My biggest fear
Is the man in the mirror
He hasnt found the cure

Hes controlled by depression
And depression has an obsession
With guilt from life lessons

Hate is the essence of pain
In a sense love and hate are the same
They pave the way but one lays with grace

We shake from anxiety
Anxious as **** thinking about sobriety
Im just a weakling to society

Drugs bring out the life inside of me
Its my god given right to be drugged accordingly
So please don't do it forcibly

I handle my mental health horribly
Treat myself horridly
You can call it morbidly

Dont waste your time mourning me
Because i failed at everything
Everything and its entirety

Feel like a used up dryer sheet
I can't make a fire breathe
My soul is dim and tiredly

My past self still haunts me
Its absolutely exhausting
***** really good at taunting
100 percent ugly and daunting
My present says its costly
Future has no frosting
Im easily crushed like origami

I miss you looking at this astronomy
My space is decorated with your pottery
Too bad nobody does lobotomies
Cause I keep on losing my ticket to the lottery
Letting all the wrong things bother me
The right girl gets you feeling fatherly
My eyes are puffy and still wattering

I cant keep myself from pondering
Wondering if we'll ever share our laundry
Heart aching listening to daughtry
You never once wronged me
And loved me entirely broadly
Thinking of you forever fondly
Until our paths decide they need crossing

A vow of silence
Because i feel lifeless
Like a bird thats flightless
My being doesnt feel righteous
My words are making you frightened
I feel like a shattered diomand
Stranded on an island

Surrounded by bile
Endless are the miles
Opposite of my smile
Drowning under this depression pile
Its obsession for me feels vile
Im being stalked down grocery aisles
Helpless little prey in the wild

Do i play the victim
My life isnt blissless
But where do i go to get it
Its missing from my shipment
And it was supposed to be exquisite
So ill just sit and listen
My voice will be back in a minute

Momma come be with me
I dont wanna be
Lonely
When I die
When I pass into a different life
I cut myself with a knife
And the blood won't stop
Life just got to be a lot
The ground beneath me grew to be so hot
But I'm growing freezing cold
22 years old
Soon to be a story only told
Narrated with a memory
Of something absolutely ugly
Creatively
Sad
******
For the lack
Of chemicals
Godly principles
Fundamentals
Light in my eyes
That's guides us through the night

Hold her body
As if she was the first shape you ever felt
Feel her
With the way she breathes
Let your fingers flow
Against her chills
Taste her warmth
And sweetness
Breathe in her aura
Listen to the beautiful sounds
That so naturally find their way through her lips
Caress her body as you ****** yourself inside of her
Breathe her in
Whisper in her ear
"You are perfect"
**** and lick her *******
And *** your warmth into her
She is perfection
And you are lucky to be apart of her in this moment

The emotion that comes with pain
Trickles down then floods with rain
Do you know how much moisture is needed to accumulate a cloud
There is torture when you can not accommodate a loud sound
Like thunder
Oh how her heart did plunder
Lightning has burned itself into you
Choices earn you a hell that isnt blue
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
A guy can hold a lie that darkens an entire sky
One with a light so bright you wouldn't guess might crave to die
So dimmed
Because the devil forced himself in
Sold her soul
Molded an empty hole
Created a space not meant for the reality of this earth
Dictated hate that you sent to the eyes of babies you simply didnt birth
How could you let anyone believe
Be deceived by such a thief
That maybe evil doesn't exist
Hanging, laying, faking; the devil coexists

I am simply not okay
Not today
I have been left in dismay
Spit on my grave
Resubmitted for flowers
Held against my own power
Survived only so you would not sour
So you could sit here and call me a coward
Somehow hold my life
Until I die
Ignore my cries
To have a better night
We pass alone
Our bodies turn to bone
Get a headstone
And we grow into the unknown

Neither can be turned off
Both can be a lot
Or not enough
Kinda sorta just like love
They can all be ****** up
Perception is key
Life comes with many fees
Many prices to pay
That can all take your day
And make you not want to stay
Causing death to be something you crave
But if you can see the light
Maybe theres still some fight
Which can grow in time
Use yourself wisely
Or you'll never reach a silver lining
Possibly be completely gone at the age of 22
With absolutely nothing left to lose
Give I guess would be the right word
Because on February 3rd
Gone he was with no more pain
A clean slate
Blissful state
Simple day of fate
Changed the course of one mind
Forever high in a sky
Unseeable
Not reachable
But still in this body
Just like everybody
Being used up by a cruel world
That sometimes makes you want to hurl
An even balance is a rarity
We profit off of charity
Isnt that contradictory
Pretty self explanatory
If we can not see ourselves as equals
There will always be the devil
God will only be there
As much as we care
So love with your eyes
Because some are extra cold tonight

Creepy guy
Scary nights
Texting lies
Passing lights
Glaring eyes
Setting fire
Darkest hour
No power
Innocent flower
Rain showers
Drown her
Without thirst

Write down everything you feel
Even though none of it seems to be real
My thoughts are the ones that ****
Should I be on some ******* pill
I feel mad sad and just overall bad
For everything I have, had, and shouldnt have

My first thought was you
So I sprung up and flew to
Fluttered into your cave
Completely disrupting the space
Ruining the peace
So I went back to my tree
It's hard to live a life
As a bird in the sky
With a creature of the night
Because most things that fly
Like life better with light
I've ventured to other lands
Had my feathers ripped out by the hands
Of those who choose to feed me
Clipping my wings
And stealing away everything
That makes me free
Never again did I think
I would experience breeze
The way its meant to be felt
This earth is hell
And death is heaven
Created when "God" rested on day #7
When your freedom is ripped away
Why would you want to stay
Be okay with a movie in grey
My words were meant to be quiet
Silent
Unpublished
Hidden like a fish
In this dying garbage sea
Swimming far away from reality
Ignored
Because fighting global warming is a chore
Drowned at the surface
Thrown into a furnace
Where most flowers cannot naturally grow
Something only nature truly knows

Death is but a wish
An accident I wish I hadn't missed
I just wanna sleep
Please I feel so freaking weak
The good feels bad
And the bads entirely sad
There is no end to the road
That drives you to places you dont wanna go

Neverending day
Won't you leave me so tomorrow can stay
Leave me to be in peace
Please do not disrupt the deceased
For life has grown so tiresome
Anxious and worrisome
That death sounds a lot like rest
In this ugly *** mess