How do I write, in a language that communicates,
There is something in me - there is something in you, that we share,
The same ache, if it exists,
I could show you,
But I have never been good with words.

I don’t want you to look in,
I don’t want you to see me changing,
I cannot bear my shame with dignity,
My body won’t fit under the table,
Known tenderness is devastating.

I will become a great insect,
With a hard shell,
I will tune myself in,
To the room, and rub my
Wings together.

I am scared because you were soft,
and love, all I know how to feel is small,
dull pain,
like a twitch when the body hits the ground.

I was screaming this at you and you were holding me,
I was touching you and I was the whole sky,
you were some kind of saviour,
and it was for bleeding.

I was thinking, I could die in your arms, like that
strung up stars in my chest (I am calling it heaven)
watching the body fall (it’s going to hit the ground, soon, but for now it is hung in the air,
it is just like the stars).

I was thinking, I could die in your arms, like that,
reaching into you and forgetting my breath,
The pulling of the waves, and you.

Elijah's burning body meant victory,
So why shouldn't this,
Flat and still,
Quiet thing, fed well,
Though never swallowing,
Gain the same?
After all life is green,
And animates it just once,
With a sudden growth grasping each of its limbs,
And flinging it into the dancing world.
There a blank face adorns the body,
Which knows love,
Rather a pig happy,
It says, rather a pig happy,
And that is enough.

It's another kind of nightmare,
It's the feeling of a lifetime,
Open to the limelight,
And now I'm reaching for your lifeline,
Over the bugs inside your eyes,
I hope you won't understand,
Because I dont.

Not even a fool,
can encompass you now,
bruising arms,
pulsing with malice,
blood flows, everything lives,
a meal of milk, bread,
to spur you on,
shine brightly, beautiful thing and
dying too, I know you
I know you are evil,
silent and praying to
the wrong god,
I’ve seen you down to the core
before, and I will see it
again, we love you.

That numbness, the hole in your heart, the veins, that keep you occupied with Beating,

Away the silent feeling, running,
It’s not your body that stops, it’s you,
To feel blindly, be a fool,

Washing your face in these two hands,
The strawberry knuckles,
The longing,
I have decided,

Is freedom truly solitude?
I feel you missing,
Become forgotten, please,
I am a black hole, an absence,
without these inky capillaries.

I don't really write,
I confess,
I don't know who you are, you don't know who I am,
Like two lonely strangers sharing a breath,
Eyes that stare, and look away,
There was a thoughtless second,
Of being together.

Weren't we the forest talking?
The spilling of a fantasy,
The horror in your smile still scares me,
Our thoughts in a dance like a fight,
Love mends the cuts you were making,
Now the scars look like you,
There is a part of me talking,
From the mouth of a stranger with your body.

I'm going to find you,
find you out,
the long conversations,
about our own flaws,
we both know,
the punches we throw,
at our own faces,
are just becoming more elaborate.
Tell me I mean something,
you are so special,
and so human, I promise that.
Though we will discard each other,
eventually,
this is a thing we know,
because we have been in this story before.
To love is to know pain,
and decide it is worth it,
to rip the pieces of each other apart with your bare hands,
and gently give them back,
covered in tears, covered in flowers,
to steal,
keep some of you for myself.

The drawn out holiday,
that made your head so sick it was painful to think
its been like this for a while now,
your own short eternity
So, you wonder when it will stop
and fall
into somthing worse, because it will soon
running upwards or downwards
its only the same

“You look happy”
And what’s he’s trying to say is he was worried,
And I don’t think I had enough, feeling or guts or any of the other stuff that makes us human in me,
To be afraid,
But look, look look look at me,
Shiny new thing, I love you with this whole body,
What’s a soul wasted? waste life, my walls,
Joy rushes up into this chest, punching out everything - the bruises, the ache, that’s the good stuff,
That’s the stuff I’m thinking of now,
Up so high the atmosphere might just let go,
Up, up and away into the infinity,
Gravity gives me up,
And each time,
I have to pull myself down,
Broken bones mend stronger,
I would swear it on this skin, I’d say,
Am I happy?
Like if only for a second I could hold on, hold on to this-

Becoming dull,
in it's confusion,
I found a beauty, and took it,
over time it's colour has faded.

running from my possession,
we will all take in the end,
heart ticking away,
blood runs clear when you cut deep.

fear is always a rational thing,
creature moving, to drink,
the smile,
I know you wanted to live.