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Sunny Snow Jan 2013
PART 1→ Fate Put Us Together For A Reason…

Once upon a time on a blue and green planet there lived, humans; a rebellious species, prone to both war and peace. Among these humans lived two very special people. Their names were Marco and Gina, and little did they know, that they’d become heroes of earth, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves a little.

Let’s begin with our heroine Gina; she went to the same high school as Marco, though she did not share the same social status. Gina was what you’d call an art nerd. She spent the majority of her days at Hill-Town High in the art room. She could paint, draw, sculpt, mold, fire, and shape anything into existence. She had what you’d call, a gift, for art itself. Gina also spent most of her days alone. She had just moved to Hill-Town from out of state; thus not knowing anyone, she lacked a social life. That and it really didn’t help the fact that she was one of the most timid young ladies known to man. She had a whisper of a voice, and bright blue eyes that often leaked tears down her pale soft face. She wore her long black hair down to cover up her gorgeous face, mainly due to being insecure about her looks. She often wore band t-shirts and jeggings or ripped jeans. The first person Gina met at Hill-Town High was our hero Marco.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry” Gina gasped accidently running right into Marco, the star quarterback for Hill-Town High. “Don’t sweat it ***, really it’s no problem, here let me help you pick up your books” Marco caringly replied. Still Gina insisted she could clean up this mess herself, trying very hard to avoid the blood pumping towards her cheekbones. Why was he so kind to me she asked herself? He could have simply brushed her off like light snowfall, but he didn’t. This puzzled Gina for at least a week; it mainly confused her because no one had ever offered to help her, especially a hansom young lad such as Marco Johnson, star quarterback. He kept waving to her in the halls, and grinned at her as if he was trying to avoid blushing as well just like the moment they met.

Time passed and neither Gina nor Marco had made a move, though it was getting to the point where they both knew **** good and well, that they liked each other. It was now spring and school was coming to a close, finals where lurking down the hallways and students began to get excited. Soon the last day came…

“Hey, your name’s Gina right?” oh, he’s talking to me Gina panicked inside unsure of what to say back. “Yeah, that’s me” she replied. “Well Ms. Gina I was kind of thinking, I know you like me…” oh ****! He knows, she thought. “and I was wondering if you knew, I like you too?” Marco began to do a little dance of flirtation. “And further more I was wondering if such a lady as yourself, would like to accompany me on this thing called a date lets say this Saturday night?” Marco finished cunningly. Gina froze, was Marco seriously asking her out, or was she being punked or something? “Um, ah, I mean yes, totally, I’d love to.” Gina replied. “Cool I’ll pick you up at let’s say seven tomorrow night then.” And with that Marco disappeared down the crowded hallway. Gina sighed, what the hell am I gonna wear she though, no, no what the hell am I gonna do? Gina had never been on a real actual date before. So her parents would for sure have something to say about a boy of all humans pulling up in their drive way and sweeping up their little girl.

Saturday at 7pm came and Marco marched his way up to Gina’s front door. Unfortunately her father answered. “Who are you” mumbled the tall lanky man who was Mr. Delaware. “I’m Marco, Gina’s date…” Marco replied nervously. “Oh well, step inside son, she should be down in a second, but you know how long girls take to get ready” chuckled Mr. Delaware. Once Marco stepped inside the mismatched old house, the awkward silence between the two began to grow. That is until Gina came running down the stairs…

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaad” she exclaimed, “Where the hell is my…” she paused seeing Marco at the bottom of the stairs…”Hairbrush” she finished. “well I think you look fine as is” said Marco in the sweetest voice possible. “haha, ok well there goes needing to brush up” laughed Gina.

Gina and Marco then said their goodbye to Mr. Delaware, and headed out the door and into Marco’s Old Chevy Silverotto. “So where to?” asked Marco. “How about that one drive-in theater off highway 91?” suggested Gina. “Nice idea ***. I’ve been wanting to go there for ages” replied Marco.

The two departed out of the Delaware’s driveway; it was roughly a half hour drive to get to the drive-in from Gina’s house. Marco put the radio on and they soon found out how big a music buff they both were. They began challenging each other back and forth to “name that tune”. Gina couldn’t stop grinning and neither could Marco, it seemed as if they were meant to be there, together.

Just when all seemed to be going as planned, Marco’s truck began to make a funny sound. He pulled over to check the engine, Gina followed. “I can’t figure out what the problem is, I just got this out of the shop like a week ago” exclaimed Marco, he was a little up in knots about his truck not working, especially while being on a date with a pretty girl.

Then out of nowhere both looked up, hearing a loud rumble headed their way. It was something like a meteor, but it wasn’t from what they could tell. They noticed it landed about a mile west of them. Once it landed and they heard the huge BOOM in the distance, Marco asked Gina if she’d like to go see whatever it was with him. Unsure but wanting to know herself, she said she’d go with.

They set off towards where they saw whatever it was land. Half way there both became a little tired, and without thinking they sat down below an old willow tree, and soon both fell into a deep sleep…

PART 2→ Waking Up In Another World…

“Hey, hey, Gina, wake up.” Marco started to shake Gina. “Hey” Gina said sleepily. “Um, Gina, I don’t think we’re in the same place we fell asleep in” said Marco. “What do you mean? We didn’t go any…” then Gina opened her eyes, noticing Marco was right, they weren’t in the same place. It was almost as if…no…they thought, it couldn’t be, another planet, that was completely not possible. But as legend has it, they were, they had somehow came upon a planet in the Andromeda galaxy, one galaxy over from ours. This planet had been undiscovered by human kind, and its name is Linx. Linx at first, looked as if it was deserted.

The two began to panic, unsure of their surroundings, knowing they couldn’t be on their own planet, and wondering why they had oxygen and how had they gotten to this place? They began to argue and fuss, scared of what could happen or what had already happened. Then they saw a figure, somewhat like their own walking towards them from the distance. They could tell he couldn’t be human, he had greenish-blue tinted skin and long purple hair. As he drew closer, they became more terrified.

“I’ve never seen anything like him” said Gina, “he looks nothing like an alien.” said Marco. Both shocked and somewhat in shock, they stared pale in the face.

“I’m so sorry, I thought, I mean, gosh, I’m awful sorry. You humans must be scared shitless right now.” Said the tall greenish-blue man coming up to them. Both looked at each other, wide eyed and seriously confused. How in the hell did he know their language?

“Look I can read your minds, and I swear I’m not here to probe your brains, or eat you, and I know your language because I’ve studied the human race for quite some time. My name is Zee, and you are on another planet. My spaceship crashed on earth when I was crossing the Milky Way galaxy and so I attempted to beam my way back here and somehow you two got caught in my beam.” Said Zee, he had a tone in his voice of apology and worry. He knew they were scared and very intimidated.

Marco, after hearing Zee’s explanation then proceeded to faint. Gina then stood up “ok so you’re telling me we got transported here by mistake? So does that mean you can get us back?” Gina began to boarder line yell at Zee. She went on for about ten minutes, that is until Zee interrupted her.

“Look, human” he said “I accidently got you here, and getting just me here, takes a ton of energy, energy humans can only dream of, and if you want to get back to your pretty little planet, I’d suggest you ask a little more kindly towards the one who can get you there. My kind would burn you alive if they knew there were humans on this planet, I however am willing to protect you from my own kind. Meaning I could die too. So pipe down and help your friend he seems to have passed out due to shock.”

