When i stare into the mirror
I see how dull i look,
My eyes are empty days and i am
Counting perfect teeth when i smile.

I paint my face with blood and
Twist my lashes into spiderlegs
I flirt with a gun and if you ask
Really nicely, i would ******* it

My body is an hourglass with
Fat fat fat fat fat
Grab me in your hand and
Crush me into a thousand pieces.

I am begging you to tie my shoes
But all i feel are nasty fingers
At places where they dont belong
I feel my heart clench every minute.

I cut my fingers open and paint
On the canvas that is called earth
I am supposed to follow my dreams,
But i only have nightmares

It's when I get so nauseous
And my body shows little
Cracks and i am not sure if
The wetness on my face is

Puke or Blood.

It's when my knive-sharp
Words fling through people
their hearts and brains and I
Ruin every bond i have so that

I will be alone.

Its the constant excitement,
Being felt in mostly my hands
Wanting to **** and hurt with
The biggest smile on my face.

You spell it: P.S.Y.C.H.O

It's the breakdowns with screams
and sobs and sniffles, welcomed by
the feeling of power and dominance,
which are symptoms of happiness.

All these feelings in 3 seconds.

It's the complete empty feeling
When the attacks die down and
It feels like depression over again
But it's all numbness.

Define Bipolar: Me.

It hurt so much
When you shot me
But then i remembered
I gave you the gun.

You pulled the trigger
And looked me in the eyes
And the emptiness i saw
Was hurting me more

Than the bulletwound
That left me without
Breath and i felt everything
Streaming out of me.

You shot me straight
In my heart but really
It doesnt matter i'm
Not capable of love anyway

Because im all flaws flaws flaws and all messed up messed up messed up my body is made from an unreal substance i peel it off and break my fingers in a million pieces there is all black black black inside im rotting away till the wind will eat me and put me in lungs of others where i will destroy destroy destroy because thats what im good at.

The letter A stands for
Alone, and it is my biggest
Fear. Because what am I
When nobody wants me.

I am merely an object
Who steals oxygen from
People who are loved and
Love is such a strong word.

I don't understand why
I exist.
Time ticks away and let me
Tell you that it is all an illusion.

People ask me
'Would you die for me?'
But the real question is
'Would I live for you?'

I should tell the truth and
release all the sins that are
stuck in my throat, dreading
to fly away, just like me.

Goose skin spreads and stays
like a permanent tattoo and
your breath stutters before
you crush your lips on mine.

Cigarette smoke eats me from
the inside, it's making friends
with all my feelings. It's so
poisonous, I will die.

I want to stay in that false
state of euphoria with
sharp objects and many colors
but red and black are the only ones i see.

Bruises are spreading too
making their way all over my body,
my back breaks open and in war
with myself, i fly away.