I just want to be tangled in your arms with my head in the crook of your neck. I want to feel you kiss my forehead as im falling asleep

I want to run my fingers up and down your bare skin. I want to wrap my legs around yours and feel you pull me closer to you

I want go fall asleep and wake up with your scent filling my nose. I want to see your sleepy stares and tired smiles

I want you to steal the blankets from me in the middle of the night and when I try to pull them back, you wrap them around my shoulder

I want you to run your fingers down my spine and kiss me softly. I want you to leave trails of kisses down my neck and my chest. I want you.



                              B.S.

"Why are you jealous of the moon?"*

This could go one of two ways. I can either be super sappy and try to sound poetic by saying something along the lines of: "The moon is this beautiful force that draws me in. Whenever I look up at it, I'm breath taken and I forget about everything I don't want to think about for a moment. I want someone to feel that when they look at me and the moon has billions of people looking at it in that way. I just want to be adored."

But the reality of it is:

The moon is surrounded by the stars and that sounds a hell of a lot better than being down here surrounded by idiots.



                                 B.S.

I still have blood on my hands from the last boy's heart I tore out who thought he had the chance to get close to me. Well, he thought wrong.



                                 B.S.

If he tells you he loves you but doesn't ever prove it, let him go.
If he pushes you down more than he picks you up, let him go.
If he doesn't make you smile like he did the first time you saw him, let him go.
If he's the reason why your pillow is soaked with tears every night, let him go.
If he ever threatens to leave you because he doesn't get his way, let him go.
If he's cracking your heart a little more everyday, let him go.
If he makes her smile while you're sitting alone crying, let him go.
If he makes you hate yourself, let him go.
If he tries to change you, let him go.
If he forces you into things you don't want, let him go.
If he's the reason for the empty feeling in your chest, let him go.
If he leaves and comes back whenever he pleases, let him go.
If you've given him more than one chance and he ***** up again, let him go.


Letting go is one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes there's nothing else you can do. Yeah, I know you love him. You're more important, though. I promise that you will be okay without him. Don't let him drag you down no matter how much you love him because I guarantee he doesn't love you as much as he claims to.



                               B.S.

Sometimes it feels like the world is going to end..
Life is hard.
People aren’t who you think they are...not everyone is good
But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be
Jobs aren’t always easy
Money isn’t always abundant
Friends come and go
Relationships end
The only consistent thing in life is yourself
As cliche as it is, everything happens for a reason
People leave your life because you don’t need them
The job you left wasn’t right for you
Your significant other was not your person like you thought they were
You are the most important person in your life
So take care of yourself
Let go of toxic things in your life
Buy that item you’ve been itching to have
Call in from work once in awhile
Give yourself a break
If you don’t love the life you have, change what is in your control
In the end, it’s not going to matter
Life isn’t forever
Be who you want to be
Love who you love
Do what makes you happy
Don’t worry about what other people think
Just give yourself a chance.

Parents teach us so many life lessons, but they never teach us about how hard it is to be in love. Being in love is the most beautiful, but most awful thing in existence. Love turns us into monsters. You'll do things you never thought you were capable of. Love will be what destroys you. You think you'll be okay without the person when they leave, but you won't be. All you'll be able to do is wonder what you could have possibly done differently to make them stay, what you did wrong, and how they could have left you so easily if they "loved" you. You'll realize that they were the one who made you feel weightless. But guess what? That feeling with disappear the moment they step out of your life.  You'll feel like you're drowning. All emotions will be drained from your body and you'll feel empty. Maybe numb if you're lucky. Don't worry, though. Things do get better. But that one special person will always hold a piece of your heart. They'll always be in the back of your mind. One day, someone else will come along and you'll forget about all your past pain. But beware. Don't allow the cycle to repeat itself. Take my advice: Save yourself. Don't fall in love.



                                 B.S.

Loving you reminded
Me of a lightning strike;
Metoric, powerful, and fierce.
Everytime your skin
Brushed mine,
It felt like you
Sent billions of volts
Of electricity through
my body  
Leaving no nerve untouched.
Your fingertips shocked my skin
Everytime you put your
Hands on me,
Leaving intricate scars
Across my body.
Your kisses stung, but I craved them.
You were dangerous,
Yet wondrous.  
And I was drawn to you.