Gina then humbled herself, finally grasping what Zee had said. She then attended to Marco, who was coming around finally. “So what you’re telling me, is we have a slight chance of going home?” Gina asked Zee. “Unfortunately a very slim chance” said Zee hesitantly…”see the leader of my planet, Linx, has disliked humans for a long time and well, he recently destroyed planet earth.” Zee said. This made both Gina and Marco puzzled for a second. How could it have been destroyed?

“What can we do then?” Asked Marco; “well our leader Zorix also has the power to turn back time, but convincing him to restore earth will be one hell of a battle, first we’ll need to seek you into the castle he lives in, next get you face to face with him, and lastly get him NOT to **** you” replied Zee.

“Well then, seeing as we got a lot of work to do, we better get a move on” Gina insisted. And at that the three brave friends set off towards Zorix’s castle.

PART 3→ What Happens Behind Castle Walls, Stays Behind Castle Walls…

The three hiked a good five miles to get to Zorix’s castle, once they got there, they had to figure out how they were going to manage getting two humans inside without getting caught.

“Well we could dress up like you Zee” suggested Marco. “No, they will see right through it, but nice idea” replied Zee. He was convinced there’d be no way to get them inside without getting caught, that is until Zee had a brilliant idea.

“I could make it look like you are my prisoners, and somehow get you close to Zorix” Zee brightly stated. They all agreed that it was the best idea they had.

At this, Zee lead Gina and Marco inside the castle. It was a dimly lit, cold, wet place. A place where, without a doubt, humans went to die. The whole hallway just screamed death and destruction. Little did Gina and Marco know, Zee had been keeping something from them; He was Zorix’s son.

When they got to the grand room, a room with ginormous ceilings and no windows, just lanterns and chandeliers, the first thing that caught their eyes, was the tall, slim figure that was Zorix. He, like Zee had blueish-green skin but instead of having purple hair like Zee he had bright orange hair, almost as if it was glowing neon.

“Son” said Zorix in a cheerful and loving voice. Son? Gina and Marco looked at each other in confusion, unsure of their future now.

“Hey dad” replied Zee in a much less cheerful tone. “What is this unannounced greeting my son?” Zorix said cunningly.

“I’ve brought these humans, their names are Gina and Marco. I accidently beemed them here by mistake when crossing the Milky Way galaxy. I take full responsibility for them, they have become my friends and I’m here on their behalf.” Zee took a sigh of sorrow, he knew his father would be disgraced.

“So you’re siding with these pesky humans over our supreme race? Is that what I’m hearing” roared Zorix.

Zee hung his head, looking at the marble flooring, and mumbled “Yes father”

“Well maybe you’d like to join them in their fate” said Zorix, as if he was unsure if he was ready to **** his own son, because of what he believed. His voice at first was confident but near the end began to shake.

“Actually I’d like to challenge your army to a duel, if we win, you use your strength to reverse the destroy of their planet, Earth. If we lose…” Zee almost choked on his next words…”Then you can do what you will with us” he finished.

PART 4→ Duel or Die…
This is the beginning of my half *** short story. Its getting longer and longer, but not enough to become a book. So I guess its a long short story. Please comment, and let me know if there's anything I can do to make this better (BTW this is a rough draft) Thankx, Bex
3.7k · Nov 2013
Thank God Im Adventurous
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
Ive always wanted to move on, and get going with my life...but it can be hard when, your packing your bags frantically, and someone is always right beside you, unpacking every little nick-kack. But, thats how it is when your addicted to living how I do. Drugs to cover the tears, ***** to show I have some sense of self worth, and friends who cant stay clean for too long, if at all. But what keeps me trying to pack my bags, is I know I can be more than just high on the sofa every afternoon watching adventure time. And instead get out there and have my own adventures.
1.8k · Jan 2013
Self Esteem Builder
Sunny Snow Jan 2013
For the longest time,
The stage was nothing but a dream.
The microphone,
Unapproachable…
Nervous shaking legs,
And red cheeks
Kept me away…
Now I stand here,
Confidant,
And the mic
Is like an old arch enemy,
I’m now on good terms with.
Given I still feel shy,
Timid to talk louder,
But just vocal enough
To say something right.
That and it always helps,
To have a warm crowd,
People who don’t mind
If you babble about
Such nonsense as
Having stage fright,
They might be just as nervous
As I am,
Thus able to relate,
I begin to feel a connection.
I’m no longer afraid to look up,
Look at the eyes,
I was once afraid to see.
Knowing,
All of them where staring back at me.
Now the stage is my playground,
And this room,
Is becoming like home,
With it’s red cozy chairs,
And it’s wine’s and it’s beer’s
Chasing away my fear
To stand up here,
And say,
I’m just glad to be here…
1.5k · Oct 2013
If Barbie Had Wings
Sunny Snow Oct 2013
She probably wanted to be free,
I've wanted to be free of it all sometimes too.
I wonder if she grew wings before she fell?
Cause you could see the pain in her eyes
when you saw her cry.
And you could feel the anger in her voice,
from a past that wasn't her choice.
But you could also hear a person in need,
a woman dying to be free,
free of the hurt and sorrow life had given her.
But also a girl who didn't want give in yet.
She was the only Queen in Drag,
who could strut her stuff like a Barbie.
She could make everyone smile,
Just by walking in the room and grinning.
She will always be missed,
So let me "Blow you,
One last kiss"
Cause I know you liked P!nk,
What Barbie wouldn't?
Now life continues on,
But I'll never forget the wings Ms. Barbie had
when she was alive.
She was a bright, colorful woman,
filled to the brink with energetic personality.
Goodbye my dear friend.
One of my friends, (and current BF's ex-gf) committed suicide on October 13th, 2013. So I wrote this for her, in memory of her.
Sunny Snow Jun 2013
Took me roughly five years to get past a past I despised…
He cheated, he lied, he left me high and dry.

Now I’m trying to get by the image of you,
Holding me in such a way,
Where the whole world stood still,
And watched…

Watched and saw how amazing we could have been…
So sue me…I MISS YOU!

I miss how you actually were approved by BOTH,
My Catholic parents…

I miss how we’d laugh,
Falling asleep to trippy movies in your room
With no air-conditioning.

I miss how you were the first person
To teach me how to roll a joint properly.
So we went out to your front porch
And smoked a J to ourselves.

And mostly I miss you,
Because you were the first guy,
To break my heart…in the most perfect way.

Let me cry on your shoulders
In East Towne Mall’s parking lot
For at least a half hour.

You told me I deserve better…
As you wiped away my tears,
But what you don’t know,
Is I don’t want any other…

Cause none of them,
Can add up to what WE could have had.

Cause baby I loved you…
Like a dying breath,
Loves that last bit of air
That helps you to tell the ones you care about,
You will always, always love them.

Call me crazy,
But you broke me so well,
That no doctor can fix me,
Not even the one’s on TV.

So shoot me…I LOVED YOU!
I've only fell in love twice in my lifetime. The first one cheated on me back in high school (no *** involved) and the second broke up with me in the most perfect way to the point where I can't hate him in order to get over him. So this poem is mainly about the second one.

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1.3k · Dec 2013
Mommy & Me
Sunny Snow Dec 2013
Her birthday is on the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party,
She love to garden and cook,
Guess you can blame that on her Italian heritage.
She has one tattoo I convinced her to get with me,
A humming bird on our right foot…
She has silver shinny hair,
And loves to scrapbook and take pictures where ever we go.

But most of all,
She’s my mother and my best friend.
She keeps all my little secrets,
And her ears are always ready to listen.
(Even when I talk them off)

Some of my happiest memories,
Are of being in her company.

