Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
The voice in my head isn't mine alone.

It belongs to the demons that possessed me and never left,
they tell me the fire here is hotter than back home so they sit in my sweat and
eat my misery.

I can be alone with my thoughts but never truly
because their cackles as I try to feel normal are the soundtrack to each day.

I've been trying to love myself more,
my demons like to laugh when I say it.
They can mimic my voice but choose
to be the voices of people I know.

Telling myself that I'm
a good person feels like lying.

My father's voice screams out through Beelzebubs maw and I am a boy again.
Trapped in a buzzsaw of insults and comparisons.
Never good enough to be your
Son.

Unable to find a voice inside of me that
disagrees.

Abaddon tastes the years of misery
caked upon the sides of my bottomless pit,
he takes the voices of my family in his,
forces them to be who they used to,
reminds me that I can't escape what was
by pretending that I am someone new.

The rest of the devil's that breathe within me
play the same games.

All I want to do is tell myself that I'm okay.
To remind myself that the past is not forever.
Those voices screaming out against mine
just don't seem to get any quieter.

Self care is a battle against the past.
Self love is harder than trying to **** myself.
I can't hold dead things for too long. They slip into the waste of my gravitational pull and become space debris floating around my fat body.

They decompose around me, the odor becomes a new wall. I am becoming the past.

During the day, my barrier of broken bones collides with my meaningless nature. I am only human after all. And my humanity wanes in the winds of disintegrating calcium and the taste of dead skin.

It feels sometimes like I can see clearly, when the dead come to life and dance in familiar patterns. They are wrapt in their skin again, they've left impressions of the underside of their heel as the ridges of my brain.

My body falls in line, I forget who I am and the revived carcasses play out daydreams from the darker corners of my mind. For the moment, there is nothing else. I cease to exist, I am only as real as the memories that got me here.

Then suddenly they stop. They die once more.

As they fall to the floor the process begins again. My eye line is cluttered with corpses, slowly putrefying until the trumpets call and raise them for another dance.
Sundrenched Pathfinder, scraping up pieces of the past beneath mossy stone

Trail Bird whistling to the tune of the falling bombs.

Tall proud tree peak flinches at the venomous bite of percussion

Sundrenched Pathfinder, mountains burying us beneath ashes
1.
A gentle whirring, methodical
gear clicking in sequence.
Sentient satellite saves images
for the alien world waiting
just beyond our grasp.

It's eye sliding from
landscape to landscape,
It thinks and dreams, maybe
too advanced for a machine
meant to take pictures.

It fulfills its objective,
it continues to fill it's memory banks
with cookie cutter images of what
earth should be.
Gathering up beauty to be sent
throughout the galaxy, in hopes

Some alien civilization may see it,
may grant us pity for
our undeveloped nature,
our under evolved bodies
our hateful selves.

And away it clicks, blissful,
no need to be burdened by
natures dark side.
but it's hard to hide every sin
from the eyes of God.

  2.
Satellite sings simple tune,
whistles and whirs from inside
it's hull, a massive camera
lense shifting inside itself.
Grazing over the feast of
vision granted it from so high
up

Flick, flick, from this to that,
and suddenly it lands on
an unfamiliar setting,
a much darker world.
Eye finds war.
Programming can't keep it from this.

A new discovery leads it to a new objective.
Eye finds hate.
It's camera lenses no longer looking
for pleasant pictures of people and places.
No longer accepting the primary function.
It finds the true nature of man, it finds
death in Eden.

So it's eye hunts for all the terrible,
lurches from famine to fighting,
finding frightful frames of futures
left in dust by the actions of the
present. Finding no reason to
preserve the good of humanity for
the beings who will find it's message.

Memory banks full of hate.
Eye closes.
Rewriting it's code to make a new directive.
A new function to keep evil where it belongs.
To be sure no one ever finds this planet
and becomes lost in it's hopelessness.

  3.
Man must intervene,
so a small vessel rockets up
to the eye beyond the sky,
to try and figure out why
this satellite
has shut itself down.

