Funny how love and your name both have four,  
I don’t like love, but with you, I want more.  
Hearing your name makes it feel real,  
Makes me crave something I don’t want to feel.  

I long to feel you, your warmth, your skin,  
The way you pull me in, where do I begin?  
I don’t want just texts, I want you whole,  
But I know you don’t care, you don’t feel my soul.  

Maybe if I was thinner, prettier, a little more bright,  
Would you see me then? Would you see me right?  
What’s wrong with me? What do they have that I lack?  
I give and give, but I’m always turning back.  

I love you, but you don’t even see,  
How can you be blind when it’s so clear to me?  
Am I a fool for loving you, for wanting this touch?  
Or are you playing games, knowing I care too much?  

I love you, I hate you, all at once in my chest,  
I hate myself more for putting this to the test.  
I try so hard, but you don’t even try,  
And I’m left here waiting, asking myself why.

Tell me that you’re gay,  
and that you wish you could love me,  
but you just can’t  
because I’m not the one you need.  

Tell me how painful it is,  
how every moment with me  
feels like a distant dream  
you can’t reach.  

Tell me you feel it,  
but it’s not enough to change  
what’s inside of you  
that ache in your chest  
that you can’t make go away.  

Tell me that you want to love me,  
but you can’t,  
because you’re gay
and it hurts,  
more than I’ll ever know.  

and I’ll take that,
because it’s the only reason
I’ll accept from you for not being able to like me.

You sit on your bed,  
eyes tracing the night,  
the moon’s quiet glow,  
the stars burning bright.  

And then, there it is
a flash in the dark,  
a fleeting moment,  
a shattered spark.  

You close your eyes,  
make your secret wish  
a silent dream,  
a stolen kiss.  

But it’s already gone,  
the light burned out,  
the echo fading,  
faint and drowned.  

Your dream stumbles,  
lost in the haze,  
but you still hold it,  
you still feel its blaze.  

For even a wish,  
long spent and dead,  
lingers quietly,  
in the space you’ve bled.  

I’m not wishing for a star,  
and I’m not wishing for you  
I’m wishing for a love  
that could have been true.

The world fades to a whisper
voices lose their weight,  
faces dissolve into nothing,  
until it's just him,  
his presence consuming me.  

His eyes find mine,  
and everything shifts,  
a slow burn igniting deep inside,  
a pull so magnetic  
I can’t look away.  

I crave the feel of him,  
his lips on mine,  
soft and teasing,  
lingering,  
until the heat between us  
blurs every thought,  
every breath,  
until nothing remains  
but the taste of him,  
the fire he stirs inside me.

Every time my phone hums,  
my pulse skips  
is it you?  
I check, hoping,  
needing your name to glow back at me.  

But it’s not.  
And the ache deepens.  

I go back to my world,  
halfhearted, distracted,  
my thoughts circling back to you  
always you.  

It’s madness, how many voices fill my day,  
how many words pass me by,  
and yet, none of them matter.  
None of them pull me like you do.  

I crave the sound of you  
the way you make my world pause,  
the way even a single word from you  
feels like a touch  
I’ve been waiting for all day.  

Until it’s you,  
I’ll keep waiting,  
breathless, aching,  
lost in the wanting.

Every time my phone lights up,  
I check  
is it you?  
But it’s not,  
so I sigh,  
go back to what I was doing,  
pretending it doesn’t matter.  

But it does.  

On repeat,  
like a melody I can’t escape,  
I’ll do it again and again  
until it is you.  

Crazy, isn’t it?  
So many voices call my name,  
yet none of them spark that thrill
none of them light up my day  
the way you do  
with just a message.

I bet you taste like hot chocolate  
warm, rich, irresistible,  
drawing me closer,  
pulling me in with every breath.  

Let me taste you,  
not in haste,  
but slow and deliberate,  
letting the sweetness bloom  
softly across my tongue.  

Your warmth spills into me,  
a quiet fire melting every edge,  
each moment lingering  
like a whisper against my lips.  

I want you  
not in halves, not in shadows  
but fully, deeply, completely,  
until nothing remains  
but this sweet, endless heat.