Ive always wanted to move on, and get going with my life...but it can be hard when, your packing your bags frantically, and someone is always right beside you, unpacking every little nick-kack. But, thats how it is when your addicted to living how I do. Drugs to cover the tears, ***** to show I have some sense of self worth, and friends who cant stay clean for too long, if at all. But what keeps me trying to pack my bags, is I know I can be more than just high on the sofa every afternoon watching adventure time. And instead get out there and have my own adventures.

Can you hear me? Cuz sometimes it feels like no one listens. Theres a reason I got 21 cuts on my left forearm. Years of having to deal with cronic pain, time ive spent debating, will it be ok just cuz you tell me it will be? Cuz it never gets any better, they say the bipolar crying spells will last forever. Always getting worse. And sometimes I beg for attention cuz im used to not getting any. Theres this empty spot in my heart, where everything is missing, just wishing, for someone to see her, notice her through the make up mask I wear. Truth is I dont look better without my mascara on. I dont feel like I am worth anything. They say dont take it so ******* yourself, yet easier said than done. Im broken hearted, broken minded...im a broken toy men toss around and woman kick the **** out of. And sometimes its hard to repair myself.

Shes always been there, like my defender of the broken. I owe everything to her. I can tell you all my dark secrets and you'll always love me like a mother should. You've always had my back, protected me from myself when no one was there. My silent hero, and without you I truly do believe id be nothing. Id be gone without you keeping me here. Reminding me of the joys of life and family and friends. There truly is nothing like a mothers love.

Fate is rigged and destiny is a fake drug sold on the streets. Life is a rat race we all die to complete. You get somewhere and suddenly you're only just ******* lucky and its just that faint string of luck holding you in place. Look at my face, look in my eyes and tell me im wrong. Life is ****, still we are told "be strong, never be weak, weakness shows lack of power." But what they dont know is in our weakest times we find our strength. We find who we are and fate then, throw to the wind, and destiny will be on its knees kissing my hand beggin for forgiveness, cuz now il be in control, il have total rein. Unlike I had before when all I knew of the world is what pain it could bring to my eyes and heart. Luckly it just so happened with age came a softer view on life, like wine it all began to taste better. And soon the bitterness was gone and the depression a thing in my history books. I was free, and am free and always will fight for my air space till I cant breathe, cause if you dont agree I want to show you what I know, I may still be younger and have room to grow but I can tell you a thing or two you wont hear out of someone my age and range of knowlegde cause I didnt finish college but I know more than those books could ever teach me about real life. And my books run thick the would take years to read, thus why I write and read others stories. And in the end fate is ****** cuz I write my own words.

Keep your ears open
Cause you never know
What you could hear...

Keep your eyes clear
Cause you never know
What you could see...

Keep you mind free
Cause you never know
Who you could be.

Life is wide open
With endless possibilities.

Cuz life is always relivent
Everything is there
You just gotta chose
To feel it.

Like Vampire Dairies
You can chose to shut out the world
Igore your humanity
Or you can feel every emotion Just like me

I am who I am
Cuz of what I see
What I hear
Who I chose to be

I dont pass up a chance
To give a second glance
Learn something
I rejected before

Cuz you never know
Who will open the door
To god knows where

Take you some where
You never been before
Because life
Is one big chance to live it up

Scream a smile across my face, can u ever retrace, can u replace all those tempor tantrums you'd have?

Paint a smile upon my face
Make me seem happy to mistake my madness and greef. I know I cant take it back.

I meant what I said when I yelled back "I hate you!" You killed me, you erased a part of me that once was happy.
Now only despair.

You yelled n yelled and yelled and with every word of every fight we ever had, you pushed me further and further away...

And yet you still ask me why Id pick mom over you anyday of the week...!!!

You are nothing to me.
Because of what you did

I feel the viberance of life,
I can sense every emotion.
Keeping my brain in motion,
People dont see it,
They cant see the beauty I do because they might not know the pain I do.
A bi-product of depression,
If you will it, can be optimism.
You forse yourself to see "free cheese and a ******* challenge" instead of just a mouse trap.
You always have a choice,
A choice to feel...
Everything.
Take it all in and make it yours.
Because no matter how tragic you could always be worse...which in turn means you can only be better!