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Jul 2021 · 109
Never changed
T Cup Jul 2021
I am
Neurotic in love
Never grew out of it

Someday, I hope for something better

Better than
Comparing
Lurking
Stalking
Any woman who seems to have caught the eye of who I’m sleeping with
And taking it as evidence that I am not, nor could I ever be
Someone’s first choice
Jan 2016 · 293
Untitled
T Cup Jan 2016
They say time makes things easier but that simply isn't true,
I still can't fall asleep on my own without you.

I relate to Sylvia Plath often through many things she has said,
Especially "I think I made you up inside my head."

I dream mostly about kissing your lips or holding your hand,
As these thoughts bring more peace than toes in sand.

I could spend hours writing but there wouldn't be any point,
I'd still face the night alone, replacing you with a joint.

Being high makes the loneliness easier to bear,
But instead of gripping a lighter I'd rather it be your hair.

A puff of smoke drifts openly toward the moon,
While I close my eyes and hope to see you soon
Jan 2016 · 289
Playing The Game
T Cup Jan 2016
School matters.
T Cup Dec 2015
No matter what I think about,
I can't get you out of my head.

You are the only one that I want...

No one else turns me on.
No one else is as handsome, smart, or perfect as you are...

Do I want you back?
A: Yes
Dec 2015 · 286
Untitled
T Cup Dec 2015
you don't know what you're missing, until  you've lost it.

I want my soulmate back.
But there's no way he would want me back now.

I am:
Damaged
Goods.

Even though the two of them were the biggest regrets of my life,
They will also become his.
And I do not want that.
This is not poetic, but it **** sure is real.

I've ****** him over, with two others
Both of which aren't even half the man he is
-literally-

A.J.B is my soulmate,
But am I his?
I'm a ******* piece of trash.
Dec 2015 · 340
Advise Against This
T Cup Dec 2015
I used to hang on every word you'd give me
Now, I look at my phone and roll my eyes when I see your name,
Isn't that a shame?

You're so **** annoying.
Tricked myself and everyone else that I actually had feelings for you.
Ha.
I wish Colin would leave me alone.
Dec 2015 · 321
Self Control
T Cup Dec 2015
I can't get A.J.B of my head,
No matter what I've said.

Soulmates?
Definitely...

I can't even get wet for someone else.
Nor do I want to be intimate
Ever
Again.
Regrets regrets regrets
T Cup Nov 2015
this world, this life
our only known, guaranteed shot at consciousness
should be spent by everyone,
extravagantly

and it deeply hurts me
like ten thousand knives into my optimism
that people are still waking up every day
wishing they could die.

i can't think of many things sadder than that.
Nov 2015 · 296
at a glance
T Cup Nov 2015
No matter how sick, tired, sad,
or unhappy you are,
there’s one thing
you can still be grateful for
and that’s the fact that you’re still here.
T Cup Nov 2015
Hating yourself
is not beautiful
Hating your father, your mother
is not beautiful
Hating ex (girl) (boy) friends
is not beautiful
and i feel sorry for anyone who made you think it was.
T Cup Nov 2015
Getting drunk
Laying stiff on an air mattress
Tell me, what's fun about this?

Partying isn't for me
I feel so empty

I'll keep drinking shot after shot
And maybe I'll feel differently

Maybe I'll get the love of my life out of my head,
Trick myself into thinking I'd rather be with someone else instead.

Take another puff, pass it around
In the morning I'll be alone on the cold hard ground.

"Not a ****** anymore"
Um, congratulations?
20 second duration

A.j.b. is better than you
Physically
Mentally
Every way

But I can no longer be with him and
I just want to die,
So keep filling my cup
Because I am empty

I just don't give a **** about being alive,
But partying doesn't make me feel any better.

I'll keep going, though. Maybe eventually I'll stop wanting to **** myself if I trick myself instead.
Parties are not fun
Having *** with someone you do not love isn't fun.

Whatever, it's not like I'll ever have my soulmate back.
Oct 2015 · 246
Burning Out
T Cup Oct 2015
"You're seventeen, why do you work so much?"
Is what most people say,
When they learn how I spend every day
Working one job or the other, after/before school.

What I want to say is,
I work
To
     Pay dad's medical bills
His rent
       & mom's utilities
My phone bill
  & his

what I actually say is
"It's to spend money on things I don't need,
like other seventeen-s!"
I let people have the illusion that,

      "Money gives me freedom!"

          "I love making my own money"
or

"I'm saving up for a car."
                            
                              ­           When I don't even have a real savings account.


I'd never say

                                *Help me,
                                      I'm burning out.
Oct 2015 · 385
Prevalence
T Cup Oct 2015
dress up your poem with pretty sounding synonyms
                                                  &
wait for a golden lightning bolt to confirm you are not alone
Dec 2013 · 347
Neb and nerual
T Cup Dec 2013
I ******* hate both of you.

and there's nothing poetic about hatred.
Nov 2013 · 1.1k
LURE-N
T Cup Nov 2013
oh she's a ****?
the girl you called "adorable" in front of all your facebook friends,
is now a fat, ugly *****?
The girl you ****** time and time again
No longer has your lust?
Yeah, right, okay,
And Neb didn't
****
me.

One lie after the next.
Nov 2013 · 1.1k
i want you
T Cup Nov 2013
Our relationship began from a simple Facebook message,
which led into weeks of looking forward to your messages
and catching any glimpse I could of you in the hall

You couldn't like me
You, like someone like me?
She was beautiful, that L girl,
and i had low self-esteem.

I had to get real.
Hours of confiding in my gay best friend for help,
Which didn’t help
     “I can’t believe how much I like him, I don’t know what to do”
Was said to her on the fifth of December.
    I’d only known you for a month then
But, I knew you were gonna be something
Maybe it was your wit, or your most perfect features
Perhaps your smile,
that smell of old spice,
which somehow spoke to your maturity.

In any event,
I had to look for someone I could actually get,
even when I didn't want anyone but you

fast forward

Laid there for twenty minutes that night you first touched me,
I was a scared little ******,
or still considered myself one
Unaware of how emotional things of that nature would become for me
Or already were

but you shushed me and reassured me
"I never want to do anything like this with anyone else"
Is what you said to me
I'll never forget
I was thinking the same thing
Still am.

Can’t wait for the day you touch me again
In whatever way is most pleasing to you
I’ll do whatever you want
Anything feels good with you

Can’t wait to wake up and see that
grin on your face when I kiss your
Chapped lips before you’ve sipped your
morning coffee.


**I’m completely in love with you and every second you ignore me is a different kind of hell.
Mar 2013 · 884
Just Love Me Today, Okay?
T Cup Mar 2013
you tell me you aren't sure of my faithfulness
because her actions once made you cry
but baby,
i'm not her
and you’re ******* crazy if you think that I could ever touch another man
the thought makes me sick
Mar 2013 · 644
Am I doing this right?
T Cup Mar 2013
I'm scared
Am I doing this right?
Is this what she did?
Please, don't compare me to her....
I have no idea what the hell i'm doing
i probably look disgusting
i'm sorry
i just want to please you
i'll try harder
Nope.. that didn't make you harder.


what the hell am i doing.

— The End —