I.
Not yet,
am I seventeen.

II.
When I was five or six
I imagined a world in which
my first kiss was on my sixteenth birthday
and I was wearing a pink dress.

III.
I had my first kiss when I was fourteen,
in plaid pajama bottoms
and a loose top.

IV.
When I was seven or eight
I imagined a world in which
I was a vet tech
with my hair in a bun.

V.
I am in a world
where vet school
is not interesting.

VI.
My hair
will never be long enough
for a bun.

VII.
"Be the person you needed
when you were younger"
I would have balked,
and disagreed,
I know.

VIII.
If I could see a picture of me now
when I was little
I would laugh
and never believe a word about
how I hated my *******
my hips
my voice.

IX.
I would have never believed a word of how
I'd fall in love with a girl
who was sad as night
and made me as happy
as the sun.

X.
And I never would have believed
that I would love that little girl
who had grown into a man.

I.
There has come a point
in which
it is not who I would die for

II.
It is
who I would keep living for.

I.
You know
some days
I am that person
gasping
begging
pleading

II.
And others
I am the one
to hold them tight
and say
"Stuff is going to be okay."

I.
You know,
it shouldn't make me cry with joy
simply to see someone
like me
on the television.

I.
Honestly
if someone called me '****'
I'd only be mad
it wasn't
'******'

I.
Simply because I am your blood
does not mean
I am of your ideas
thoughts
and feelings.

II.
I am told every day
that you know what's best for me.

III.
But if it's best for me
why do I never feel
happy,
safe,
it's always just
scared and mostly
alone.

I.
My story is about a boy
and a girl.

II.
Not what you're thinking,
though.

III.
She was unhappy and now he is confident.

IV.
She is gone
and now he's glad to have the bed to himself.

V.
She is
his former self.