Nothing has ever been so pretty
As sunlight tangled in green leaves
Spreading like fingers
Over the scar of the road
I am not strong
I am not used to love

What’s lived and loved has died as well as you and me,
And dust returns to dust,
Pain is easy,
Moving and alive.

There is a boy in me determined not to live,
Determined to be sick,
He claws and rages against my insides,
My very own soft animal,
I know,
I know,
I know,
What we have is temporary,
And meeting it with the most undying love,
Is the only answer I’ll get,
But he’s hurting me, and god,
Do I want to take a handful,
Of that hair and
Make him understand I have power.
But the boy is me,
And looking in,
At the scene,
All you see is a flailing emulsion of flesh,
Hell bent on purifying itself,
No,
No,
Meeting it all with the most undying love.

For the accumulating mass of noise,
You brought,
Your face - bright with tears, clean with sunlight,
You were going to be,
That was the promise,
You were going to live,
Some heaven, ascension into,
A cleaner kind of pain.

Hack at the flesh,
A feast,
Left out for you,
Flayed myself right there
Let the skin fall,
From the bones,
See me right down to the marrow.
Stamp dirt into forgotten parts,
You were dancing,
A blood smeared face, is watching you,
Now, leaving,
Glancing over your clean shoulder at
The naked fool,
Lying arms crossed.

I want you to know me like this:
Tying me up, by my
wrists and my ankles, splayed, medical,
Cold metal tools to the skin,
Cut me open and see
My insides constructed, not
Skilfully, but carefully,
The artificial parts are clean,
And crying to be known again.

Sound swallow me,
flood the bones of a body,
it's you, and the end scene,
it's you, for a moment in the starring role.

hold on tight to euphoria,
look at the crowd, the forest of bodies,

promise that you will become pure
I will become truth,
in a moment,
my body dissipates.