There is a boy in me determined not to live,
Determined to be sick,
He claws and rages against my insides,
My very own soft animal,
I know,
I know,
I know,
What we have is temporary,
And meeting it with the most undying love,
Is the only answer I’ll get,
But he’s hurting me, and god,
Do I want to take a handful,
Of that hair and
Make him understand I have power.
But the boy is me,
And looking in,
At the scene,
All you see is a flailing emulsion of flesh,
Hell bent on purifying itself,
No,
No,
Meeting it all with the most undying love.

For the accumulating mass of noise,
You brought,
Your face - bright with tears, clean with sunlight,
You were going to be,
That was the promise,
You were going to live,
Some heaven, ascension into,
A cleaner kind of pain.

Hack at the flesh,
A feast,
Left out for you,
Flayed myself right there
Let the skin fall,
From the bones,
See me right down to the marrow.
Stamp dirt into forgotten parts,
You were dancing,
A blood smeared face, is watching you,
Now, leaving,
Glancing over your clean shoulder at
The naked fool,
Lying arms crossed.

Sound swallow me,
flood the bones of a body,
it's you, and the end scene,
it's you, for a moment in the starring role.

hold on tight to euphoria,
look at the crowd, the forest of bodies,

promise that you will become pure
I will become truth,
in a moment,
my body dissipates.

That was me in the moment gone bland with the colour
of petrol wash,
clinging to the skin,

city bear me,
tell me I'm still a child,
tell me I have a long way, to go,
before I loose the light,
glinting pupils,
a thrill,
caused by stupidity.

Looking blindly,
strung out like sunlight,
through dirt,
distorting the view,
transitory spaces, again,
I'm not coming home.
Hand me the map to changing,
into myself,
despite the scars,
that break with the stretching of skin.

Despite your eyes,
looking right through,
me, ghostly apparition,
with no insides to parade,
weaving performance,
Joking, joking,
I will bow to no one.

To be given like that,
This strange movement,
Away from you, away from watching
What peace was,
Standing in the middle of a crowd,
And being known by no one.

Dead flowers,
Leftovers from the sudden greed,
That beauty brings,
A plastic dinosaur,
Bending it’s neck over the chessboard,
Who to change, who to change.

I will keep every good thing that’s ever been brought to me,
And bury it, inside,
Until I overflow,
With light.

I wanted to see your blood,
In the mirror,
You dancing,
And the soft sweat,
Of summer,
Making you shine,
Look at yourself,
And then look at the stars,
Bend over the fist,
Pressed right between,
Purple kissed ribs,
Bruising like an answer,
Breathing like an animal in death,
Watching you curl up,
In worship,
Or resting, in the shade,
Of branches hiding,
A sun breaking, with the glow,
Being loved, like that.