Spa night’s with hair rapped up in a towel,
And nails painted, and laughs till bedtime.
Girls weekends at my apartment,
Sipping Blue Nun wine and watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”

But the thing that gets me most is,
She is and always will be there
When I feel no one else is.

When I first dealt with depression and bipolar,
I was scared, and I felt alone.
But she held me through every nightmare,
And dried every single tear,
Cause that’s what mommies do best.

And believe me when I say she should get
The mother of the year award,
Cause I may be adopted,
But when people ask me who my mom is,
I say her,
Cause she deserves that title more than anyone in the universe!
For my mom's birthday I wrote this piece.
983 · Dec 2013
Rave like its ur Life
Sunny Snow Dec 2013
Turn it up, play it loud. Drop the bass, make 'em shout. Take me to my happy place, erase all the *******, and make it all glow like the lazer lights and smoke machines. Cuz tonight, all I want is to dance, forget, dream and repeat the cycle till im blazed on the high of life. Riding the waves of euphoria like a surfer of high tides. C'est ma vie, live it up and never leave. Letting the music overtake me giving me goosebumps beyond the skin. Feeling my heart beat speed up, and remembering what it is to fall in love again.
972 · May 2013
Growing Up
Sunny Snow May 2013
The night exposes our deepest fears,
Examines all our weaknesses,
Turns us inside out,
And opens our eyes…
To the monster within, each of us…

Then with the dawn
We wake from our nightmare.
We live life blinded by the light,
Uninformed of what truly lies within us.

Our sight strays from who we are,
To who we wish we could be.
Glued to the TV screen
And entertainment magazines,
“Mommy I wanna be famous when I grow up!”

What are we teaching our young?
To get laid by age sixteen,
Just to get on that silver screen?
To sell who they are,
Just to be accepted?

Why do we fear if our son is gay?
Even if he’s truly happy that way…
Why do we push our girls to fit in?
When we know they have better friends somewhere else…

The night brings to attention,
The fact that life isn’t all sunshine and daisies.
Because through failure,
Hopefully comes learning experience.

Is that what you fear,
Your child will hurt,
Regardless of what you do,
They will feel pain,
Just as you and I do.

All you can do,
Is support their choices,
Back them when no one else will.
Cause you can’t hold their hand forever.

I’ve had my fair share of ******* things up…
And came out on the other side,
All in one piece and better for it.

I embrace the night,
I allow my thoughts to wander,
In both the light and the dark.
Balance is everything here,
So let loose of insecurity
And don’t be afraid of life…
mainly about the transformation to adulthood
887 · Dec 2012
If You Give Bex Alcohol
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
If You give Bex alcohol,
Shes going to want a cigarette,
And everybody knows,
If You give Bex a cigarette,
Shes going to want to go outside.
If Bex gets to go outside,
Shes going to want to do kartwheels,
Once Bex has done her kartwheels,
She'll probably want to run around,
And if Bex runs around,
Shes going to get tired
And want to take a nap.
And everybody knows,
That when Bex wakes up...
Shes going to want...
More alcohol...
The end!
A rip off of the children's book "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie"
831 · Jan 2013
Poker, Booze & Love
Sunny Snow Jan 2013
There’s nothing like drunken strip poker, Texas holdem’ style, to make you feel like your home. Friends have always been like the family I wish I had, and this is what we’d call “good quality family time”. Cause there’s nothing like blasting Flogging Molly and slurring the lyrics the whole way through. I’m just happiest here; here with people I love as if they were my own kin. I’d take a bullet for everyone in that space, because a life without them, life would be near impossible to live. See these people built me back up when I thought there was nothing left of me to build. It’s nights like these I won’t forget; cause when we party, we go all out. Go big, or go home; cause nothing is a risk, because you’re surrounded by people who care. People who don’t ******* you, and people who you know, no matter what, they will always be there. And if people were poker cards, I’d be lady luck, cause I got the best of friends, to the point where I can’t lose.
Sunny Snow Jun 2013
A basketball game is like a well conducted, beautifully written symphony. The tip off, a conductor raises his/her hands to motion the beginning of sound. As fingers reach for the orange ball and slam it in a favored direction, music takes flight and volume rises, the crowd roars as a basket is taken by the home team. Rapid pace movement of the squeaking shoes are multiple violin’s strings and bows at work, consistently changing and controlling the tune. The blare of the brass section, the scream of the fans come together in perfect unison, adding texture to the piece. The slam against the backboard, the bass drum sounds off, the dribble of the ball, a high hat’s tap-ity, tap, tap. Music is created in every pass, jump, shot, foul, score, and aspect of this game…from the smallest move to the loudest upset, from the softest flute to the biggest percussion instrument…music is present here and now
797 · Oct 2013
What Are Friends For?
Sunny Snow Oct 2013
Life has NEVER been easy,
But that’s why FRIENDS exist…
They say
“Bros before Hoes” and
“Chicks before *****”,
but there will come a day
where those sayings
will be HARD to go by,
and still keep EVERYONE you love happy.
In the end,
both matter…
still
“When we grow up
(if we ever do)
and I’m getting married to God knows who…
I want you standing right beside me,
giving me the ‘ok’
to say my ‘I do’.”
Because you were there long before any promise ring,
and you saw me through EVERYTHING!
So this is for all my sisters
and all my brothers,
You mean so much to be,
and you all are everything I wish to be someday.
I love you guys too much.
Friend poem
790 · Dec 2012
The Image of a High
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
Time speeds up, as motions slow down. My mind begins to wander, my ears observe the sounds, eyes start to drift from place to place, aimlessly floating as my synapses race back and forth. I am transparent, loose, and free. Jumping through my past, present and a potential future; peering through the hour glass, watching time literally slip right through my hands. Tracing the figures that outline what I know to be you. This soft, caressing touch, gentile hands brush the skin. Everything's enhanced, every sense heightened; so much to the point where any doubt, any fear, any anxiety is diluted through the image of a high, because I am invincible, yet so mortal and real. Every feeling I observe I can completely take in and experience to the fullest. This beauty and appreciation for my life, this open frontier, and my adventure is out there...waiting to be explored.
What I've heard about what a high is like, and some of what I know...
776 · Dec 2012
My Pal Marlboro
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
My pal Marlboro is a good bud to have,
He can be a **** sometimes,
Still hes always there when I need him.
He can get a little "hot headed" sometimes
But hes smokin went hes angry
So i dont mind.
I loved my pal Marlboro,
Till the day he died...
See Marlboro,
He passed away this afternoon,
We burried him in the snow,
And said our goodbyes
But then,
I found another Marlboro,
He was in my purse the whole time.
I am weird, and love cigarettes :)
776 · Nov 2013
he made me beautiful
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
"You dont know what your mouth says"
I scream into the darkness.
Tripping over the drugs
I take to cover up the pain,
The pain of 15-16 years of verbal abuse.
My own family,
You took me, adopted me,
You should have known the risk.
Your words left scars,
Left tears the stained,
And wholes never mendened
Everytime you told me youd stop
But you didnt.
And soon it began to feel like I was
Never enough...
Not good enough of a daughter,
Not good at picking friends or the person I dated.
Not good at getting ok grades.
Not enought in general.
And now,
Thats how I usually feel
When im supposed to feel good.
Im not enough for you or anyone.
Till I met him. ..
He tore out all the pain
He stripped away all the fear
All the yelling and cornering,
And replaced it with love.
Now I am healing
And my scars pealing in to
Someone beauitful
About verbal and emotional abuse
768 · Dec 2012
Candle Lit Memories
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
Candles lit,
And the lights are low,
“Night Moves” By Bob Seger
Set the background tune…
This is a perfect moment
Just waiting to happen.
Reminiscing about
Smokey shot-gun kisses,
And long nights
I can’t forget…
Staying up
Just talking…
We’d go on and on
About whatever
We could think up…
Still those days have past,
You and I
Have moved on,
Leaving times
Such as these
In the dust.

