i,m charming and witty
sometimes i,m funny
i aint a millionaire
but i aint short of money
i,m a canny lad
my hearts in the right place
just a shame
i got a ugly face
but i do look good
wen i turn my back
but if i face you
cover my head with a sack
i got big ears
and my eyes are brown not blue
but if i i say i love you
you,ll know its ttrue
my manhood is just average
i got sum manboobs too
i got knobbly knees
and my y fronts stink of poo
so wat i need is a blind girl
with no sense of smell
and 1 whos deaf too
so her friends cant tell
guess wat i,m saying
is i,m insecure too
if you still talk to me
respect to you

i asked myself this question
what is a friend
the answers were infinite
the possibilities never end
a friend gives
without receiving
a friend is all seeing
and all believing
a friend always tells the truth
even if you dont want to hear
a friend cud live a lifetime away
yet always feel so near
but the thing that gets me
and plays on my mind
is why are true friends
so hard to find
some friends come
and some friends go
yet some spend a lifetime
with the friends they know
but to me true friendship
Never ever ends
and i love you all so much
all of my friends
if we drift apart
i promise you this
you,ll still be my friend
someone i miss

come all you story readers
be you young or be you old
to the land of sir dolly dimple
were fairytales unfold
not so far away
and not so long ago
lived a boy named dolly dimple
and a horse named dynamo
they lived in a land of tyrants
were fear and greed was bred
yet this boy called dolly dimple
had a halo on his head
he grew to be a decent man
big and brave and strong
he rode the land on dynamo
to put right all that's wrong
he rescued damsels in distress
he put dragons fires out
he made the land a safer place
he was loved beyond all doubt
yet as he grew so famous
so did the boy next door
the wicked tyrant gordon
did evil deeds galore
now gordon was a wicked boy
who grew to be an evil man
to undo the good deeds dolly did
was gordons master plan
now gordon hated good sir dolly
ever since they both were boys
cos sir dolly quite by accident
broke one of gordons toys
so gordon kidnapped all the princesses
and locked them in his tower
to grind down all the corn he grew
and turn it into flour
he crept into peoples houses
to steal kids from there bed
to work in his bakeries
to turn his flour into bread
then he sent out all the orphans
to work on the street
seling his bread
to the people they,d meet
then he bought up all the houses
with the money he made
and doubled the rent
that the poor people paid
now everybody panicked
shouted screamed and bawled
till someone suggested
the mayor should be called
now the mayor listened carefully
and when he heard it all
he picked up his phone
and gave sir dolly a call
he quickly told sir dolly
what was going on
on dolly said dont worry mayor
i,ll be right along
so he dressed in his armour
loaded his pop gun
climbed up on dynamo
and his good deed had begun
he rode up to the tower
scaled the walls of stone
peeped into the window
to see the princesses were alone
when he saw it was all clear
he climbed into the tower
and made a big rope ladder
from the bags that held the flour
so sir dolly and the princesses
climbed down to the ground
and he took them all home safely
except 4 one he found
she was princess of the orphans
princess clare was her name
sir dolly fell in love with her
princess clare felt the same
now sir dolly had a mission
he knew he must go alone
so he dropped off princess Clare
at the mayors home
princess Clare  told sir dolly to take care
he said dont worry i,ll be back
with the wicked tyrant gordon
******* in a sack
so he rode off on dynamo
to the bakery door
so he could free all the children
so they could sleep once more
he kicked down the door
took off every chain
rode them all home
and tucked them back in bed again
then he rode to the orphanage
and hid in bushes by the gate
he knew gordon would come back 4 the kids
all he had to do was wait
first thing in the morning
just as it got light
he saw gordon coming
so he jumped out of sight
sir dolly shouted gordon
we meet again at last
i,ve come to punish you 4 all ur crimes
ur evil days are past
yet gordon was so quick
he turned and as he fled
sir dolly pulled his pop gun out
and shot him in the head
all gordon cud do
was fall with a shout
as the cork from dollies pop gun
quickly knocked him out
so dolly tied gordons hands up
tight behind his back
then picked up evil gordon
and dropped him in a sack
he put gordon on dynamos back
tied him on with his tail
rode him back to town
and threw him into jail
now the whole town cheered
and shouted dolly,s name
and gave him a medal
for stopping gordons evil game
now princess Clare
gave dolly a big kiss
and everybody cheered again
and not long after this
sir dolly and princess Clare
became husband and wife
and lived happily ever after
for the rest of there life

When i was little
i just wanted toys
then wen i got older
a bike like other boys
then wen i was a teenager
i wanted designer clothes
now im an adult
i dont need none of those
so wat do i want for xmas
theres nothing that i need
xmas is for my kids now
and it makes my heart bleed
to know i cant give them
All the material things
but i can give them my love
and the joy that it brings
so keep my xmas presents
i dont need anything at all
to know my kids are happy
is the greatest gift of all

i,d pluck the stars
from out the sky
and place there twinkle
in your eye
i,d give u the dust
from a butterflies wings
i,d search the world
for special things
i,d give my last
and a little bit more
i,d walk a million miles
just to knock on ur door
i,d give u a shoulder to cry on
and always a hand to hold
a small ring with a diamond
and then a band of gold
every minute
of everyday
you,d know u were special
in everyway
cudnt promise you 4ever
but its wat i,d be aiming for
you,d always get my best
and even a little bit more
i,d give you my everything
and all you have to do
is learn to love me
the way that i love you

Save my tears for bedtime
you,ll hear me laugh
you,ll see me smile
but im still sad
alll the while
saving my tears for bedtime

i joke around
and act the clown
but deep inside
i still feel down
saving my tears for bedtime

i talk the talk
i act the part
but i still got
a broken heart
saving my tears for bedtime

got to be strong
for my kids
but my whole life
has hit the skids
saving my tears for bedtime

the tears i cry
no one will see
just my pillow
for company
saving my tears for bedtime

the sun will never see my tears
only the moon and stars will know i cry
wen you see me in the daylight
i,ll always have a smile in my eye
cos i,m saving my tears for bedtime

Another failed relationship
a million tears more
the pieces of my broken heart
are lying on your floor
think i,d have learnt by now
after all the tears ive cried
im meant to walk this mortal plain
with no one by my side
now i know all the plans
the man in the sky chose for me
i learnt to smile instead of cry
and face my destiny
to all the girls ive loved b4
and those that once loved me
i thank u 4 each happy time
and each golden memory