I am out of everything.

I’ve poured out so much over you,
but you are a ghost,
a phantom,
a beautiful
blissful
dream.

The feeling of feeling
clouds my head
and takes over my judgement
every
single
time.

It's like a shock
bringing me back to life,
and then it fades
leaving me cold
and alone.

You are that sweet whisper
bringing the life back to me
for just a moment.

And I live for that moment
no matter how fleeting it may be.

You **** everything out of me
and, yet
I still let you
take
everything
because for a second
you also give me everything.

I am ash.
My flame?
Gone.
My fire?
Doused.

Just a shadow
of what I once was,
the faded glory
slowly blowing away.

How did this happen?
I was strong,
mighty,
feared.
Now I am nothing.
I am ash.

When did this happen?
Just a second ago
there was a spark.
All you need is a spark.

Now nothing burns.
The embers are gone,
the spark has fizzled,
and I am ash.

As I am once again
left with no goodbye,
I shall still send my sweet wishes.
My dearest, my darling,
sleep and dream.
Dream of daring sword fights,
dream of being a hero,
but, most importantly, dream of me.
My spirit is with you, all through tonight
it sleeps alongside you
because that is where I long to be.
The last traces of your lips
consume my every thought,
and I hope and wish that
the feelings can conquer
the space in-between us.
For you are so far away,
I can no longer feel your presence
between the sheets that we share.
My dearest, my darling,
wherever you wander off tonight
in your subconscious, just know,
that I bid you goodnight.

When I am with you
I feel nothing
I feel everything,
why is that?
It hasn't been that long,
yet you have this power over me.
A power I cannot explain,
a power that electrifies,
a power that calms.
What a feeling.
A high so great
I’m floating in space,
but grounded firmly
as if I'm at the earth’s core.
Free and trapped.
A jump off a cliff,
thrill,
excitement.
Stopped by the bungee
safety,
security.
What is it
about you?
I cant identify
why
my senses are on fire
and chilled on ice.
What is it
about you?
I want to know.
I need to know.
For my curiosity grows stronger
with every day.
My spirit yearns to understand
why.
Why you?
Why this?
Why me?
The feelings of two extremes
trapped in one body,
trapped in me.
A thrashing ocean on the surface
yet I find peace underneath.
Heat on my skin
but I shiver.
Volts run through my veins
whenever you are near.
A system shock to my brain.
I want to know you.

What was fun at first
makes me sick now.
You were enticing
and inviting.
You showed off
your whistles
and bells,
but you just go in circles.
You are a never ending,
unstoppable force.
I thought that
consistency
and predictability
was what I wanted.
But I was wrong.
Adventure calls to me
and you spit in its face.
I am tired of this ride.
The same old thing
has gotten boring now.
I want excitement
that is why I jumped off.

Two roads diverged in a wood
and I, I was forced to take the road less traveled by.
The road that’s cold,
the road that’s lonely.

Being on this road
is something that I am not used to.
I am used to soft morning kisses
and goodnight hugs
and shared everything.

But now that I am here
I see something new,
something strange,
something I never knew that I needed.

Seeing a new height
above the clouds,
my mind is clear.

Losing you
wasn’t a loss.

Because in losing you
I found the sun.