I'm so sorry that I keep pushing you away.
My chest tightens at the thought of being in love.
I've been hurt so many **** times that it physically makes me sick to think about falling for someone again.
God, you mean so much to me, but I have no idea how to show it.
I'm scared.
Terrified for that matter.
I don't want to get hurt, but I don't want to lose you.
You make me happy, but I can't show you.
You make me feel again, but I won't tell you.
Because of you, I genuinely smile, but I won't let you see.
I just want to crawl under my covers and pretend I don't exist.
I don't want to fall for you.



                               B.S.

The winter air was fresh and cool,
but became more harsh
as the night went on.
It traveled through my body
at an optimal speed leaving
no nerve untouched by
its frigid breath.
It stung my skin,
turning it a bright
rosy color.
That was nothing, though.
It started numbing my cheeks,
traveling to my hands
and every other part of my body
that was exposed to the dangers
of the winter.
The icy feeling sunk deep
into my bones and every crevice
it could find which caused
my body to tense up
and shake so uncontrollably
that I couldn't function properly.
The sad thing is,
this is what it felt like to love you.


                                 B.S.

Day 1: No, you're not gone. You're just busy. You're still mine.
Day 2: Why did you leave. I can't breathe. How could you do that?
Day 3: I'm okay.
Day 4: *******. I hate you. I hope I never speak to you or see you again.
Day 5: I love you.
Day 6: Please come back.
Day 7:  You're the biggest *******. You never deserved me.
Day 8: I miss you.
Day 9:  God, you hurt me so badly. Why do I still want you?
Day 10: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
Day 11: You promised me forever.
Day 12: I don't need you.
Day 13: I feel empty.
Day 14: I'm fine.


                              B.S.