My depression is a state of craving eternal sleep.
   but in a constant hypnagogia's state.
Every night I cry and die, and in my eyes,
   all I see is you, in all life's glory.
   all I see is you, in all death's torment.

Trapped in enteral song,
     of 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

Mysterious Vivacious Bud,
   with a thorny cold exterior.
Beauty that blooms once a century,
   Beauty that hides behind painful thorns,
Untouched, Undirtied, Protected, Pure, Strong
   plant that bleeds heavens nectar,
Liquid ecstasy. . . a one stop trip to heaven,
     My sweet 𝙰𝚐𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙰𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚊

Salt breeze in the air, whimsical mornings.
   poor mans coffee, money clearly lacking.

Take my hand its alright, four feet in the sand.
young lovers, sunshine and waves. .

not a 𝒸𝒶𝓇𝑒
     in the 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹
       poor but in 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒

Yes, I dream, I live, I wander afield
    lost under starry sky's, interweaved in stormy sea
Lost in fascinations of a declining mind.

Yes, I dream- lost to past thoughts
    I hold the stars, conquer the waves of my own mental damnation. . .  
& yet - from past memories there is no escape. . . past touch, past scents I FALL APART for, you set off this dream in me,
       but its a dream, that is all it will be
                           -A Dream

We count down days until virtual reality,
       in the meantime we have poetry where I can . . .
                     𝓈𝑜𝒶𝓇
𝒷𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝑒
                 𝒷𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒾𝒻𝓊𝓁
𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂
                  & 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒

Because it is not part of the game. . .
     -🅅🅁 🄳🅁🄴🄰🄼🄸🄽🄶

The box cutter on the floor, mute body.
    metallic divinity odors the nose, silence speaks volumes.

Little pink bird, in a dull bluebird world.
     invisible cages, glaring eyes of inconformity.

Little pink bird, let out your voice, soar!
   Only to be met with resentment and scorn. . .

being different is beauty,
   but all you found was scorn.
     now they ask "why" but,
         -silence spoke volumes
             now you are safe in his arms
                be free and ıllıllı ŜｏＡ𝓡 ıllıllı

My gift to you, our memories that bring pain.

For in him. . .
    You will see me. . .

For in him. . .
    You will see us. . .

For in him. . .
     You will smell morning cups of coffee. . .

For in him. . .
     You will see our passion filled nights. . .

For in him. . .
      You will smell the odor of my skin. . .

Even after years have passed, it will be subtle.
       For in him, you will always see me.
          no happy ending, no escape.
             - you will always see me
                   even subtly , part of you is mine. . .