I sent my fish a swimming
In the Fallopian sea
Some swam better than others
One reached the end of his journey

And now the joy of joys
And much to my delight
I found out my girlfriends pregnant
She took a test tonight

So it's all about baby planning
Picking baby names for a girl or a boy
Buying cots and pram blankets
And the odd baby toy

Doing out the nursery
Will it be pink or blue
Can,t wait for the scan
To see what colour to do

Maternity clothing
Hospital visit or two
Morning sickness
raging hormones too

In nine month it,ll be all over
We,ll be holding a girl or a boy
Sleepless nights and ***** nappies
Is,nt parenthood a joy

To all the mothers of the world
Enjoy your mothers day
And special thoughts of sadness and love
To those who,ve passed away

Happy mothers day to you all

dear mr postman
send my mothers day card to heaven
cos i lost the most important woman in my life
she died when i was 37

she really was amazing
a good mum and wonderful wife
she grew me like a flower in her womb
she blessed me with a life

50 years have floated by
like a feather on a summer breeze
so take my mothers day gifts to heaven
postman wont you please

i think of her so often
i miss her more than words could say
and without my mother by my side
it wont feel like its mothers day

i look back fondly on my childhood
and the love my mother gave to me

the tears she dried
the the plasters she applied
the food she fed
the stories in bed

the advice she gave
for being my slave
for teaching me the rules
walking me to my schools

for my college fees
my first house keys
for the loving care
for always being there

i,m eighty seven now
and i still fill with sadness and gloom
but i know i wont live forever
and i,ll be in heaven soon

to sit by the side of my mother
to share on her special day
to thank her for the life that she gave me
and wish her a happy mothers day

What would the world be like
If we all had the same names
If we all had the same thoughts
If we all played the same games
If we all agreed on everything
And we all ate the same food
I guess we,d lead a humdrum life
It would,nt be very good
It's good to be different
To have different points of view
It's good to be me
Is it good to be you?
I think the glass is half full
You think it is half empty
We won,t agree on everything
But we will agree on plenty

He ***** on his nicotine habit
With not a care for his health
His forty a day habit
A significant drain on his wealth
His lungs become smaller and smaller
He struggles to take every breath
The toxins he continues to crave on
Bring him closer and closer to death
But still he keeps on smoking
Though there's lots of help out there
To help people stop smoking
I guess he just does,nt care
He,s playing Russian roulette
With every tab he does ****
And one day the big c will catch him
He,s really  pushing his luck

I wonder,
When my life clock stops,
And my heart no longer beats.
When the worms feast on my rotting corpse
Or the flames burn the flesh from my bones
Will I travel the up or down escalator of life

Will I go to heaven
Or will I go to hell
Only god
Or the devil can tell

I guess it depends
On the life that I led
Whether I,ll burn in hell
Or wear a halo on my head

When I die
And I,m no longer there
To be frank and honest
I doubt that I,ll care

Thank you for the honour
Of being part of your site
For giving me an audience
For the poetry that i write
For giving me a stage
To exhibit my poem
A soapbox to perform from
A home away from home
A place to show the sides of me
The many faces that I wear
The inner me that no one sees
So thanks for being there
And to the six that follow me
My sincerest thanks to you
And keep up your good writings
Cos I love your poetry too
So thank you hello poetry
From the bottom of my heart
It's really a great pleasure
For me to take part


THANK YOU

I read your comments
I do agree
That you are you
And I am me

I don't tell fibs
My poems are true
I fell off a roof before
Have you ever fell too

Roofing is a dangerous job
As are some other jobs too
And I,d just got two words 4 the spellcheck
Thank you

I,m not as bright as others
As you already know by a mile
So I really got to ask you
What is a pluviophile??