Candles are glowing,
And all sources of light
Are dimmed…
“Alive” By Adelitas Way
Plays over and over
Like a Goo Goo Dolls song
I used to sing…
Taking me back to
Standing out on the slow songs,
At all the school dances…
Reminding me,
I’ll always be this
Hopeless Romantic…
Someday I’ll find him,
But for now,
I just dream…

Candles start to flicker,
And the lights in the room
Begin to get dimmer,
As the sun begins to set outside
The song “I Will Be There”
By Art Of Dying
Is ringing out my laptop screen,
My mind starts to dream,
Back to the days of childhood fun,
Back in the day,
When we would run around
Like we ran the West Side of town.
Riding our bikes up East Pass
Just to hang around
The Walgreens and Papa John’s
Having fun
And forgetting,
Someday we’ll grow up…

Sitting on my apartment floor,
All grown up
And on my own…
I light one more candle,
The Guardian Angel lights up,
Sometimes I just
Have to remind myself,
I’m not alone…
This new place,
Isn’t far from home,
But every now and then,
I have to remind me,
It’s not too far away…
Same goes for all these memories,
They’ll always be here,
Sitting in my heart
Waiting for someone
To ignite them
And let them burn
So when I return,
They’ll be warm and cozy,
Making these four walls,
A little less scary…
basically about what it's like to know you are indeed growing up and the adjusting it can take to be comfortable with it.
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
You know that feeling
When you get inspired
Something deep inside you
Is locked and loaded
Ready to transpire
Making thoughts come to life
Making what you feel
Burst into flames
And burn…

It’s like a warm campfire,
And the smell of
Smores and hotdogs
Are on the tips of your tongue,
Like back in the days
When you where younger…

Cause when you’re four years old
Everything seems to be so alive
Cause you’re not worried about
“How the hell will I make ends meet?”
Or “How will I survive?”
You’re so focused on living
That life tends to slip away…

When life slips,
You soon begin to notice,
That things aren’t the way
They used to be,
Seeing that inspiration
Doesn’t come as quickly…

Sometimes it’ll take
What feels like forever,
Just to get those
Old dusty synapsis to fly,
Take flight and mirror
What I feel inside…

Cause digging deep is easy,
Translating it though,
Can take some time.
See my soul
Speaks Latin,
A language of love to the core…

I only speak English
With a bit of French
Which is quite poorly done…

I try so **** hard,
Just to pour out my soul,
And let you splash around
Till your soaked with my ideas,
Shivering with my experiences
I just want you to understand…

What I’ve been through,
What I’ve survived,
How I was before I had to fight,
Just to stay alive…

See when I was little
To be inspired
Was a natural state of being,
Now it’s just
Plugging my mind
Into an outlet
Hopping the socket
Isn’t dead yet…

Cause I’m dying a little
Each and every day…
I just want my words
To have some meaning
So when I am gone,
They’ll all have something to say…

I don’t wanna change the world,
I’d be satisfied with
One heart,
One mind,
One soul…

Cause ever since I decided,
That putting my pen to the paper,
Was a good idea,
I’ve wanted to impact
To change someone,
Just one…

Cause life’s a big domino effect,
If I can open your mind,
Maybe you can do the same some day?

All I want is to inspire,
So I pour out my soul,
And write my life away…
I was listening to "Blood Poetry" By: Grieves and totally just got this odd feeling that I should write...so yeah.
712 · May 2013
Sexual Confidence
Sunny Snow May 2013
Skin on skin,
The feeling of sweet sin,
The touch of another,
Sends sparks up my spine,
The fact that,
For tonight,
You’re all mine…

Mine to kiss,
Mine to hold,
Mine to dominate,

And I am yours…

Yours to please,
Yours to fill the needs,
Yours to take over,

I like the rough on the gentle,
I beg for more…

More of you,
More of me,
More of us,
Moving as one…

Cause in someway I feel completed,
When I have a lover near,
Just the fact that I am valued,
Makes all blurry,
Now clear.

And at least for now,
I’m all yours to have.
Sunny Snow Sep 2013
I always said I'm an open book,
I'll tell you anything you wanna know...
Truth is, that book, is only 98% open,
And that 2% that's closed...
Accounts for 200% of what actually goes on in my head,
And about 120% of that 200,
I haven't even figured out yet...
So basically only 80% is possible to get off my chest.
So only 178% of the grand totel of 300%,
Is what you could see of me,
But only if I think you won't **** me over in the end.
And believe me that 122% that's left over,
Unspoken for, weighs more than you can imagine.

I'm not telling you this for pitty,
I'm not sharing the truth,
In the hopes for anything in return.
Cause sometimes, all I need, all anyone needs,
Isn't advice, it isn't pitty, it's not attention,
It's just a nice way of saying,
"Shut up, I'm talking...and I haven't talked, for years."
And all you want, is someone to listen,
Nod their head occasionally.

Cause knowing that someone is listening,
Is the greatest gift, you could ever give someone.

See I've gone long stretches of time,
Not saying a word, just listening.
I care, and I know you won't listen to my advice,
So I sit there, let you bleed your true thoughs,
Till their staining every piece of me.

At the same time, I give up venting.
I keep my mouth shut, so your's can feel better.
But every now and then...
I can't stay silent.
And that 178% I do show usually,
Has dropped to 50%.
Unable to emotionally breathe,
I get to the point where all I want to do,
Is scream, put a hole threw the wall, and let out the pain.

But I don't, I sit down with a good friend,
And say, "Don't speak, just listen.
I don't want advice, I don't need your opinion
I just need to get out some ****."
And unleash the full 300% at 100mph.

People say I shouldn't just let my emotions "volcano" over,
But I think it works...
Cause everytime I bite my lip and listen,
I feel better.
Yeah, I'm suppressing my own ****,
To help you unpack yours...
But sometimes, what you say,
Is what I need to hear.

Cause no matter how much you add up to in baggage,
We all carry an insane amount of ******* on our shoulders.
It's why we have each other.
You pat my back, and I'll wipe your tears,
And together, we'll make it through.
Basically this is about how we think, "I'm the only one who hurts" sometimes. Truth is everybody does in some way. We think "oh they can't hurt as much as I do, their successful!" but chances are maybe they do, it's not our place to judge...and instead just listen. Cause sometimes, you just need to talk and vent at 100mph. :)
692 · Dec 2012
Guardian Angel
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
I don’t mind leaving myself completely vulnerable,
Go ahead, expose every ounce of me.
I have been exploited,
I have been used,
I have been beaten down and broken,
So many times,
To the point where…
Leaving myself wide open,
Is nothing new…

I’m rarely ever religious,
But my spirituality is at an all time high.
Let’s say there is a higher power,
And let’s say it did create mankind.

Cause I believe in guardian angels,
Angels with no wings on their backs,
And no glowing halos upon their heads,
But angels, that walk among us…

Angels, that are you, and me…

See when this higher power made man,
They saw that he was alone,
(For we all feel alone sometimes)…
So this higher being gave man,
The gift of a woman,
A friend, a partner in crime.

