i noticed you
for monthsā
in the hallways,
in the classrooms,
in the soft spaces between bells
where nothing big ever happens
except maybe
you.
you passed me once
and i remember thinking,
he looks nice,
but i didnāt do anything about itā
not yet.
then came may,
and something in the air shifted
or maybe it was just me
finally listening to the way
my heart leaned toward yours
without asking permission.
i told my best friend
about how you might be
a maybe worth chasing.
and it took me
a week
and five almosts
to finally walk in your direction.
monday came
like a dare.
i said, iām doing it today.
we walkedā
me, my courage, and my best friend
who peeled off into the silent library,
behind glass walls,
where she could still watch me
from a distance
like a quiet lifeline.
i said,
āhey, can i talk to you outside?ā
and you followedā
no hesitation.
while we were walking
i looked at my best friend for help
through the glass wall,
and
through the reflection
i saw your face.
and god,
you were smiling.
like i wasnāt a stranger
but someone youād already
been waiting for.
we stood in the courtyard
and i asked if we could be friends
like it wasnāt the scariest thing
iād said all year.
you said āsureā
and smiled,
and the whole courtyard
felt lighter.
i asked if we could have lunch.
you said you had lessons,
and i nodded
like my heart wasnāt already
writing a story about us.
then i asked,
āwhat about tomorrow?ā
you said, ādepends on your timetable.ā
you listened as i read it out loud,
as if my voice
mattered to you
even for a moment.
Then you pausedā
just a flickerā
like maybe you had time,
or maybe you didnāt,
or maybe you were thinking
about exams,
or maybe
you were just being gentle.
ānah, iāve got lessons then too,ā
you said.
and i nodded,
like that didnāt quietly
deflate something
small and hopeful inside me.
ādo you use insta?ā
i asked.
and you said āyeahā
and typed your name into my phone
with the calm of someone
who didnāt know
they were the center
of someone elseās courage.
and thenā
typical meā
i realised i didnāt know your name.
so i asked.
you said āniy.ā
i stuck out my hand,
said āiām syn*,ā
like this was a business deal,
not a soft beginning.
later, i told my best friend about the handshake.
my best friend laughed,
āhow formal of you, syn*,ā
and we both did.
but what she didnāt see
was how loud my heart was,
how that handshake
held everything
iād never said out loud.
because i had passed you
so many times before.
but this time,
i stopped.
i spoke.
i tried.
and for once,
you saw me.
not just in passingā
but really,
truly.
and that,
was enough.
for now.