She looked quite elegant
As her fingers danced across the key
She surfed the Internet like a beach boy
Was she trying to get free
She looked up foreign holidays
And used google earth a lot
Lost in world of cyber dreams
Not happy with her lot
Yet as I sat there watching her
Like so many nights before
I loved her still after twenty years
Yet she always searched for more
So I sat there lovingly staring
While she got lost in her cyber dream
Thinking to myself how beautiful she looked
By the light of her computer screen
So I thought if you can,t beat them join them
and I moved into the spare bed
I bought myself a laptop
And began to surf the web
I added her on facebook
Under a false name
I knew the things she wanted
So I began to play the game
I told her things she longed for
I tried to set her free
But deep down all I wanted
Was for her to fall for me
I wanted back the dream
From twenty years ago
The only way to get it
Was to be someone she did,nt know
So to win back my wife
To share her cyber dream
I sit in the spare room
By the faded light of my computer screen

I risk my life
5 days a week
Up on your roof
To fix your leak
Triple ladder
On your plastic gutter
Up I climb
I must be a ******
Run up your roof
Point your ridge tiles
Bucket in hand
It kills my piles
Replace your slates
Off my cat ladder
Who,d be a roofer
We must be madder
Sit on your chimney
Like a bird
And don,t recieve
A grateful word
All they ever
Say to me
Is how long is
My guarantee
I risk my life
To keep you dry
When rain and snow
Fall from the sky
So next time when your in your bed
And you feel a drip on your head
Don't call a roofer
Call a plumber instead

To every1 who knew her
She was simply little pat
But to all of us who loved her
She was so much more than that

She was our sunshine
On every rainy day
She had an enigmatic smile
That brightened the darkest day

Of all the stars in the universe
The brightest in a midnight sky
We're dark in comparison
To the twinkle in pats eye

Of all the wonders of the world
The greatest one of all
Is how god gave a heart so big
To somebody so small

To know pat was to love her
And so many people did
Pat could Be a grown up
Or even be a kid

I,ll never forget
She came to ours one night
And pat and all the kids
Had a silly loom band fight

They flicked them back and forth
One hit Her in the eye
She shouted ow you ******
I laughed enough to cry

We will never forget her
As long as we live
She lives on inside of us
What a gift to give

So rest in peace in heaven pat
Ride your scooter on gods golden cloud
For you,ll always be our little pat
You really done us proud

I had a dream to see a king called elvis
Up on stage so supreme
But alas I am a British fan
But us British can,t half dream

So welcome to my dreamworld
To my private elvis show
And since this is my dream
I,ll sit in the front row

With a crash of a drum
And the sound of a horn
From the side of the stage
Elvis was born

As the spotlight shone
On sequins so bright
My eyes were absorbing
Everything in sight

Then he curled his lip
Graced the mike with his hand
Elvis the magician
His music is his wand

From see see rider
To blue suede shoes
Then I got a woman
To a mess of blues

From love me tender
To heartbreak hotel
Then he sang witchcraft
We were under his spell

He took a little boy
On stage from the crowd
Sang teddy bear to him
The boy looked so proud

He sang suspicious minds
And the wonder of you
Then elvis left the building
And we all felt moody blue

Pour me a big glass of whiskey
Open a big can of beer
Let the alcohol loosen my brainwaves
And let the drunk poet appear

Mi eys don't sem to be wrkn
As I,mmm lokig downnn AT&T; my yay screen
Theee drunkkk pots taking mi overr
Ifff yu kno wat I mean

Feeling down
Look around
Realise I,m not wanted anymore

Five and a half year
Of loving care
Then the closing of the door

The tears I cried
Cos her love has died
No looking  back to the past

Like a fool
I thought love was forever
But good things never last

To prove I love you
I,m gonna leave
Give you the freedom you need

You won't see my tears
Or hear me cry
You won't see my heart bleed

I,ll live in hope
Till the day I die
Reliving every memory

Hoping and praying
One day you,ll forgive
And bring your love back to me

As I pour the last dregs out the bottle
Drink up then stagger to bed
In the seconds before my eyes close
Your image invading my head

Then I wake and your lying beside me
Tears of happiness from my eyes stream
As I realise that we're still together
And it just was a terrible dream

So I kiss you while you are still sleeping
And I gaze happily at your sweet face
And I wrap my arms softly around you
As I realise I,m in the best place

Where does the heart go
When the great love affair ends
When love and kisses
Become a handshake between friends

Where do We put our hands
When we have no one to hold
After the love is over
And a lovers heart grows cold