                               B.S.

You told me that loving me hurt. It hurt to love me and I never understood why until I tried to love myself. You're right, it did hurt. I understand now that it hurts to love someone that could never love you back the way you love them. It hurts loving someone who loves the duller things in life but also loves every ******* thing this world has to offer and there's no way to keep up with them. It hurts because you don't want to hold them back from what makes them happy. It hurts loving someone who's so distant but also needs to keep you as close as possible and you have no idea how to keep them from slipping away. It hurts loving someone who never knows what they want and can never make a decision so you're constantly frustrated. It hurts loving someone who doesn't trust you or anyone that you're around. They don't trust anyone for that matter. It hurts loving someone that flinches every time you try to touch them and you have no idea why. But you know, love is supposed to hurt sometimes. Love isn't supposed to make you feel like you're constantly walking on clouds. Love makes you feel like you have an anchor chained to your ankle and it's dragging you to the bottom of the ocean. Love makes you feel a heavy weight on your chest sometimes and that's ******* okay. I get it, though. Loving me hurt. But loving me doesn't hurt anymore ever since I stopped loving you. So I guess it wasn't me, it was you. Loving me hurt because of you.




                                        B.S.

I am not going to sugar coat it, I hate you. I hate you for making me fall in love with you when you **** well knew we weren't going to work out. Why wouldn't we work out? Oh, because you're a ******* liar. I have no idea who you are. Your whole being is non-existent to me. You're not real. The sad part is, you didn't even fight to make me stay. There's no way in hell I would stay either way, but it would have been nice to know you actually did love me. Obviously every "I love you" was a lie too. I meant nothing to you. I hate you for making me feel important when we both know I am nothing. I will always be nothing. I'm just everyones toy that gets tossed in the corner whenever they're tired of playing with me. That is all I will ever be. I just wish you saw me differently.


                                B.S.

You meant the world to me. You kept me sane when I thought I might go crazy. You were my escape. I was okay for a little while after you left, but ****. My heart feels as if it has sunk deep into my chest and went into hibernation. I feel so numb and I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. There's not a lot I feel anymore, but God, when I think about how much I miss you, I can't help but tear up and feel like screaming. It's been three months and it still hurts the same. My heart stopped the day I lost you and it hasn't started beating since. Maybe that's a good thing, though.



                               B.S.

I had the same dream over and over again and I had no idea what it meant. Someone was trying to **** me in my own home, and everytime they went to stab me, they missed. It was terrifying especially since I had no idea who it was.  The last time I had the dream, I saw who was on the other end of the knife. It was me. I was trying to **** myself.

Maybe I was trying to tell myself something. Maybe  that I do have the strength to keep living.




                              B.S.

I would love if people would send me the story about the first time they fell in love. It doesn't have to be about a person. Please please please leave me stories to wake up to.

~Bri

10:23: Hey, I miss you.
11:47: I hope you're okay.
1:19: Please text me back, I'm worried.
2:10: Come back. Come back. Come back.
3:14: I'm so sorry.
3:26: I love you. Please reply.
3:58: Okay, well I'll be here if you need me.
4:17: I love you.

He never replied, but I'm still waiting.


          

                                 B.S.

It doesn't hurt. It's more of an emptiness in your chest and you don't remember why it's there. It's easy to forget why you feel like there's a part of you missing because things have slowly been fading away for awhile now.  You just drifted apart for no particular reason. The worst part is remembering how happy you were (SweetPlacidity_)               with them and realizing that things are no longer the same and they're not going to come back. Other times, it's as if they don't exist. It's unnerving how people can be so easily forgotten, how I can be forgotten. But you know,  it was a quiet ending and that's all I could have ever asked for. Thank you for leaving quietly.


                                B.S.

You wrote our story on my skin with your fingertips, except our story wasnt gentle. It was full of cuts and bruises and that's why I have so many scars



                                B.S.

