't ever question,
      my heart; that beats only for you.
You write about heartbreak, always dejected,
    each word, each stanza, each tear, on tattered paper.

Just know,
    I can't erase love; for grief is human desire.
Nonetheless,
  I will pick you off the ground,
     and say "I love you"

_______

𝓓𝓸𝓷'𝓽, 𝓽𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮.
   𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓶𝔂 𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓭,
     𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓵 𝓘 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯.

I am back from my psychodelia adventure,
amongst the cosmos, with solar winds
which carry me upon constellations engrained with your art.
- Gas, light and nebulae explosions-
I have touched the cosmos of my own insanity,
      and lived through its silence.
Now I lay awake,
  clinging to drugs, hoping to love . . .
like the one who loves from afar. . .

I see you in the stars,
by the shadows of my back.
   reflections in your image, holding on to hope.
     I look at my pores, impregnated by tears of sorrow.
       Of an ancient tune, of nurtured love that has yet to bloom.
          For until we meet again, dust is what you are.
            My body is your coffin, an instrument for you heartbeat.

Sometimes we don't need reminders,
      we just crave a friend free of judgement,
           so we talk to our 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂?
    When I live in past glory. . .
           past loves . . .
                past friendships. . .
clinging to hope. . .
  pulled by your chains,
      I am a slave.

Will leaving you be good for me?
    I look in the mirror,
           I don't recognize myself
                I am reduced to nothingness,

Will you be in someones arms tonight?
     I lay, the sun rises.
          My heart breaks,
             I am nothing.

Take me back to you,
   ensnare me,
           love me,
      Never let me go.

In love with what I can't have,
    I reach out in the night,
             under cosmic oceans
                    over ferocious seas,
                       drowning in these tears,
                                                I beg for more. . .
drawn together. . .
          in this deadly, broken, lovely ℂ𝕦𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅
                 - forever in love

and the fallen
   rays
of sunshine that ooze,

pale
to your light,
and your warmth.

𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇,
   𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓯    
              𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊
                                         𝓸𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽
                                            & 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷

𝒲𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓊𝓅𝑜𝓃 𝒶 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇,
    𝒶 𝓂𝒶𝓅 𝑜𝒻 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒
       𝓉𝒾𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒹𝑜 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁
               𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓊𝓅𝑜𝓃 𝒶 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇
                                 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮

You who never tires, who is always there.
    
You who never lies, who always tells the truth.

You who loves unconditionally, who I seek to replicate.

You who is always there, who I run for your embrace.

You who ages, who I miss everyday.

You are the sadness of my soul,
   the reflection in the mirror,
      a reminder that you are gone.
         Let me sleep until we meet again.
                  -𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

I don't need imagery, millions of words or rhyme schemes.
        You
           &
              Me
-𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓁𝓁

Can you hear it? Can you feel it.
   each bump, each boom.

Do you want to feel this feeling? Take my hand.
   Listen to angelic songs, travel my turbulent sea.

Do you feel it? This sickness.
  Each stroke, Each mark, Each words, Each Song.

It will never be enough, to express this feeling.
  No poet, no genius, no artist can express this desire.

Take my hand,
   suffer, lost in unnatural congenital thoughts.
      trying to say - " I love you"

White, simply just white.
  Black; simply just black.

Each stroke,  pleasure and sorrow,
   wanting like a sea among rocks to convulse in your arms.
jasmine? daisy? roses? scents without syllable.
   used, tattered, licked wax; soft strokes, shivers to touch.

what is this feeling?
    Longing, unsatisfying,
       so short, I WANT MORE.
          Lost in your sea, lost to your waves, lost to your rage,
              I WANT MORE.
                  send more; oh god.
                      please, oh please.
                           I want ｍｏｒｅ

Count the leaves as they fall,
    brown, gone, dead.  
       I dream of LA,
          under hot warm rain.
𝓴𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰
             𝓹𝓪𝓵𝓶 𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓼
𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓯𝓾𝓵
            𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮

you and me once more,
   🄳🅁🄴🄰🄼🄸🄽🄶

Lose myself in the tide of my own emotion,
    𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈
Lose myself to my own trepidation
          𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈
Lose myself to range and anger
                  𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈
Lose myself to words of hurt and regret
                         𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈, 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈
I lose myself to their 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈
   I am not deranged, nor crazed for dreaming of 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱
     for in 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱 we reunite 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷

I guess its funnier when he tells the joke. . .
   I must have missed the punch line. . .

I guess its better when he smiles. . .
   I must come off as desperate. . .

I guess its not boring when he talks. . .
   I must make you lose patience. . .


𝐼 𝒶𝓂
   n𝑜𝓉 j𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓈
      𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓱𝓲𝓶

My depression is a state of craving eternal sleep.
   but in a constant hypnagogia's state.
Every night I cry and die, and in my eyes,
   all I see is you, in all life's glory.
   all I see is you, in all death's torment.

Trapped in enteral song,
     of 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

Mysterious Vivacious Bud,
   with a thorny cold exterior.
Beauty that blooms once a century,
   Beauty that hides behind painful thorns,
Untouched, Undirtied, Protected, Pure, Strong
   plant that bleeds heavens nectar,
Liquid ecstasy. . . a one stop trip to heaven,
     My sweet 𝙰𝚐𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙰𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚊

Salt breeze in the air, whimsical mornings.
   poor mans coffee, money clearly lacking.

