It's when I get so nauseous
And my body shows little
Cracks and i am not sure if
The wetness on my face is

Puke or Blood.

It's when my knive-sharp
Words fling through people
their hearts and brains and I
Ruin every bond i have so that

I will be alone.

Its the constant excitement,
Being felt in mostly my hands
Wanting to **** and hurt with
The biggest smile on my face.

You spell it: P.S.Y.C.H.O

It's the breakdowns with screams
and sobs and sniffles, welcomed by
the feeling of power and dominance,
which are symptoms of happiness.

All these feelings in 3 seconds.

It's the complete empty feeling
When the attacks die down and
It feels like depression over again
But it's all numbness.

Define Bipolar: Me.

I should tell the truth and
release all the sins that are
stuck in my throat, dreading
to fly away, just like me.

Goose skin spreads and stays
like a permanent tattoo and
your breath stutters before
you crush your lips on mine.

Cigarette smoke eats me from
the inside, it's making friends
with all my feelings. It's so
poisonous, I will die.

I want to stay in that false
state of euphoria with
sharp objects and many colors
but red and black are the only ones i see.

Bruises are spreading too
making their way all over my body,
my back breaks open and in war
with myself, i fly away.

When i stare into the mirror
I see how dull i look,
My eyes are empty days and i am
Counting perfect teeth when i smile.

I paint my face with blood and
Twist my lashes into spiderlegs
I flirt with a gun and if you ask
Really nicely, i would ******* it

My body is an hourglass with
Fat fat fat fat fat
Grab me in your hand and
Crush me into a thousand pieces.

I am begging you to tie my shoes
But all i feel are nasty fingers
At places where they dont belong
I feel my heart clench every minute.

I cut my fingers open and paint
On the canvas that is called earth
I am supposed to follow my dreams,
But i only have nightmares

Because im all flaws flaws flaws and all messed up messed up messed up my body is made from an unreal substance i peel it off and break my fingers in a million pieces there is all black black black inside im rotting away till the wind will eat me and put me in lungs of others where i will destroy destroy destroy because thats what im good at.

It hurt so much
When you shot me
But then i remembered
I gave you the gun.

You pulled the trigger
And looked me in the eyes
And the emptiness i saw
Was hurting me more

Than the bulletwound
That left me without
Breath and i felt everything
Streaming out of me.

You shot me straight
In my heart but really
It doesnt matter i'm
Not capable of love anyway

The letter A stands for
Alone, and it is my biggest
Fear. Because what am I
When nobody wants me.

I am merely an object
Who steals oxygen from
People who are loved and
Love is such a strong word.

I don't understand why
I exist.
Time ticks away and let me
Tell you that it is all an illusion.

People ask me
'Would you die for me?'
But the real question is
'Would I live for you?'