Anonymouse: Poems

Anonymouse May 2018

My manic is manic
eyes are glossy and dry
lungs filled with smoke
anger inside
I want to scream
but no energy resides
it's a bad brain day
nothing to argue
nothing to hide

Bridge

Anonymouse May 2017

Bridge

Throughout my life, I noticed a trend.
I would develop friendships and one day they would end.
A year or two back I made a new friend.
He was tall with a beard and we laughed to no end.
I told him he would stop talking to me one day.
He said he never would.
A few months ago my statement finally stood.
I helped him out his rut.
He got a job, quit drugs, got clean and then he found love.
He met a nice girl.
An artist
a sweetheart.
I was right.
I led him to where he was meant to be.
I full heartedly hope he's happy without me.

DNA in a Cruel World

Anonymouse Apr 2018

DNA in a Cruel World

I have been a girl since the day I was born
I am a jewish girl at that
I am also Puerto Rican
Why can't I strong
Why can't I openly express my beliefs
Why can't I dance without it being ******
Why can't I yell when you are being unfair
Today on the bus these boys were talking
talking about girls they disrespect
or want to sleep with
or don't even want to touch
They way they said the things they said
made me mad
"If a girl has *** she's a *****- if she doesn't she's a *****"
why can't I just be happy
A wise woman told me
women are not considered better than men because we are too busy putting eachother down
She's right
I see it all around
I want to be friends
I want to hear your opinions and beliefs
I don't want to judge you
I don't want to disrespect you
or mess with your head
Why can't you try
just try
to do the same.
Please be nice.
Please think.
Please consider not being you
for just one minute.
Please
Please
Try.

Friend Philosophies

Anonymouse Sep 2017

Friend Philosophies

There are four kinds of friends you could find in this world. Bridges, tunnels, wells, or grounds.

A bridge is a friend that helps you get over something. A traumatic event, an insecurity, perhaps even temporary loneliness or boredom.

A tunnel is a friend that helps you hide. You hide from your issues, your feelings, your failures.

A well is a friend (if you can even call them that) that ***** you down into their world. Down to a dark place that's hard to escape.

A ground is hard to come by. The ground is a friend that is always there for you. Keeps you level-headed when the world seems to spin too fast.

Don't mix them up even though it may be tricky. Some people shouldn't stay forever, but those that deserve you, appreciate them.

Games

Anonymouse Jun 2017

Games

Success is the game and stress is the name.
I strive and struggle yet what do I get.
Trivial facts and high numbers on scale that I have yet to truly understand. I sit lone souled on the edge of my bed writing letter and number series on a page that doesn't really exist. On a box that only works when connected to forces I cannot see. I send these documents to a woman I've never met and hope she likes what I've sent. Sometimes I can't eat because I'm too deep in thought, but I always sleep like a baby sometimes hoping I won't have to get up. I light these sticks of poisonous herb hoping to unwind just an inch closer to curb this sense of anxiety that sits deep in the pit of me. Success is the game stress is the name but with this heart wrenching dedication I'll find the motivation to win this screwy game I chose to play and my last move will never arrive cause this my game and I'm here to stay.

Hallways of Hell

Anonymouse Apr 2017

Hallways of Hell

Happiness is to Spontaneity
as
depression is to dormancy.
I roam these white halls
white walls
5 days a week
only to do the same cycle
meek
same food
same classes
same people
same doors
only to feel lost and alone
I dream of running and escaping this hell
Watching the cultures of different lands
Seeking out the stars from every given altitude
Sleeping under a blanket of night
Finding a home that finally feels right
but
first I must navigate these halls once more
school does end for a year.

Light through the Trees

Anonymouse Apr 2017

Light through the Trees

I lay motionless on the solid ground and gaze up at the leaves above.
Each has their own individual hue. Their own space in this existence, in this universe. They are there for a reason that no one can see.
The light that I cannot touch, but can feel create patterns everywhere as far as I can see.
The light warms my soul, but the breeze is a sharp reminder.
Comfort is temporary.
Its existence is immortal.
My existence is immortal.