We are meant to have our fellow human’s back,
Not stab it, and betray them.

So I extend my hand,
To anyone willing to take hold…

See because I am so torn apart,
I understand what truly lies within
Every human being’s heart…

I can comprehend the fact that,
No matter good or evil,
No matter pure or deluted,
We are all human,
Bound to malfunction…

We all have our trials,
Our problems, our demons if you will…
But we also have one another.

I know for a fact why I’m here, living,
I was created to open eyes,
To let people know,
You are never, ever,
Truly alone…

I remember what it’s like,
To feel like you’re invisible,
To think you have no value,
To believe you are a nobody…

And my dear friend,
I can honestly look you in those wonderful eyes,
And tell you,
From the depths of my heart,
I am here,
And I’m not leaving…

You might think
You mean nothing to the world,
But you mean the world to me…

I don’t care who you are,
I don’t judge a past you can’t change,
I just want you to know,
If you need me, I’m here…

See this is how I mend my own broken pieces,
This is how I sew back together the tattered soul I wear,
I give my life to my fellow man,
Not for something in return,
But because I know,
It only takes one smile
To make happiness contagious.

I leave myself as wide open,
As a public library,
With no key for the door…

I ask you to invade my mind,
To walk around, and explore…
In hopes you will walk away,
With some piece of me,
That makes you more complete…

For we are all broken into small particles,
But we have each other to complete
The puzzle of ourselves and life as we know it.

So I willing give you any piece of me
You wish to transfer to your internal memory,
And gladly will copy any file you wish to store.

I life not for myself,
But for the thrill,
Of knowing…
I can create a smile upon your face.

Now do you understand,
Why I let you pick my soul apart?
I want you to not be afraid to dig deeper,
I want you to look me in these eyes,
And see this beating heart…
And know,
Just because you think you don’t belong
In a world such as this…

You will always be a king/queen
In this pulsing, breathing, human being.

Because the only reason
You believe you are a nobody,
Without value or price,
Is because to me,
You carry something
No one could ever buy…

For to me,
You are priceless and precious,
And should never be for sale.

You my dear,
Are a guardian angel…
Watched the movie "Titan A.E" and it got me thinking about the human race and all that jazz. So that's how this poem came about.
684 · May 2013
No Idea...
Sunny Snow May 2013
HISTORY LESSON:
Teardrops and blood stain the heart,
Guess you could say,
We’re all ****** up from the start.
Built to fail, fail to learn,
But so many don’t get a good education.
We follow history’s footsteps,
Just to repeat their mistakes,
Taking away nothing from our past,
Cause we’re to lazy to learn it.

MUSIC:
I like my music loud,
For the main reason,
Of being able to block out the world.
A big *******
To all who say dreams are impossible,
To all who doubt my skill.
This is what I really think…

TRYING:
I think we don’t try hard enough,
I believe we have more potential
Than we are told…

**** LIFE:
I say **** the world,
**** what they think,
More like what do you think…
What do you care about,
What do you want to change?

RANTING:
Ranting is my greatest strength,
I could go on for hours on end,
So many things to be ****** about,
And so little time to vent…

RANDOM:
I make no sense in this poem,
But what makes sense anymore,
We are chucked into life,
Expected to know certain things,
That never are taught.
So **** the system…
HATE OF LOVE:
I don’t understand love anymore,
Guys have become animals,
And woman have turned into ******,
Why can’t people get the fact,
That love is something beautiful,
Not a version of lust
Meant only to be abused!

**** LIFE AGAIN:
Ha, I take life and grab it by the *****
Saying “******* too man”
Just to **** with it’s head.

**** **** ****:
God I love that word!
I love swearing in general,
Let me just get it all out…
MOTHER *******,
LITTLE ****,
******* *******,
LITTLE BASTERD OF A *****…
IDEK…

BORED…:
I hate being bored,
In between my four bedroom walls,
I’m left to my own thoughts,
Thus left to my own demise,
Cause thinking well,
Is only thinking bad thoughts…
In disguise.

DEAD:
Can I just be dead already?
I’ve lost all meaning of life…
I’ve lost all sense of purpose,
But that’s only for tonight…
Tomorrow I’ll wake up,
And everything will be fine,
(Or so I hope),
And maybe I’ll move on,
Or just drown myself in sin…

THE END…………….
just a bunch of poems mixed up as one I guess, I never really figured out what to do with each part, I'd love to hear suggestions.
670 · Oct 2013
Polluting Mother Nature
Sunny Snow Oct 2013
That **** world keeps trying to end itself. Everyone seems to think the solution to pollution is put more terrible **** on top to cover up the fact that things won't get better that way. No drug can fix me, No amount of ***** could be the cure, and no matter how many packs of Marb's I smoke, It won't get rid of the stress and the worry. All I want for anyone, is to keep them safe, I guess that's why I want to be a mother when I grow up. Guess you could say I want to be like Mother Nature, cause it's natural for me to protect, even if it hurts me in someway. But somehow I let people pollute me, I even end up doing that myself. I'm so sick of black lungs, sore throats, hangovers, come-downs, etc, etc, etc. Maybe that's why I think the world is trying to end itself, the fact that being clean, isn't always exceptable. Given I'm not sure I could get clean. Never was the type to be "lemony fresh" type, cause sometimes the pollution works, but only a temporary fix. So knowing that we think if we end, we will start all over, but none of us know if we really will. For some that dawn is too much of a risk, cause they think the grass won't be greener. Others try so hard to end. And we are torn.
Sometimes I feel really ruled over by drugs, *****, and cigs. Given I like them, but I know I can be better without them too. I don't like dependency.
658 · Mar 2014
Worthless Love
Sunny Snow Mar 2014
I am beautiful,
I am beautiful,
I am beautiful,
She writes on the chalkboard
Over and over and over,
Unconvinced of the words she writes.
She hasn’t really ever felt as if
SHE was worth someone’s love.
Finding it hard to see,
There could be beauty.
She thinks back to why she feels so terrible.
Maybe it was the way
She didn’t plan to get involved with him,
Yet she still did.
Not drugged, not seduced,
But she remembers her body going docile,
And feeling as if she wanted to scream “NO”
But couldn’t move her lips.
She wanted for so long to forget,
But somehow,
The thoughts always trace back to that moment
When she began to correct to wrongs
That had happened upon her that day.
She would say,
“This time I’ll love him/her”
“This time will be different”
But it never was.
Only once had it been different,
And that one slipped away,
As she feel back into her pattern
Of wanting something more,
And soon,
Not wanting anyone at all.
And now she stands,
Writing, tears streaming down her face,
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I am beautiful
I…am…beautiful…
about ****, and how it has effected the writer.
627 · Nov 2013
My Soundtrack
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
Every wave length moves me in ways I can not explain. I get high off the viberations, I get drunk off the harmonys. Every note I take in and love, major to minor, music always inspires me to dream, to think beyond myself, my world of busyness, and my dark hearted mind, I dream of places, places near and far. Every song comes with a picture, a movie, and a real or two of film. Creating a soundtrack to what I paint my life to. Making pretty views look bolder and ugly views seem less disturbing. Cuz life is beautiful and music is the soundtrack to how we feel
598 · Dec 2012
Why Am I Sorry?
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
I’m sorry I’m not like you.
I will NEVER be, like you…
I’m sorry I strive to be my own person,
I’m sorry I don’t mimic every trend,
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I’m NOT sorry!!!
Stop making me feel, like being me is a sin!
Stop trying to convince me to cave and give in!
I stand alone, in a crowd of many
Who still don’t seem to see,
All the pressures put on me to be:
“Normal”, pretty in pink, little Miss. perfect,
And conform to societies standards
Which I consistently break…
A person should NOT have to ask permission
To be who they are inside,
It should be a natural reaction to be true
To not fake out what’s in the mirror.
Some people wake up every morning
To a reflection they wish was NOT their own,
Due to society saying they don’t fit in,
That they don’t fit into those size 0 or 1 jeans,
That they don’t fit into society’s elite group of people,
They don’t fit in anywhere, anymore…
Thus outcast…they say afraid and confused…I’m sorry.
I’M SORRY I WAS BORN DIFFERENT,
I’M SORRY I HAVE ODD ABLITIES,
I’m sorry, because I’m NOT going to apologize anymore,
For simply being me!
Everybody has the right to be themselves
596 · Dec 2014
Im Dying
Sunny Snow Dec 2014
I'm dying,
Don't you understand,
Each and every day,
I'm dying.