To love a person
Who no longers loves you
Is the biggest heartache
You could go through

We all need somewhere
To heal our pain
A place to hide and lick our wounds
A place to start again

After the love is over
It's a very lonely place
A frown replacing a smile
On a tear stained face

After the love is over
After the final scene
We all react differently
In this place we,ve all been

Some turn to drink
And lock themselves away
Wallow in self pity
And throw there lives away

Some comfort eat
And pile on all the weight
Some contemplating suicide
And bathing in self hate

After the love is over
The best thing you can do
Is learn by your mistakes
And make a better you

I used to have a puppy
His eyes were big and brown
He messed upon my carpets
And knocked my ornaments down

He ate my favourite slippers
He chewed my armchair too
But I miss my little puppy
I really really do

If only I,d been more careful
Remembered to close the door
I,d still have my little puppy
That I have,nt got anymore

I still have his little collar
And his dog chews in the drawer
Still see his little scratches
On the back of the kitchen door

I thought of getting another dog
With a cute little face
But I used to have a puppy
That no dog could replace

So if you,ve got a pet
Please look after and take care
Cos I miss my little puppy
Now that he,s not there

People think it's easy
Being on the dole
But it strips you of your dignity
And slowly destroys your soul

It's not all tabs and alcohol
And pub crawls everyday
There's no designer clothes
It's primark all the way

It's farm foods or herons
For your weekly shopping too
Forget your marks and Spencer's
There just to dear for you

Your mates who work are clubbing
And pulling all the lasses
Your stuck at home with four cheap cans
And cups instead of glasses

You smell of pound shop aftershave
You use bic razors too
You wipe your *** on newspaper
When you go to have a poo

So when you say life on benefits
Is really quite a breeze
Walk a mile in my holey shoes
Before you call me please

Its fast approaching
Valentines day
So my darling Clare
I,d just like to say
I love you with all my heart

Valentines day again
Our fifth together
Love you more with every year
I,m so glad were together

I,ll get you a big card
And a cute little cuddly toy
Just to say I love you
And I,m glad to be your boy

I,ll fill it full of verses
And hearts and kisses too
I,ll even write a sloppy poem
To prove my love is true

So never leave me darling
I don,t know what I,d do
If I had to spend my valentines day
Without my love so true

So happy valentines day
And thanks my darling Clare
For giving me a valentines day
That me and you can share

It's easy to say I love you
But what does I love you mean
The answer is ever so simple
Your the best girl that I,ve ever seen

It's easy to say I love you
It's only 3 words after all
You make me feel like a giant
Before you I felt so small

It's easy to say I love you
Like I,ve said a million times before
It gets easier the longer I,m with you
And I,ll love you forever more

It's easy to say I love you
Cos my heart doesn't,t beat without you
It's easy to say I love you Clare
Cos deep down I truly do

So remember each time that we argue
And we both say things we should,nt say
That it's easy to say I love you
Cos I will till my dying day

I,m serving my sentence
Four weeks hard time
Being unemployed
Is my only crime

They sent me to felling
I did,nt think it was funny
But I had to serve my time
Or lose all my money

So I turned up on my course
Nervous on my first day
Then I met dave
Induction out the way

Straight down the factory
To the bottom shed
Putting paper into dumpy bags
Really blagged my head

So I shovel people,s ****
It Destroys my soul
But it pays Daves mortgage
And keeps 25 people off the dole

Then worked on the balers
Handballed cardboard and paper
Got to do the boring bumpers
But dave said I can do them later

Might get to go out on the van
Collecting people's ****
But it's a break from the shovel
If only for a bit

Got 25 boxes
To empty for Steve
More ****** dumpy bags
It's hard to believe

The lad I started with
His name was John
He managed one day
Now he is gone

Now he,s back to the dole
To see his advisor
Sanctioned to pieces
I would of been wiser

Just keep my head down
Do whatever I,m told
So my lovely advisor
Don,t stop my dole

Done 3days now
Just 25 to go
No good moaning
Just get on with the show

It's really not so bad
Shovelling people's ****
And it's that kind of job
We're someone's got to do it

So if you don,t like shovelling ****
We're you don't get paid a bob
Get of your **** of the dole
And get yourself a job