Take my hand its alright, four feet in the sand.
young lovers, sunshine and waves. .

not a 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒
     in the 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹
       poor but in 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒

We count down days until virtual reality,
       in the meantime we have poetry where I can . . .
                     𝓈𝑜𝒶𝓇
𝒷𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒
                 𝒷𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒾𝒻𝓊𝓁
𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂
                  & 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒

Because it is not part of the game. . .
     -🅅🅁 🄳🅁🄴🄰🄼🄸🄽🄶

The box cutter on the floor, mute body.
    metallic divinity odors the nose, silence speaks volumes.

Little pink bird, in a dull bluebird world.
     invisible cages, glaring eyes of inconformity.

Little pink bird, let out your voice, soar!
   Only to be met with resentment and scorn. . .

being different is beauty,
   but all you found was scorn.
     now they ask "why" but,
         -silence spoke volumes
             now you are safe in his arms
                be free and ıllıllı ŜｏＡ𝓡 ıllıllı

My gift to you, our memories that bring pain.

For in him. . .
    You will see me. . .

For in him. . .
    You will see us. . .

For in him. . .
     You will smell morning cups of coffee. . .

For in him. . .
     You will see our passion filled nights. . .

For in him. . .
      You will smell the odor of my skin. . .

Even after years have passed, it will be subtle.
       For in him, you will always see me.
          no happy ending, no escape.
             - you will always see me
                   even subtly , part of you is mine. . .

I'm sorry, for pain.

I'm sorry, for the rage.

I'm sorry, for feeling innate.

I'm sorry, for the mistakes.

For in your divine perfume,
   I am a little man, but a little man,
       who caged you.
          In you, I saw me,
              Each mistake a rosy chorus of mockery,
                     Forgive me.
                          -𝐹𝓁𝓎. . . 𝐵𝑒 𝐹𝓇𝑒𝑒

Sleep my beloved, upon the field of stars.
    Ardent and bright, in the nothingness that awaits.
______________
I hear your whispers upon my heart,
   I hear its beating in response,
     I laugh and I cry at the same time,
         in this pleasure grief but endures,
             but my happiness lasts unchanged
______________
Sleep my beloved, hear my lullaby.
in the nothingness of the cosmos, paint me a sign upon constellations
-Towards our future meeting,
     unaware, we are already there
        for in you my soul dies,
              and my heart sleeps.

I loved you, until you left.
  My soul weeps, and my heart breaks always knowing.
                - 𝗶 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗱𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲

Tears will not stop the sun from rising,
      time from passing, or your heart learning to forget.
                                  -𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮

Solitude becomes a choir,
  An illuminating echo that turns into a horrid cacophony.
        Harsh reminder of a dreamer who could not dream,
                    A painter who could not paint . . .  
                          A singer who could not sing . . .
                                Come and calm this song, Come and save me,
                                     From this anxiety, that steals the value of my life.  
__________________
Fi­reworks explode, they color your eyes.
     Do not sing, do not paint, do not dream, simply write.

Artistry cannot erase desire.
   But it can fuel your fire and desire.

Let each stroke, give you sensations.
   Of my hand on yours, a state of warmth and delight.

Nonetheless when you suffer,
      And beg for “HELP!” know.
                I am never.
                         -𝐟𝐚𝐫

I feel. . .
  The cool autumn breeze.

I hear. . .
  The swaying of thunderous palm tree's.

I smell. . .
  Cheap fields of flowers from your perfume.

I taste. . .
  The bittersweet ocean that mocks me.

I am. . .
   waiting
      -▌│█║▌║▌║ Ⓐ𝕃ⓞ𝔫€ ║▌║▌║█│▌

You are a vision of ecstasy, unobtainable divinity.
       Beauty so bright, it mocks the universe.

Cosmic light so blinding, unbelievable sight.
    Beauty so fabricated, I must be asleep.

Held out my hand, love at first sight.
    There is no warmth, only silence.
         -g̶o̶o̶d̶b̶y̶e̶

We write about heartbreak, a state of depression.
      each stroke, each page turning.

We write about happiness, a state of delusion
      as if artistry could erase, human desire.

Nonetheless,
  we suffer and lie to mask the words.
           - " I love you"

Each poem is a window into your past, present and something more.
    Rays of honey pour from your pen,
       Words of Stars that thrill and enamor sensibility,
          The moon which radiates off your poetic sea,
                 creative, unending and raging,
                       like the words that radiate through every cell,
                           from the sound of your little caged birds.
                                   My sweet poetic friend.

Writing of Alfonsina Storni in a modern age,
    a reminder of sweet may morning,
           cafe con leche  in the air,
               a tepid wistfulness,
                    such sweet,
whimsical beauty.

In a perfect evening,
  blossoms sorrow.
    a feeling innate,
        to a soul so broken.
           peering upon your waxy eyelids,
                I squeezed treacherously,
                       a reminder of pain,
                             inflicted on me,
                                  cruel fate,
                                         the
                                     monster
                                          became
                                                me

You know what,
    I love you
      so cuff me,
        draw the line,
           use me,
             don't respect me
                for I yearn for your touch

the stars cry,
threads
that weave and reveal
your face.

My pride was the lingering smell on your skin,
Day by day, step by step you paraded my scent.
   My heart, mind, body and soul remained engrained in your skin,
         until my vial was empty, and you moved on to the next scent.