getting caught up in a different dimension
can cause a lot of misunderstanding in life
and bring you to a different section
as you browse through,
looking for answers.

going like this? this is where
you know it will happen safely.
its dangerous, it is. but the
opportunity waiting to unleash
is worth the trouble of getting there.

its scary, because its different.
nobody will be prepared
for an accurate estimation what may
or may not occur.

some are saying, 'forever changed'.


My curiosity often overpowers proper judgments
but dont tell
because they cant know.

they dont get the right to know anymore.

I've been searching these deserts
I've been rummaging through my closet
I've been eating more than usual
I've been spontaneously bursting into laughter
I've been attentive
I've been regularly missing taking my anti-depressants
I've been crying hard all at once (expectedly)
I've been very extremely me

This is okay - this is okay
Thank you life
I'm okay.

I'm at this airport and it's like a chorus
The people go up the ramps
Fly away for 3 days like Horus
The returner's come home now
Waiting families embrace them with love
Jumbo jets zoom outside these giant windows
Visitors, excitedly saunter
Into this new and open place...

And this is okay
Thank you, thank you airport
I'm okay.

I don't have a hand for you to hold,
but my wrist is always there
for you to pull alongside you.

I wish I was in control of my own happiness.

I envy your power,
and it's now or never.

Nothing is forever.

I just want to write stories:

One about a ******* her honeymoon
that calls her mother from the hotel room.
Her mother dissapproves of her husband
because he's abusive and rude and she doesn't understand how her daughter can love him;
but her daughter can't help but love him unconditionally
because she understands her husbands flaws and they're what she loves about him most.
She gets all this pity about being mistreated, but everyone should pity the man of her dreams
because no one understands him and he's tearing at the seems,
and he feels so lucky to have someone so accepting
and they love each other despite everything.

Or one about a girl perhaps,
that goes on long walks to a stage by a river
where she imagines that everyone claps
and welcomes her with open arms that she can practically feel embracing her
and their arms comfort her and keep her warm and eliminate the shivers
that grow on her own arms like little ant hills with colonies beneath them
and when she looks down at her heart she notices a tiny stem
of a dandelion by her feet, and she admires it
because it holds up a **** and doesn't face defeat
and still holds up this **** even though everyone only views it as a ****
and it breaks a sweat and stands tall and doesn't succumb to greed.
She wishes she could look up to it, but the world only sees it when they're looking down.

And I want to write one about a tiny boy
with many fears that no one understands
and ironically enough,
one of his greatest fears is not being understood by others
why he is so scared.
So he tries and tries and tries to explain why the world seems so evil
but the stutter of his thoughts makes him realize that nobody ever cared.
And he carries on and lives life in silence.
Silently scared of a world can hardly bear.

Or maybe I'll write one about a poet
that dreams of the wildest scenarios
and the most enchanting outlooks on life
and she dreams of words and how they fit together
and she dreams of ideas unimaginable to the average brain
and she wakes up in the morning
and doesn't remember a thing
and she opens her note pad
and scribbles until her ink is working again
and sits with her silent pen,
wondering what to write.

I've got a glass of wine in one hand, while I'm trying to keep my balance, as I take my socks off with the other. I stumble, and land abruptly on my bed. Half a glass of Merlot sloshes onto my cream colored cloth sheets and I slur some sounds, shooting for '****' and '****'.

Lily takes her heels off downstairs and creeps up to my room; she moves easily, as if hovering a few inches above the ground as to not let a single sound reach my bludgeoned ears until she laid down beside me. As she began to loosen my tie she pecked softly at every inch of my newly exposed neck, tender, and begging.
My eyes flutter as she whispers,or whimpers (I can't tell)

I know no one's perfect,
but why do you gotta act so far from it?
Jesuit, you're desolate, but I don't know
where I'm going, and I'm slowly dying.

I know that we make
bad choices in mates and you're a mistake,
but I'm lost as to what the cost might be
because right now you're so good for me

and I think I can carry that weight.

Lily,
I've learned a great deal about love and languages tonight.
Just barely masked by metaphor, I couldn't think of a more cliche
way of saying I love you.