No offence to the **** shovelers
All over the  land
but I,m a man of verse
Not a **** shovelling fan

Thinking of you pat
On this special day
Rest peacefully in heaven
Enjoy your birthday

We  remember fondly
The birthdays before
And sadly regret
We can,t share no more

Your deep in our thoughts
And missed every day
But even more so
On your birthday

Look over gods shoulder
Keep watching the sky
We bought you birthday balloons
And we all let them fly

We filled them with memories
And sweet thoughts of you
Happy birthday sweet pat
We all miss you

So though your not with us
And heavens your new home
We think of you always
Your never alone


Happy birthday pat. R.i.p

I,ll never forget
The day that I cried
It was August the sixteenth
The day Elvis died

I could,nt believe it
It couldn't be true
The king could,nt die
He was just forty two

He gave us three decades
Out of his four
Thirty three films
And records galore

After all that he gave us
We still screamed for more
Till fame took its toll
And they found him on the floor

Elvis sings in heaven now
While Gabriel blows his horn
The angels rocking in the clouds
And a legend has been born

He had a wife
And a daughter too
And now he,s left the building
We all feel moody blue

Some people dream of holidays
Or winning a lot of money
I guess I,m not like some people
You may think I,m funny

Where I love to be
Is in the arms of my true love Clare
In the loving midst of my family
And I feel truly happy there

I have the richness
Of a loving family
The dreams I dared to wish
All came true for me

I have eight children
And a beautiful wife
I smile everyday
It's a wonderful life

I used to be a dreamer
Just like all of you
But I no longer dream
Cos all my dreams came true

My eyes are growing heavy
Tiredness clouds my sight
My brain is getting fuzzy
I,m far to tired to write

So to dear rhi and elsa
And the friends I,m yet to meet
I give in to my writers block
I finally admit defeat

So goodnight and god bless
To everyone and all
Keep watching this space
Cos the writings on the wall

Good night my friends

I looked at your profile
Are those your eyes
I could swim in them forever
Like the never ending skies

They say our eyes
Are windows to our soul
I could dive in your eyes
Like a never ending pool

I look in your eyes
I see my inspiration
Beauty is the eye of the beholder
I behold you are amazing

I liken your eyes
To two diamond bright stars
Are you truly from our world
Or do you come from mars

Do people born on earth
Ever have eyes like you
Your my mirage in my desert
I know this much is true

It was a pleasure
To look into your eyes
Thank you elsa
You win first prize

Since time began
Wars where fought
But no one learned
The lessons taught

Two countries fight
People die
Wives weep
And parents cry

World war one
Blood was spilled
Soldiers on both sides
Where sadly killed

But the biggest question
The saddest sin
Did anybody
Really win

They should of learned
You know it's true
But still we had
A world war two

And once again
Blood was spilled
Soldiers fought
And we're sadly killed

So ask me
What I think of war
I think someone
Should change the law

But here we stand
On the brink
Of world war three
It makes you think

Does anybody
Win a war
Or will we fight
Forever more

Let not one soldier
Die in vain
Let no one fight
A war again

Cos if we do
The superpowers
Could destroy this world
In a couple of hours

You liked my words
My little poem
All the way from England
To your long island home

My friend across the water
Who reached across the sea
To like a poem I wrote
So thank you from me

I will keep this short
I just wanted to say
Thank you from England
To my friend in the u s a

Come all you story readers
Be you young,or be you old
To the land of sir dolly dimple
Where fairy tales unfold

Now not so far away
And not so long ago
Lived a boy named dolly dimple
And his horse named dynamo

When I look in the mirror
What do I see
I see my twin
He looks just like me

He has my eyes
My hair my face
He hides in my mirror
His private space

He only appears
When I look for him
He quickly vanishes
As my light does dim

Look in your mirror
You might have a twin too
And I bet my bottom dollar
He looks just like you

They said don,t you cry
She,s not worth it
There,s plenty more fish in the sea
Yet here I am I,m still crying
Cos what good are fishes to me

I once was a really good fisherman
I had more than one fish in my net
But I,ts true what they say
The one that got away
Is the one I just can,t forget