Her fingers smelled like matchsticks and if you looked into her eyes, the stars you hear about in every fairy tale have been replaced with flickering flames that seemed to dance as she smiled. She smelled of ash and smoke and she reminded you of the wind, like if you looked away for just a second too long, she would wisp away and all that would be left is the scent of smoke. She flickered like a flame, there one day and gone the next, and you could tell that she was never meant to be a permanent fixture in this world. She was made for a quick burn, she was made to leave a mark a let the world know she was there, but only briefly and then like the fires that filled her veins she would fade and eventually her light would die. She was only made for short times, something meant to be replaced with something more permanent. She was not your happy ever after. She was just the placeholder.

I swore I would never be brokenhearted over you because I thought that you didn’t deserve my heartbreak, that you didn’t deserve to take a piece of my heart out right from the middle that would cause my heart to collapse from the inside out. When you left, because baby that was all you, you didn’t even think twice, didn’t look back, didn’t steal one last glance, and that is when I knew that I was never anything to you. You said I was and I believed you because you never gave me a reason not to. Your touch was always gentle, always careful, always so full of love, and I’m so happy I never got to experience those touches fill with hate and regret because I think it would have killed me. But maybe that would have been better because every single day without you has been filled with thoughts of you and at times I think it would be best to just destroy every part of me that still lingers with the taste, touch, feel, thought of you, so I try. I smoke because it reminds me of you. It’s the only thing that can leave me breathless and guess what baby. It’s killing me. Just the same as you.