Manic

Anonymouse Aug 2018

Manic

manic life is new
I've been sad for years
it's the longest its ever lasted
I hope this never ends
I'm dancing like a queen
I'm always speeding on the streets
boys follow me and kiss me sweet
It may be raining and dark all around
but **** that I'm having a blast in town
they kick me out the club when they see I'm 18
but I talk my into staying late every week
I love my life and I love my sugar daddy
my boy became my ex but now I'm stunning
life took a turn ever since I took that trip
I can't wait to go back and recharge my whip
i'm trippin'
living
living life like I want
I don't know how they all held me down so ******* long
i'm trippin'
living
living like I dreamed
I'm on top of the world
I can't be beat
try me

May 1st

Anonymouse May 2018

May 1st

Another day of checking in
another day of school
I spoke to the kid that I spoke to once before
same routine day after day
***** about waking up for 20 minutes
get out of bed
shower
stare into the water stream
blinding myself
hoping ill wipe the water to see something new
get dressed
make coffee
catch the bus
40 minutes of music
school
memorize
8 hours of music or silence
catch bus
40 minutes
home
smoke
laugh
hopefully
I didn't today
the thing I call life is just a broken record
I'm 18
and life ******* *****
Please be more
Please
DONT ******* LEAVE ME HERE
on this loop of losing my ******* mind

My man

Anonymouse Jul 2017

My man

This man I once met stays by my side through the wrecks.
He lifts me like I'm weightless.
Kisses me with conviction.
It's been a few years and I want to clear be, perfection isn't near.
I'm a ***** and he's child.
Together we make minor issues colossal.
I've wanted to explore since the beginning.
He won't grow up by the time I'm leaving.
He will always be in my heart.
Will he stay by my side despite the ride?

Plus Size?

Anonymouse Jun 2017

Plus Size?

I call myself a feminist.
I call myself proud.
I see "big and beautiful" or "***" marked along the walls.
I see "plus size" as a label for a woman with hips.
I watch loving compliments,
but..
I also watch heartless hateful commentaries.
We label everything between fruit, office supplies, or people.
That's how humans understand, to categorize.
How can we call ourselves people if we label to give pain and not for simple understanding.
People are not plus sized.
We are all sizes.
We are all skinny for we are all covered in skin.
Thin and thick are not meant to be judgements.
We are all beautiful.
We should all spread love.
Label to learn.
Leave hate for hell.

Reality

Anonymouse Jun 2017

Reality

What is reality when my life is a sham?
I do nothing all day but sleep and daze off trying to find hope.
A hope that will drive me to get done what needs my attention.
These assignments stack up like a landfill of dreams and I make them wait until the last minute with procrastinating tendencies.
I constantly ask myself what is real because consciousness is allegorically a state of mind.
I'm in a state where I try to feel, but instead, I am held in this lame *** stand still.
I stand before myself with an unloaded pistol waiting for something... anything.
My life is nonexistent and I am barely present.
When will I awake from this pathetic dream I call reality?

Senior Year

Anonymouse Apr 2018

Senior Year

At 18 I have been hit on by my friend's father. Starred at by my local gas station owner and told how much I've changed. **** them. Deadlines never seem to end. Work pours in at every corner. My boyfriend wants attention, but so does all my teachers. I spend time with him to pull an all-nighter at home. Why does my happiness come at a cost for my work? Why does my work slow down me developing as a person? I have no money. I hate high school. At least I haven't peaked yet. Hopefully... It will get better.

Seventeen

Anonymouse Dec 2017

Seventeen

I am young.
I am confused. At the same time, I couldn't be more sure.
I have a dream. I have goals.
I have love. I have happiness.
I have anger and angst and anxiety.
I want to be alone, but sometimes the silence scares me more than anything.
I fear what lurks in the dark while I am isolated.
I run into the dark in celebration with freedom holding my hand.
The part of life that actually matters for the duration is starting soon.
I can see it peaking over the horizon.
I am no fighter but, come at me!

— The End —