"What do you hide behind your smile?"*
Behind my smile, you'll find the pain of multiple heart breaks.
Behind my smile, you'll find the deaths of people who I still haven't accepted to be gone.
Behind my smile, you'll find an insecure girl who won't allow you to see any piece of her.
Behind my smile, you'll find a lost soul.
Behind my smile, you'll find the millions of times I've said "I'm fine" when really I was in indescribable pain.
Behind my smile, you'll find unspeakable thoughts.
Behind my smile, you'll find the stress of trying to make my parents proud because I'm considered the "**** up" child.
Behind my smile, you'll find my love for sad songs.
Behind my smile, you'll find my love for twisted love stories.

Behind my smile, you'll find things you would never expect.

                                  B.S.

Your walls heard all of the confessions I whispered to you while you were asleep. They heard me talk about how terrified I was to fall for you. They heard me say that I was scared that you were going to get to know me better and you weren't going to want me anymore the first time I stayed in your bed. They heard me tell you that you made me happier than anyone ever has and that you're the reason why I can finally wake up in the morning and actually get myself out of bed. They heard me tell you that it hurts when you drink yourself sick and I'm worried that you're going to destroy yourself. They heard me tell you that I hate how you bail on me and that it makes me feel unimportant to you even though you fell asleep with me wrapped up in your arms. They heard me tell you that I could spend my entire life with you and I would never get tired of you. They heard me whisper "I love you" for the first time and then later heard me say it over and over again until I fell asleep with my face buried in your chest. Your walls have heard everything I never had the guts to say. They heard everything. I just hope that they can keep my secrets and I wonder what secrets my walls are keeping, too.




                                   B.S.

I
could
shower
myself
in
stardust
and
I
still
wouldn't
shine
as
bright
as
her*


                              B.S.

I know that one day I'm going to see you at the grocery store or the movie theater or somewhere out shopping with someone who has taken my place next to you. When I see her, all I'm gonna think is, "that used to be me." I used to hold those hands and kiss that stupid face of yours. I used to be the one who could make you smile just by looking at you.  I don't know where things went wrong, or if they ever really did. Maybe things just stopped. My world just (SweetPlacidity_).   stopped.  I wish it could still be me with you, but there's nothing I can do. I just hope she makes you feel weightless. I hope she makes you feel warm. I hope she makes you smile. I hope she does everything I couldn't. I hope she doesn't make you sad. I hope she holds your hand so tight that nothing can get between you. I hope she kisses you softly. I hope her heart aches when you're not around. I hope her lungs collapse when you leave. I hope her bones shatter when you scream. I hope when you see me, your world stops too.  





                              B.S.

Let me tell you about the first boy I fell for. I mean, really fell for.

He was different. Not in a sense that he was strange or anything like that, but in a way that he was different from most people. He had a similar thought process to me and we actually understood each other. Whenever he would start talking about something that interested him, his eyes would light up and he would put his hand on my thigh, squeezing it whenever his story got more intense. He never broke eye contact with me when it was my turn to speak. He actually listened to what I had to say and no one has ever done that for me before.

I fell for his smile the first time I saw it. I don't know why I was so drawn to it, but I was. It was contagious.

I fell for his eyes. They were dark brown, almost black and extremely easy to get lost in. Everytime he would smile, his eyes would almost completely shut because of how big he was smiling. It made my heart melt.

I fell for how his hand fit so well in mine. Everywhere we went, our fingers were interlocked so tight that nothing could break through us. In fact, whenever someone would get too close to me, his hand would tighten around mine and he'd pull me closer to him. He made me feel safe.

I fell for the way he would look at me. We would be lying next to each other and I could feel his eyes on me. I'd look at him, smile, and cover his eyes with my hand telling him not to stare at me. He would reply with, "Don't tell me what to do. I'll stare at you all I want!" All I would do was laugh and kiss him quick on the cheek.

I fell for the way he touched me. He was always touching me one way or another. He would usually run his fingertips down my side to my hip and up my back. If I got lucky enough, I would feel him brush my hair back and gently kiss my neck. I couldn't help but smile and have the urge to kiss him over and over again.

I fell for the way he slept. Even then he had to be touching me, otherwise he would wake up and drag me closer to him. He looked so peaceful. I couldn't help but kiss his cheek and run my fingers through his hair.

I fell for the way he kissed me. It was natural. His lips seemed to melt with mine and not once did he try shoving his tongue down my throat. His kisses were addictive and I could not get enough of them.

