It’s hard to be taken away by thought
A predecessor heir to life chapters
embracing facts all at once

Facing the enormous glutton
masticating a heart
like a licorice treat

Wasting away
Wasting away
Wasting away

The madness is gone yet
I felt like I haven’t
been here before
the times went
from good to
bad

It seems we are all
like arms; weary
of holding still
in front of
the never
ending
slog

We kiss and we hug
until we’re
tempted to
bite one
another

We wished for an adventure
from the howling of the
cold rainy wind inside
a tavern where we
thought all will
be cozy until
everything
comes
back
to

normal

to almost succumbing to the heaviest
darkness that we ever felt deep
inside our heaviest breaths
like it’s a couple of our
last ones

You are a warrior, capable
of thinking above as you
see through many and I
will tell you the secret
that was there for a
very long time:

Never lose your grip for
the best people who
ever walked the
preliminaries
of hell all fell
down to
hell.

lover, i am not sure if the name suits you today.
you are not the only one;
our encounters tastes like paper.

it's hard to admit once in a while,
i know.
remember i have a soul too.
i'm amazed to see you alright lover
for you are not the one who is getting smaller
every single day.

your overbearing will make me stop
if you don't stop.

“Never leave your enemy winning without something
to groan about
in other words,
never go down without a fight
even if you only have your raw will left
to fight.”

what is it about fighting that makes some of us
want to win so badly like it’s God’s next big throne?

winning isn’t permanent, today you’re ahead
with three days up and the next day you
value the remaining seconds you have.

it’s always about winning
and nobody wants to fight;
end the fight.

I fight because survival isn’t the reason.
I fight for all daily reasons
and not one of them is winning.

I just want to finish whatever the
end may seem to be

It never hurts to see your colleagues
10 stairs up and never looking down,
just keep on reaching whatever they may
find on the top and what lies above the finish
but then I must continue to fight along with
these regular-sized rabid dogs and our leash
is about to unfold:

There is no paradise for us and we
made a pledge that we’re God’s unwanted
children like what we heard from “Fight Club”
it all makes sense to us and none of us
is you.

Fight not to survive.
Fight because you are born for it and is
good for it and if you don’t,
you’re no different from the others.

once i was proud to have it all over my sight,
these right words that fits each rhyme.
and after the consecutive strings she pulled,
i felt it wearing me out.

but first
let me tell you something anyone can relate to:

everyone goes through a tight relationship
on their youthful days and those were the days
life does its part best;
it lets you feel something to keep,
gives you a lot of memories you never
thought you had.

well, the only trail that leads me to it
is smiling about it, skipping all the bad parts
and focusing on to the best moments.

after a couple of years,
it completely disappeared
and today, i feel no trace of the past
and my words are no different than
train stations and traffic jams
but i'm with someone new now
and i guess it is never too late
to take a chance with the current.

our romance began when nobody
wanted to start one
i remember it like it was a while ago
on a day when the leaves were yellow
and the times suggested
parks that are far away from the road.

my heart felt something
and it remembers
in a quite unfamiliar sense.

it is just like the first time in a long time to
witness the sunrise again in this dull life
the wind blew. . .
and changed its direction

i followed it and i knew it’s
that time again.

there was no way to tell
if it was the same before
but to splash my frail body in there
for a leap of faith

but i was sure though seemingly different,
i convinced myself
it was going to be all worth it.
and when it was about to happen,
i didn’t give admission to my doubts.

as

i played the bull
on a rampage
to be killed
for its desire.

it made me forget the pain of
the thousand scrapes and wounds
of trust
i succumbed into
for what seemed
like many years
and you were there,
                  
                   you
        
       came;

you
      
      found
                  
                 me.

what words do i need to put here next?
o yeah right, i just lost an argument today
and i didn't bother speaking out my stand.

speak out what?
speak about how ****** my life
is turning out to be?

i was late at work today
because of the ****** traffic enforcers who
delayed my travel because of their
incompetency on handling the ****** up
traffic
and funny; they make a living out of my taxes.

my fingers wants to explode,
my fists wants to punch a hole out of thin air.
this frustration can't even take a shape of a ball
and so it goes ******* my head all day

is it fair to say i'm doing my best every
single ******* day just to make it through the fire?

bukowski, i imagine your ghost
but i can't tell what would be your reaction.

maybe you'll ignore me like those desperate
writers from the past who sent you their poems
you ignored unless it was a fuckable *****.

you don't give a **** for what matters most to you is
how well you walk through the fire.

i am walking through the fire.
every day.
every cigarette.
every breath.
every dump.
every ****.

*frustration at its finest

March 2008
I found my legs shaking
trembling before my schoolmates
somewhere
I hid it under the table, under the first
bottle of Generoso, yes, so local you puke with hate

There with me is the formidable lesbian
I fell so badly in love with back then
at first I knew coming along was a bad idea
but let me tell you, first times are as fickle
as those ******* your **** got used to

and yeah, the first drink of the grape
straightened my frightened legs
gave me courage
but no, it’s not what you think it is

I snubbed her all the way
that is right
after she got a little bit tipsy in the middle
and told me how she’s gonna tell her
big brother that she’s gonna get herself
a boy friend

and more fellow schoolmates came
most of them look up to irrelevant
people like Tupac, Snoop and whoever
it is that can speak fast on drugs.

we reached the denouement
of the unplanned gathering
I wasn’t able to handle myself
for I was ******* everyone off.

three of them even tried to gang up on me
but the tides sided with me
as Deo who almost died last year
sent me home.

my father was so ******* furious
when he first saw, smelled and heard
his son drunk
it was a replica in progress.