I used to think being dead,
Was to mean,
Your heart beat,
Went flat.

But,
Being dead?
Not so much a state of being sometimes...

I'd wake up,
Every morning,
Saying...

"****,
I'm still here?
How am IIIII,
Still here?"

With not much will power for life,
Every day mundane,
Every hour, pointless.

Until it drove me mad,
I became so mad,
I gave that girl in the mirror the finger
And walked
The hell
Away.
She was no good,

And saying to myself after I said...

"Hey bro,
I'm dying each
And every day!

I don't have time for *******,
I don't have the years for hatred,
I don't have the months for grudges,
I don't have the days for no success,
I don't have the hours for wasting,
I don't have the minutes for standing still,

But what I do have,
Is millions
Of itty bitty moments,
Placed together
So perfectly,
That I notice...

I never saw that before i died.
Before the brain waves took a vaction
To
lets be depressed and unsure, unworthy of life

No,
I'd never seen how beautiful

Life is,

When you slow her down,
To a slow dance,
A graceful pause,
A gentle breath,
A simple laugh,
A single tear,
A precious moment.

And Time,
She is just an odd one.
Letting you decide when her dance is done.
But willing to offer so much more,
If you stay.

And There is,
Always,
Always,
Always,
More, my friend.

I would know,
I'm still here,
By some magic of this universe
I got plopped into
21 years ago.

And I've seen enough,
Telling me,

"ehy,
They still want you here,
Your family,
Your pet,
Your friends,
They need you here,
Its not about you!!!

Its about us."

Time will whispers gentley
Into my ears

"its about us,
You are dying,
You will never be eternal,
And life,
Well,
He's a ******* sometimes,
Don't always listen to him,
But never
Never ever,
Take him for granted."

She reasons with me.

"in the end,
You will go,
But now,
Is not the end.

I have much more,
much more,
To show you"

Still,
I'm dying,
And every moment counts.
Every encounter,
Every butterfly in your stomach,
Every bruise you take,
Every battle you fight,
Every love you have,
Every person you care for,
Every memory you hold close,
Every blink,
Every word,
Every whisper,

Its all worth it.

Let it be,
Worth it.

You are dying
Make it worth something to you.
Sunny Snow Jun 2013
Hands under the table,
You can’t see the cards I hold.
I’ve learned how to play your games,
You’ll see that as I fold.

I’ve been targeted as weak, for years.
The victim of any bully…
Easy to crush…easy to ****.

That was then,
This is now…

Try me on for size,
Look me strait in the eyes,
And say what you will about

How I’m not like you
(I never wanted to be)

How I’ll never fit in
(I don’t need to be popular to know I’m loved)

About how I…am…nothing
(But I’m more than you will ever be)

I’m not the goody2shoes you knew back then
I don’t sit in the back corner anymore
I won’t stand in the shadows…

And to quote the lyrics that brought me to life…
“You’re running after something
That you’ll never ****…
If this is what you wanted,
Then FIRE AT WILL!”
So My Chemical Romance since 6th-7th grade, has been a huge influence on me. And recently I was invited to a reunion at my old elementary school (mainly a 8th grade/high school reunion for most people I went to school with) and I didn't get along well with mostly all the kids I went to school with back then (it was Catholic school, in Peoria, IL) so I got kinda cocky about stuff and wrote this, basically saying, "You don't like me, Well ******* TOO!"

Have fun reading...
546 · Nov 2013
Beauty and the Beast
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
I feel the viberance of life,
I can sense every emotion.
Keeping my brain in motion,
People dont see it,
They cant see the beauty I do because they might not know the pain I do.
A bi-product of depression,
If you will it, can be optimism.
You forse yourself to see "free cheese and a ******* challenge" instead of just a mouse trap.
You always have a choice,
A choice to feel...
Everything.
Take it all in and make it yours.
Because no matter how tragic you could always be worse...which in turn means you can only be better!
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
Waking up on the floor,
Sore and in a bit of pain…
Still that doesn’t stop me from believing,
Today has potential to be amazing.
She’s still asleep, so I get ready.
Soon she’s awake too,
We make coffee
And a makeshift breakfast.
I look outside,
And want to go for a walk,
So we head outside into the frozen tundra,
I’m beaming,
Cigarette and coffee in hand,
On a walk with a gorgeous woman,
Today feels brand new.
And I’m just happy,
To be here with you.
Basically just a journal like poem, I'm on vacation with my friend Kaitie, and this was my morning today :)
532 · Feb 2013
Smokin' Deep In Thought
Sunny Snow Feb 2013
Floating on cloud 9, I’m feelin good, I’m feelin fine. Reaching out to Orion, drifting to where ever the galaxy might lead, and I’ll follow. Smokey air sets the mood, dim lights and layed back music tune my eyes and ears to harmony. My mind begins to connect all the dots, flipping to words in an open dictionary in my head, causing me to turn to my stickered laptop and rewrite all the thoughts coming from within.

This is how I access my internal self, the me who is never afraid to speak up. The part of me that doesn’t give two *****, but at the same time cares about all of it. I’m resting in a grove, the roads go from bumpy to smooth and all is as it should be.

I’m out of my mind, be back in an hour or so. I’m chillin in my happy place, with uninterrupted cycles of thoughts, keeping my mind in check. Examining all of my internal memories, weather good or bad, we are at peace, coexisting in a space where yin and yang truly are real. A balance amongst me, myself and I, where I can’t shy away from what is unpleasant to think about.

In a moment, where everything begins to make sense and all is beautiful in life.
531 · May 2013
Twisted Lullaby
Sunny Snow May 2013
You sing yourself to sleep each night,
A hushed, whispered lullaby
Of the battles you fight.
Dance around your demons,
Make them wish they weren’t yours.

Made of scars, we are who we are…
Wish all you want on that shooting star,
But you’ll never go anywhere,
Without moving your feet.
You think there’s something wrong with you,
But we all feel that incomplete…

We all know there’s something more,
Weather we inquire,
Or weather we ignore,
Makes all the difference here.

Come to peace with yourself,
Stop beating up and picking on
Your imperfect aspects,
Or else they’ll just keep coming back.
Give yourself some credit.

A pat on the back,
Never killed anyone.
There’s nothing wrong with feeling low,
But know, there’s always a way back up.

