StrangeFruit

StrangeFruit Jan 2019

My heart wanders as if I'm free to roam the world with no restrictions. But I see the walls. I know I'm stuck. I'm trapped and i know that in my mind. It just hasn't broken through to my heart. Because even with the drugs it's so hard to confine a heart that knows it was always meant to be free.

StrangeFruit Jan 2019

All That's Left

They watch me
Endlessly
As if the the bars on the door will suddenly dissipate due to my extreme will power for them to vanish
I stare back at them wondering
Am I a problem to them or a person?
Someone who is invading their time and space
Or a human being with feelings and trauma who needs help
They treat me like the former
I want to tell them that it doesn't matter
That they can treat me however they choose
But the words never come out
The constant drug cloud I am under suffocates anything that dares to cross my lips
Why can't I say that I'm not here anymore
That I don't know who I am anymore
Why cant I say that all that's left in me is a built up scream that is struggling to get out

StrangeFruit Jan 2019

What We Deserve

I'll wear this noose you gave me like a necklace. I'll embrace this pain you left me with like the love I wish you could have given. I will not break under the constant weight that is now upon my shoulders. I'll carry your load. I'll love in your place. I'll learn the lessons you were supposed to teach me on my own. Just know, we all become what we deserve.

StrangeFruit Jan 2019

Waiting

There has not yet been a string of letters strung together in a way to express the deepest repressions of my mind.
I have not yet felt an emotion strong enough to make my life feel as if its worth the amount of effort i put into it.
Nor have I met a person who is able to recognize the sparkle in my eyes as my depression and anger's warning signs of implosion.

StrangeFruit Jun 2018

All Me

Let this be my escape
My attempt at freedom
The opening of my own dawn
My start at something new
Something more
The unleashing of my inner thoughts and questions
Let this be me
And me alone

StrangeFruit Jun 2018

Acceptance

There will come a time where I will be placed in the ground. My past, my present, and my future will vanish. I will only live on in the memories of people who have known me. And once their time has come I will cease to exist.

StrangeFruit Jun 2018

Crippling

Held back by this fear
I am unable to hear
Your voice calling
I can feel myself falling
There's a yearning inside
That's getting harder to hide
So allow me to see
So that i can be set free
From this fear of mine
So with the rest of my time
I can see clear
What You want me to do from here