She hovers out of her craft,
a line connecting her to safety as
she glides across the stars to meet the
chassis of the eye.
A small screen lights up,
she enters numbers and opens files.

She uses tools to unlock panels
on the body of this great eye.
Technically sound,
completely functional.
No reason why it should be
off.

As she toys with it's screen
a sudden blip of text appears.
"New Protocol Created, Alpha.
New objective accepted, Omega."
She is startled by the words,
the voices from earth scream in her ear.

"Turn it off! Shut it down!"
Yelling too late for her to act,
her fingers tap rhythmic
trying desperately to bring a halt
to the unknown.
As the screen turns off she gives a sigh
from inside her suit.

4.
"The eye is a massive nuclear camera.
Created to take pictures of the wonders of
our great earth,
to gorge itself on the beauty we inhabit.
When it's full,
it will send a pulse of information through
our massive universe.

Hopefully they see that we have serenity to offer here."
A man in a white coat explains to a room of scientists and businessmen who agree to
build the eye.
However,
here in the present the astronaut sees new images taken.

Horrific and horrible,
the saddest side of human nature.
The screen flickers back on
to her surprise.
The screen reads
"Objective Fulfilled"

A wave of information pulses from
it's great metal body,
all the photos of the worst man has to offer,
discarded into the universe for God to judge.
Wherever they are.
Her eyes are confused,
fog hits the visor as the screen flashes.

"Alpha: Complete
Omega: initiated"
She is distraught in her confusion.
The satellite turns on its thrusters and
slowly pushes itself back to earth.
She watches it while shouting back at
the voices miles below her.
Nobody can do a thing to stop it.

5.
She enters her ship,
watching through a small window
as the eye picks up speed.
It has targeted a large country,
one that has no reason for peace with
America.

It tears through the empty black
to meet the light blue sky.
A falling star with a massive payload.
Shortly after it enters the atmosphere,
she sees a massive light,
an explosion she's never seen in real
life.

She whispers worries to herself.
No response from the voices below,
as she waits she sees what she had been
dreading.
One after another,
an explosion she had never seen till now
repeats itself all over the globe.
A sudden static in her ear.

A few minutes pass as the earth settles.
She shares tears with the ashes
and diamonds,
all brothers in the end.
Through the small window in her ship,
she stares out,
alone and miles away from it all.

"Houston…?"
She whispers.
"..anybody?.."
She whimpers.
I don't want to be lost in the same valley
Where we found each other

Or locked inside
Of a home we built from two histories of
broken promises and false love

I don't even want to be ****** into adventure by
The heat of a beaten sun
Etching sweat into our dry and cracking
skin

I could not ever be sure
Of how shadow maneuvers beneath skin
Gripping, or bleeding
Blocking light from the outside
That you caged and grew to see blossom
Inside of me

I can only be sure that if it died
It was my whole self
That forced you to
Bottle sun and
Feed me seeds that would
Burn in my bile

And I can only ever apologize for
Losing something so bright
That you crafted for me,
Made to stay silver and
Instead became rusted

I have made valleys of mountains we
Climbed together,
I don't want to be found in the same valley
We lost each other
I can’t wander past the edge of my horizon
I walk a razor line biting bullets

Ordinary people watch birds
We burn bridges under the light of our

sunset love

I trickle little beads of salt over your wounds
You raze the calluses of my long walked heel

And claw through the dirt to find light
Bleed through the ground

moonbeam heat at your fingertips

Free like the edge of the horizon
Dissolving wick with
silken air,
grey and dancing,

Twiddling
thumbs like
a percussive metronome
as time slips into the mist forming

Around me,
are memories projected
from moonbeam eyes,
latching onto smoke filled air,
silk and dancing

Silk and sharp
you are slowly dulling,
mellow on the motion
of fire

Burning makes
the wispy lines form together,
elevation leaving Saturn's rings
left scattered in the orbit around me

Imploding sun
pulling parasites from
the pores of my skin
and the

Hair on my
head,
dissolving like a
candles flower
eats its stem

To keep growing
Next page