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99 · Aug 2022
Prayer
thank You God hold my hand
while i sleep and misunderstand
thank You God i Love You
while i try to Love me too
thank You God don't go away
the sun hangs heavy on my face today
thank You God for making it rain
for giving us a little light and pain
for changing everything and causing us pain
thank You God for my being rock
if You changed i, might die of shock
thank You God, for food and shoes
thank You God, for helping me see
it's okay i'm imperfectly me
thank You God, for always being
without You what, would i be seeing
thank You God, for my daydreams
for wildflowers and sonic youth and cold machines
thank You God, for everything bad
and showing me there's good, in everything bad
thank You God, for perfection and beauty
and the beauty in imperfect rhymes
thank You God thank You God God thank You
thank You God for making everything/so funny i could die laughing at anything/thank
You i love You i love love love i You i Love You
i Love You I Love You I I I I Love
Thank You God Thank You Love God You Love Love Love
97 · May 2020
sissy
im sorry that i hurt you
i wish i could walk away from me
im sorry that you're sad all the time
i wish i could dissect myself
cause then i could be a better scientist
and a lover too
88 · Dec 2023
Untitled
Today I barely used my phone and just had time to sit and daydream and reminisice and it was nice
I've been afraid that daydreaming is a terrible, escapist sin wherein I romanticise and hence dehumanise people
but today daydreaming just felt nice
Leah told me to publish this so I did! Checkmate writers block!
85 · Jan 2022
Something Beautiful
My whole life I've felt disconnected from people
Sort of like I'm trying to communicate behind a panel of glass
But I never really make it
I'm just watching from the outside
While everybody else gets to live
And I don't think I ever will understand others
But I dont really mind
I'm quite content in here.
huell
huell
83 · Jun 2023
Nervous Ambivalence
How little we know of what there is to know
My head is filled with the aching hollowness of wanting
I know, I’ve always known that beauty doesn’t mean anything
Unless you can share it
Lying in your lap, like a thread in the golden light
The future is yours, and the present is mine,
And the present
Well, it's not all that it might be
The afternoon sun sets feebly, casting a nebulous glow
We bathe in ghostly shadows
And when the sun sinks, we open all the windows
Nothing on the hillside but a shiny bed of lights
Our hands touching, as we listen to music together
The fuzzy voices rattling the dust on the linoleum
We might just be okay together
Whispering I love you in nervous ambivalence
And telling each other about our *** dreams.
66 · Feb 2022
Wiedersehen
somewhere between always and never
in an abstract space like a dark tunnel
a mosquito buzzes low
you're leaned back on your pillow
blanket outstretched on the pale green
looking up at a sky with no stars
country music plays softly from your radio
but there's nothing to hear
you reach into your back pocket
and pull out a portrait of mona lisa
with gum catering to her face
and sticking to your painted fingernails
smoke drifts softly off the orchards and ambient conversations  
there's empty tension as you hear the clink
of the wine glasses being passed around
silvery flowers are shivering in the empty moonlight
you're having a daydream while someone's talking
i think you're dreaming about a crow
its tracing your movements while you're walking
stomping across wet plants and muddy grass
and puddles in the road in yellow raincoats and dyed hair
holding mushrooms and butterflies
these soft discussions that go nowhere
are a backdrop for black and white images that mean nothing
you could catch a handful of rain as it trickles down
like a drop sliding down the side of a cup
you could empty that handful of rainwater
spread it out on the grass like
coins and diamonds layered on a glass table
you could be intertwined with your lover on the blanket
letting your whispers tickle each others ears
while the music from the radio plays skeleton keys
and dead notes
soon, your arm resting across a lover's chest
will taste the stinging warmth of the sun
as it breaks the morning sky into a million parts
and then you'll have to deal with the lazy poetic
imagery of the new day
bees will hum against the dew coloured flowers
hazy orange heat melting into mirages
will reflect off car windows
and burn your feet on the inky black tar
and you'll have to stare at the hearts etched into legs
so to all the ceiling fans that stopped spinning a long time ago
your friends raise a glass and say
"hello never
how may i be of assistance
it seems to me you've lost something
i would like to help you find it"
the skies are darker than usual and the clouds are greyer
the sunlight is warmer and friendlier
the green is wet
words and dialogues are more abstract than ever.
plants are playing in the suburban boredom
the pool is sunburned

there's a ladybug on your leg.
say goodnight to it while you still have the chance.
these visions of Johana are all that remain
60 · Jul 11
A Backwards Poem
Sometimes words have two meanings.
So listen close because
The wide path leads to a cliff’s edge
But nobody ever told me
I could get away with being tempted
When I was younger, I thought
But now that I’m older, I do
Never thought I’d be on my knees for you
Accepting whatever you ask me to
I believe in
My complete destruction, my sins piling up
Wash away the faith I thought I had
This moment is all I need
I believe in you
I’m not afraid of going to hell anymore.
A bustle in your hedgerow. A hedgerow in your hedgerow. Bustle. Buss buss it baby
58 · Aug 2023
A love poem
Dishes on your counter
***** clothes in your room
Lock the door laughing
Thinking about mushrooms

Cameras and vinyl records
Screens glow in the dark
Walks together til sunset
Mirages in the park

Laying on your floor
Light passing through
We could shut the curtains
Watch cartoons til 2

Sipping hot chocolate
Car wash café blues
Ladder to infinity
Voice says, "Hand me screws"

Evening shadow ambiance
Voices talk in chorus
Birthday candle fellowships
Time won't wait for us

Born back unceasing
Waves crashing on sand
Who cares that love fleeting
Let me take you all by the hand
for a lot of different people

— The End —