He seemed perfect. Sadly, I didn't find out how big of a ******* he was until it was too late.



                                B.S.

So I have a theory. You know how they say that when you die in a dream, you die in real life? And you know how they say that when you die, your life replays itself? Well what if you think you're dying in a dream, but it's your life replaying itself because you're actually dead and how you died in the dream is how you died in real life and that's the last thing replaying before everything goes black?

                                B.S.

I am one of the hardest people to love. If you want a challenge, I guess I'm your girl. There are a few things you should know about me, though. 1. I most likely won't trust you even though you've never wronged me. 2. I'll push you away every chance I get. Don't let me, though. I secretly want you to stay. 3. I get upset over the smallest things. 4. I'm very good at making people feel guilty. 5. I laugh at everything to keep myself from crying.
6. I let all my sadness and anger build up until I explode. 7. I am extremely stubborn and will never admit I'm wrong. 8. I hate being told what to do, so don't try pushing me around. I won't allow it. 9. I am very clingy and protective. There are reasons for that which I am not willing to explain.
10. I figure out everything so don't try lying to me. Chances are I already know the truth. 11. I hate myself. Don't ask me why. Don't tell me to love myself. Don't expect me to love me just because you do. 12. I am very insecure. If you compliment me and I tell you no, it's not because I'm fishing for more compliments or begging for attention, I just don't believe your comment to be true. 13. I can't handle arguments. If we get in a fight, I'll most likely walk out. Let me go. It's for the best. I promise I'll come back. 14. I'll love you uncondionally. Please don't take advantage of that. 15. I like going on adventures and keeping myself busy. Please don't try holding me back. I won't stay. 16. I have days where I won't speak a word. Don't try forcing me to talk. We'll both end up frustrated. 17. I won't let you in easily.
18. I like to know every detail about people, but I won't let them know a thing about me. 19. I get excited over the smallest things, especially sunsets. If I make you drop everything to come look at it, just go with it. 20. Half the things I do, don't make sense. I'll laugh at myself, so laugh along with me.
If there's something on this list you won't be able to handle, don't bother with me.

I won't change myself for you.


                                   B.S.

I remember when I was a kid I used to go into my parents room and pull off their covers so just the sheet was left. I would lift it up above my head and crawl underneath before it laid itself back down. I remember how comforting the smell of fabric softener was and to see the sun peeking through the white sheet. (Love is comfort, you are comfort) I remember loving everything and everyone without a doubt in my mind that they loved me too. (I loved you, and I know you loved me too; although you had a funny way of showing it) I remember rolling around in the grass and searching for lady bugs so I could hold them for just a second before they flew away. They interested me more than anything and I could stare at them for hours. (You caught my attention, but just like the lady bugs, you left too)  I remember  gathering flowers in a bucket so I could pluck all of the petals off and throw them around the yard so that there could be vibrant colors scattered everywhere. (Kind of reminds me of what you did to my heart) I remember the first time it snowed here I made a snowball and placed it in the freezer in hopes that it would last forever.  My mother got rid of it one day and I didn't even notice. (I tried to keep you forever too, but you slipped away without any warning) I remember finding injured birds and keeping them in a box until they were strong enough to fly away. I always loved keeping baby birds and seeing them fly off for the first time in their entire life. (I helped mend your broken heart and once you felt okay again, you moved on to bigger and better things) I remember getting into fights with my sister and one of us would end up hitting the other out of anger, but we'd be laughing ten minutes later about God knows what, forgetting why we were angry in the first place. (We constantly fought but neither of us could stay mad at the other. Maybe that was our problem.) This is what love is.



                                B.S.

Im tired.
I'm really ******** tired.
I'm tired of the lies.
I'm tired of feeling alone.
I'm tired of not being enough.
I'm tired of getting hurt.
I'm tired of being heart broken.
I'm tired of caring too much.
I'm tired of hiding my feelings.
I'm tired of running away.
I'm tired of being used.
I'm tired of being manipulated.
I'm tired of being pushed around.
I'm tired of feeling weighed down.
I'm tired of being me.

I'm
    so
        ****
              tired


                                 B.S.

Pretend you love me just for tonight