We are yin and yang,
Bonded to sin, and rebounded for our own gain.
You don’t need to be “fixed”
There was nothing wrong with you to begin with,
Simply a misunderstanding…
528 · Dec 2012
I'm NOT Addicted
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
Im not addicted,
She said,
I can stop anytime,
She swore...
Little did she think of,
Black lungs and
Her throat so sore.
Puffing away the last minutes of her life,
Yet this is one of the few things,
Convincing her to stay alive.
She knows there are "other methods"
She just feels this feeds her need the best.
She didnt want to start this chain,
And now she doesnt want to stop.
I promise Im NOT addicted,
I also promised I would quit...
Two solem vows now broken,
But at least she feels whole...
527 · Jan 2013
Safe Zone
Sunny Snow Jan 2013
Remember when you were little, playing tag, and there’d always be a “Save Zone” where you couldn’t get tagged? I’ve found that, in life, that game rings so true. See I’ve been running around in circles, getting tagged, tagging other people back, but when I’m with you, I’m in the “Safe Zone”. No one can hurt me, no one can touch me, and best of all, there’s no time limit to how long I can be safe. Chaos could be chasing the world around us, but it’s ok because I got your killer smile. We sit in the “Safe Zone” and play our own little games. Playing “baby tag” with our lips, kiss, “your it”, kiss back, “No YOUR it”. For once it’s nice just flirt, not fully commit, but know in the back of my mind, I wouldn’t want to be doing this with anyone but you. You’re my “Safe Zone”.
Sunny Snow Oct 2013
(By: Alex)
How?
How can this be?
We, us, I.
Live in a world of infamy?
For me more empathy or more sorrow strenghening hate and dreadfullness.

How?
How do I cope?
How can I cope with this misery and sorrow I had so abruptly put upon me.
I feel like there is no end.
No end to this constant pain the world has so dreadfully put upon us.
Must we live in a world filled with hate and sadness.
So like I said, is there no end?

But yet we try.
Try so hard and dearly to end this madness that was cursed upon us in this time of sorrow.
Yet I ask again how do I, we cope with this?

How?

(By: Bex)
How?
How he asks me,
Do we make the pain end?
So I look him in the eyes,
And I say, "Love,
Love my dear,
will conquer all doubt,
all fear, and all pain"
For every woman knows,
Behind a man who can only stay strong
for so long...
There is a woman who will rise above
when he calls on her.
Love is to never give up,
because "how" is a word,
that say's "I probably can't,
it's Impossible"
But we, my dear
are indeed possible!
combo poem
519 · Nov 2013
Snow Angels
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
The cold wind blows and I embrace every chill running up my legs and across my face like the models on tv. I dont like the snow but I like how everything is dying. It reminds me, I too can start over next spring. These dark days cant last forever cuz someday the suns got to shine. My skins grown a rough layer to the point where those 21 cuts of sorrow no longer have burden on me. I look at them and say, that was just where I was that night, and where I am now, is ready to fight and be strong again. For with winters sadness comes my depressive nature, and every snow fall is a battle to keep trecking and moving forward through the blizzard of life. And just when I want to fall down and give up, a snow angel reminds me its all going to be ok!
512 · Nov 2013
Go Ahead and Yell
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
Scream a smile across my face, can u ever retrace, can u replace all those tempor tantrums you'd have?

Paint a smile upon my face
Make me seem happy to mistake my madness and greef. I know I cant take it back.

I meant what I said when I yelled back "I hate you!" You killed me, you erased a part of me that once was happy.
Now only despair.

You yelled n yelled and yelled and with every word of every fight we ever had, you pushed me further and further away...

And yet you still ask me why Id pick mom over you anyday of the week...!!!

You are nothing to me.
Because of what you did
509 · Oct 2013
A Twisted Love Story
Sunny Snow Oct 2013
Here I am,
and here you are,
here, we are...together.
Together entwined,
Together I am yours,
and you are mine.
Cute as ****,
******* the system,
Crazy, loud and proud.
A twisted little love story,
So lets start somewhere in the middle,
Where I can't help but stare,
and you can't help but care.
Cause from the moment I saw you,
I liked you...
I liked your leather jacket,
I liked you devilish smerk,
but most of all,
I loved how you wear your heart,
on you sleave.
How you show people you care.
And I want you to know,
Regardless,
I'll always be there.
500 · Nov 2013
cigarettes and making love
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
I dont think I could ever quit cigarettes when you're around, cuz we always smoke one after. A mutual ritual. All the engery from making love calls for a light bit of menthal or marb. Or both! And when we kiss it sends shivers up my spine like the first cig of the day and the first kiss ever had.  When we make love we move as one like a wave. We are an ocean, we are a mid summers breeze just drifting along. And babe I know its cliche but when we make love all I want to say is "I love you"
489 · Nov 2013
Keep Your Heart Open
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
Keep your ears open
Cause you never know
What you could hear...

Keep your eyes clear
Cause you never know
What you could see...

Keep you mind free
Cause you never know
Who you could be.

Life is wide open
With endless possibilities.

Cuz life is always relivent
Everything is there
You just gotta chose
To feel it.

Like Vampire Dairies
You can chose to shut out the world
Igore your humanity
Or you can feel every emotion Just like me

I am who I am
Cuz of what I see
What I hear
Who I chose to be

I dont pass up a chance
To give a second glance
Learn something
I rejected before

Cuz you never know
Who will open the door
To god knows where

Take you some where
You never been before
Because life
Is one big chance to live it up
489 · Sep 2013
Home Will Forever Be Here
Sunny Snow Sep 2013
48 degrees of chilly September morning air and a Camel Turkish Silver cigarette fill my lungs; ear-buds placed respectively between each lobe chiming the soundtrack from “Little Women”. As I walk down one of the busiest streets of downtown Madison, the journey seems hushed. A couple cars speed by Gorham and State, and I’m assuming it’s ‘take out $%!# and throw it away day’, noticing the garbage pick-up trucks drive along. Funny how, you'd never guess how many footsteps could crowd these enlarged sidewalks and street when the popular main course of Madison awakens. Feels like Christmas in the movies, when looking in store windows at things I’ll never get around nor remember to buy. And for once, I second guess all my thoughts of wanting to leave this town and forget all the memories it holds; for once, in a great while, I again want to call this place my hometown. Though truly, my home is roughly 3 and a 1/2 hours south of here in dear old Peoria, IL. Madison has always welcomed me and showed me things a city nearly its size, could never quite replicate; and just when I feel, I don’t belong here anymore, she pulls me back in on mornings when I couldn’t sleep all night and calls to me, saying, "let’s take a walk, and I’ll show you what you've been missing." She has a way of doing that, as you all may know. For she taught me how to dream bigger, think broader, and dare to create a new. My dear Madison, WI; frozen tundra and summer love of the north, how could I forget you?!
474 · Nov 2013
What It All Is
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
Fate is rigged and destiny is a fake drug sold on the streets. Life is a rat race we all die to complete. You get somewhere and suddenly you're only just ******* lucky and its just that faint string of luck holding you in place. Look at my face, look in my eyes and tell me im wrong. Life is ****, still we are told "be strong, never be weak, weakness shows lack of power." But what they dont know is in our weakest times we find our strength. We find who we are and fate then, throw to the wind, and destiny will be on its knees kissing my hand beggin for forgiveness, cuz now il be in control, il have total rein. Unlike I had before when all I knew of the world is what pain it could bring to my eyes and heart. Luckly it just so happened with age came a softer view on life, like wine it all began to taste better. And soon the bitterness was gone and the depression a thing in my history books. I was free, and am free and always will fight for my air space till I cant breathe, cause if you dont agree I want to show you what I know, I may still be younger and have room to grow but I can tell you a thing or two you wont hear out of someone my age and range of knowlegde cause I didnt finish college but I know more than those books could ever teach me about real life. And my books run thick the would take years to read, thus why I write and read others stories. And in the end fate is ****** cuz I write my own words.
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
Can you hear me? Cuz sometimes it feels like no one listens. Theres a reason I got 21 cuts on my left forearm. Years of having to deal with cronic pain, time ive spent debating, will it be ok just cuz you tell me it will be? Cuz it never gets any better, they say the bipolar crying spells will last forever. Always getting worse. And sometimes I beg for attention cuz im used to not getting any. Theres this empty spot in my heart, where everything is missing, just wishing, for someone to see her, notice her through the make up mask I wear. Truth is I dont look better without my mascara on. I dont feel like I am worth anything. They say dont take it so ******* yourself, yet easier said than done. Im broken hearted, broken minded...im a broken toy men toss around and woman kick the **** out of. And sometimes its hard to repair myself.
Depression bipolar is a *****
455 · Nov 2013
fairytales exist
Sunny Snow Nov 2013
Speak to me through mumbled words of love and potential. Let me know, our future together could be very well possible. Cause your smiles are contagious, and your laugh, the sweetest tune ive ever put my ears to.

