I.
Maybe there'll be victory in
an empty bottle,
but I don't think it'll last me
through the night.

I.
"Drink orange juice,
pet a puppy.
Take care of yourself."

II.
It's never came to my mind to
do such a thing.
Take care of
me?

III.
Whatever for?
She was always more
important.

I.
There's a lot of bruises
on my hands.

II.
I'm very sorry.
I know he isn't proud of me
for those.

III.
They always say
"It's just a cry for help",
and if it's only that,
shouldn't the cry be heeded?

IV.
If I need help desperately enough
to slam my bare hands into
porcelain tiles
maybe someone ought to listen.

I.
There's a stabbing
in between my ribs,
but it's from laughing.

II.
Used to be from
longing, a want for something.
Now it's physical pain;
I couldn't be happier.

I.
I'm ready to get better;
I'm ready to be well.

II.
I'm ready to walk with my head up,
and I'm ready to leave hell.

I.
Feeling safe with a person is
something I haven't done in a very long time
maybe not ever.

II.
And suddenly it feels like
everything,
and nothing's ever been better.

I.
******* hell,
you can't expect.
You can't expect that.

II.
You can't imagine
that I'm going to
do the things you're asking of me.

I.
The world is filled with
too much to ever see
in a lifetime,
and maybe this is why
we tell stories.

I.
I've never been
******* better,
I've never burned
******* brighter,
I've never stood
******* taller.

II.
Two years ago I said
"If broken hearts make you stronger,
I don't need to be superman."
But now I feel a little bit
like superman,
it was worth it
all along.

I.
I don't need someone
who will laugh at me
when I'm silly
or someone who will
endearingly groan at me
when I enjoy things.

II.
I need someone
who will join in and
make me laugh as well,
and I need someone
who can enjoy things
with me.

I.
I'm beginning to understand
how people use the term
"Healthy relationship",
and I'm beginning to understand
what it doesn't mean.

II.
It means
sacrifice,
sure.
But it also means
being allowed
to ask for sacrifice.

III.
It means
needing someone
but
being needed,
too.

IV.
There's a lot that's hard to
tuck under your belt
and keep with you.
People always say give
and take,
but they don't say
how.

V.
Sometimes things get
bad without hitting.
Sometimes things get
harsh without yelling.

VI.
Sometimes things go downhill fast
and no one even means it.

I.
On occasion
the world is more
then us mere mortals
who inhabit it can handle.

II.
Quite frankly,
existing is hard.

III.
Doing it without a hand to hold
is ten times harder
and much less soft
when you fall down.

I.
Sometimes the best way
you can love someone
is to stop
loving them.

II.
Perhaps,
that's what heartbreak is.

I.
I'm going to be happy
and maybe not tomorrow
and maybe not in March.

II.
But spring will come and
summer next,
and in the fall I'll be okay.

III.
I know it seems a long way off
but I don't know what else to say.
Things are going to take some time
but I think I'll be okay.

I.
Evict the conviction
that convicts are evicted
from grace.

I.
Adventures
are a hundred times better
captured on film.

I.
I called her every time the thunder
was too loud to bear
and now
there's no one left
to call.

I.
Even the sweetest people
fall out of love
and even the best
don't always end up above
the tide of tears and
haunt of fears
on earth.

II.
Some people in your life are
meant to be there
but maybe they aren't meant as anything
other then a friend.

III.
Beginning to believe in
a platonic soulmate is a little harder
then it seems.
But god it's worth it,
no matter how my heart keens.

I.
If heartbreak makes you stronger
I don't need to be superman.


II.
But heroes don't get to choose their calling,
and nothing ever falls into your plan.

I.
I am *******
drowning.

II.
What about
the apartment at the top of the building,
what about the
two husky dogs
and the.

III.
And the everything.
There was so much.
It was too much to ever lose.

I.
*******
****.

II.
I will do anything you tell me
to stop hurting
people.

III.
But you won't tell me
a ******* thing.

I.
Don't hit your child
because of something they can
never control.

II.
If you aren't able to
raise someone
who's queer, disabled, or mentally
"Wrong", as you'd call it,
don't raise anyone at all.

III.
You can't expect your
idea of a perfect child.

I.
It's a little confusing how
I'm in so much physical pain
I cry sometimes.

II.
But sometimes when I'm
crying I want to
hurt myself.

I.
To be honest it's
a struggle to make connections sometimes.
People are
far away and
I'm a scared of
hurting.

I.
Repulsed by an
unasked for castration by nature,
wrong from birth but
I'm getting better.

II.
Take me home and
take me in,
I'm not whole but I want to begin
again.

I.
Maybe in the spring
I'll shoot in color.

II.
I've watched the world through
gray lenses
for all the winter long.

I.
I want to go where
the wind doesn't bite and
the nights aren't cold.

II.
I want to go where
I don't have to fight and
maybe I'll grow old.

III.
I think you can call that
home.

I.
Communication
only becomes more important
the harder
it gets.

I.
Why is it that
people say they're there for you
but you still feel too much fear
to ask for a
**** thing.

II.
Why is it that
you can feel alone
even when you know that people
love you,
it's almost guilty.

III.
Why is it that
people say they're there for you
and then it's always
"A bad time",
and you need to be the strong one
and that's okay
with you
and you take it and you say
"Don't worry about
me."

IV.
And it's never a good time for
anyone
but you put aside yourself easily
and they cannot.

I.
I am a bundle of
nerves
over you.

II.
Silly,
as it'll be
the third time we do this
for February 14th.

III.
But the thought of
seeing you tomorrow
and your smile
makes it hard to not be
giddy.

I.
It would be hard enough
without losing
the both of you.

II.
I'm beyond happy
that I don't have to.

I.
Crying for no reason
is the worst kind of crying
because you can't
make it stop.

I.
It gets easier
with time.

II.
I know how hard this is to
believe,
but I trust you so
please trust me.

III.
And maybe my words will
reach you
and maybe they will not.

I.
She wakes up late and
it's a blessing.

II.
Dawn is brilliant,
but it couldn't
stand the competition.

I.
Her smile might be
the closest this earth
will ever get to
knowing heaven.

II.
I've pressed my lips to
heaven,
and I never wish
to stop.

I.
Honestly,
you're the greatest thing
to come into
my life.

II.
It's funny because
she teases me
nearly ever day,
that we ought to be
together.

III.
People can have soulmates
without kissing them.

I.
You've got
everything I ******* want,
I wish I had the courage
to ask you how.

II.
You're so
happy,
made easily to laugh.

III.
You made the name change
legal last July,
and I'm scared to even
tell a soul.

I.
Shooting down that stars
wouldn't be
nearly deserving of you.

II.
But as far as you're concerned
my desperate best
is good enough.

I.
Existing is
a difficult concept.

II.
It's much too easy
to make it
much too hard.

I.
It's weird
to mourn for someone you
never met.

II.
Painful in a new way I'm
not used to feeling
and detached in a way
I wish mourning never was.

I.
Freak of
nature
but at least
it's natural.

I.
"It's alright if you step on my toes;
I'm in too much other pain
to notice."

II.
"I'll let you two go;
it'll just give me panic attacks
anyhow."

III.
"I'm sorry I'm crying, it's just that
no one has ever been that nice to me
before."

IV.
"Don't take your arm
from around me,
please."

I.
He's as starved as I am,
and
it's almost terrifying
to see that
on another person.

II.
Is it allowed to
get your comfort from a boy
who needs comfort
more then anyone you know?

III.
Sometimes I almost feel that
holding someone
helps just as much or more then
being held.

I.
Some nights
it's like hoover **** has broken
right behind my eyes
and there's no noise
no shaky breath
just wet cheeks.

II.
I can't make it stop and
there's nothing even wrong.
I'm terrified to sleep
with someone someday;
I don't want anyone
to know.

I.
You can't lie to someone
who loves you
and it's getting harder
to lie.

II.
Maybe people
love me now.

III.
Imagine that -
at least,
I used to have to.

I.
She breathes in sunlight
every morning,
and exhales upon the clouds
that surround my head.

II.
Hair twined in flowers
and lungs full of summer air,
she's a vision
without a care.

I.
I dreamed someone
hurt you
and I was too far
to stand in the way
or take the blow instead.

I.
Crying is nearly
impossible
and I don't know why.

II.
It's like there's
a stone wall in my chest
and I can't break it
alone.

I.
We traipsed into the cathedral
and found her lying on the floor.
They made the service public,
had forgot to slam the door.

II.
If you could have caught her up,
took her hands, you would.
But you're another sinner,
turn away and turn your hood.

III.
You wanted her stiff form
in a starched and ironed dress.
You yelled, you screamed,
and you did not digress.

IV.
Injustice is a girl
who is buried in a suit.

I.
He's asked me to tell him
that I am worth it
every day.

II.
A little bit of me
thinks it's very silly,
and it won't do a thing,
but
simply knowing he
cares enough to keep me doing it
means it's
at least a little true.

III.
I'm worth
something
to him.