For thee I love and only thee I desire, no one else, could ever float my heart any higher. Thus you I crave, and you il save in my soul, till we grow old and brittle, and we are weak and little, but strong as long as we have each other.

Love is immortal, and I could never imagine forgetting you. You bring sunshine to my eyes, that havent seen beems like that since a long while ago. You are my once upon a time, so all I ask of you, will you be my now and forever? Then let us live happily ever after.
Love is incredible
433 · Dec 2012
I Love You
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
“I love you”
Frequently said,
Not so frequently meant.
How can you say the words
“I love you”
Like they are only worth a cent?
Tossing eight letters up into the air
Waiting for a lonely breath to reply
“I love you to”
Not meaning what you say
Just saying what SHOULD
Already be known,
If you really meant to say
“I love you”
Then I wouldn’t feel so alone.
I hope you choke on your words,
Maybe then you’ll know
How bad I hurt
Hearing “I love you”
Repeatedly lied to,
Running round in circles  trying to figure out
Did they really mean it?
Or am I
Just another…
Victim of love,
Another one sided relationship,
Told that I am cherished
But not important enough
For you to save the
“I love you”
And instead SHOW me love!
Show me what it’s like to have love.
Show me kisses in April rain.
Show me midnight phone calls.
Show me an endless embrace.
Show me that you’re vulnerable.
Show me that you are in fact in love.
The best love is blind
Trusting your partner to care.
Save your words for better lines
And replace “I love you” with
“Don’t hang up, just 10 more minutes”
And “Don’t ever let me go”
Use you words
Craft them the mean something more
Than just “I love you”.
Then when your guts
Can’t hold those three syllables back,
And your sick of showing,
Tell me you love me,
Because then the words
“I love you”
Will be all you’ll have left to say.
Basically how much I hate hearing "I love you" before I'm ready to hear it
429 · May 2013
The Monster
Sunny Snow May 2013
I hide in the shadows, afraid of seeing my own reflection. Unsure and scared of my own sense of direction, I wonder aimlessly. Stumbling over possibilities to get better; I like the thrill of a downward spiraling dive. A depressive mess of creativity, I know this isn’t the way it is suppose to be, but I like the darkness that surrounds me. I started living when I learned how to die, and found something inside me I had never seen before. I saw this beast of a creature, this astounding force of nature; I knew then, what all a human could become. What all we can cause to happen, just by a simple action or word; I began to dissect this monster, find it’s weak and strong points, and play them to my own advantage. This is when I found my strength in a so called weakness, and stepping out of my shadow…I became, the monster.
this one is about struggling with depression, and learning to look at the situation in a different light.
426 · Feb 2014
Fight Inside
Sunny Snow Feb 2014
Rail, Inhale...
Forget, Regret...
Fear, Hide...
Numb, Die...
And repeat as needed.
I'm on the fast track to hell, I just pretend not to notice.
The smile masking the insanity
But I'm used to being crazy.
Paranoid and scared
No one warned me,
So I face this war unprepared.
A veteran of the ******,
I am what I am
I understand every ****** up thought
I just don't know how to find the "off" switch.
You'd think,
After over half a decade
I'd get the picture,
But I'm no better off then I  was before.
Like a broken record
I'm overplayed and out of tune,
Yesterday's news.
I need to break this cycle
Start a revolution and revolt
Cuz I might just be worth fighting for...
424 · Dec 2013
im insane!
Sunny Snow Dec 2013
Making up my distraction as I go along, I say that im ok, but I think we all know that im wrong. Im raging inside my own mind, trying so hard to leave a ****** up road behind. Still desperately wanting to rev it up and drive in reverse all over again. "No!", "no!" I scream back into the shadows; I will not be a slave to YOUR ways. I wont crumble and fall to the feet of anyone that says they care, I wont get ****** up just to feel better, I wont cry over the stupid ****, I wont worry like hell on something I know I cant change. I promise! But...ive broken that promise so many times ive lost track, and that road of the ****** I wander aimlessly, begging and trying so hard to fight my way out. Im so sick of the games, of the hangovers, bad memory and shame. All I ever wanted...was not to end up, insane. But I am...and I will be...and nothing will ever change.
Depression bipolar
421 · Feb 2014
She Was Love
Sunny Snow Feb 2014
She had this sassy way about her,
As if her curves sent out vibrations of emotion.
When I saw her a wave of sensual feeling came over me.
I desired her,
In every way possible...
Frantic with the idea of loving her,
With those skin tight clothes
And a smile filled with sin,
Making me green with envy,
She was LOVE.
Words my friends gave me to use in a poem: Sensual, Frantic, Green, Sassy, Curvy, and Tight.
414 · Dec 2012
Immortal Beauty
Sunny Snow Dec 2012
Endless possibilities are echoed in a melody.
A song that brings the soul to life,
With a chorus that can make the body rise.
The lyrics take their place within my lungs,
As I exhale the words, the song is sung.
A beauty flows in every note and cord,
My mind skyrockets, my imagination sores,
Creating immortal music within my heart.
For this is not the end of a life,
But the beginning of a brand new start.
Time is still running out the hour glass,
For we all know,
As all time comes, it soon shall pass.
But as far as I’m concerned,
The music deep within will last,
Continuing even after we all are dead and gone,
The tune will remain, the soul move on.
For music never truly dies
As long as within a passionate heart it lies.
my love <3 for music
410 · Aug 2013
The Attack
Sunny Snow Aug 2013
Over-ride the fear, this is just the beginning, still, the end is near.
I'm ready to fight, I'm ready to let this rage that's been building...just tumble, down.
Releasing the silence that used to ring through my entire life,
Be my mask in this dark battle of the night.
Sneak up behind doubt, avoidence and fear,
They will know my name...And they will quiver, just like I did.
They will feel the the emotions they inplanted in me,
I will make them see what they showed me.

I'll show doubt,
How my self-esteem has grown,
How I've come into my own...

I'll prove to avoidence,
I've learned to face it,
And look it square in the eyes,
And say "Try me!"

And fear,
The villian of all life,
Ha, I'll show it what it is...
To know when you're going to lose...it...all.

I'm a threat to their existance in my head,
I've had it, I'm done,
I'm not gonna let them run this town,
No, it's my rein now!
This one is basically about me facing a lot of crap I've had to deal with for nearly all my life. And I wrote it when I realized how fed up with doubt, avoidance and fear I was.
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