I.
It is beginning
to be whispered now.

II.
"She's sick,"
and indeed
they're right.

III.
Spilling it
like spilled coffee
the world's most used
psychoactive
they all scatter in awkward
worry
for safety of someone
they care nothing for.

IV.
Do they really believe
that I am
a different human being
then I have been for two years
now you know I'm sick

V.
Because I am ill
because I cannot eat sometimes
and others cannot stop
because my body cannot get enough food
it doesn't know how to process half the things
I put in.

VI.
Because I am ill
because I cannot sleep sometimes
and others cannot stop
because my body cannot get enough rest
it doesn't know how to shut off the thoughts
and sink.

VII.
I get asked
"Do you have an eating disorder?"
because I am so skinny
there is nothing to me
I am not more then
Ninety-eight pounds on a good day
I have never been
one hundred.

VIII.
No.
I do not
have an eating disorder.

I.
You are as though
the night had seeped into a bag
and someone had sealed it off.

II.
You are a trap -
you are trapped.
Your mother closed up the doors to
opportunity
and shut you down
and you told me
"It was better
when she
drank."

III.
You do not want
to be anything anymore
except for
to be
away from
home.

IV.
Drive them away with a sword
built of words.

V.
If only they listened
you would.

I.
It's been
raining

II.
For someone
with so many painful muscles
painful bones

III.
I know it's
too cold outside for me

IV.
Where does a butterfly go when it snows?
If I were the butterfly
would my wings be broken?

V.
Keep quiet
little love

VI.
Am I
anything more then the trees
am I anything less
they take the rain and grow
and I shatter
at the slightest touch

VII.
A butterflies wings
are ruined
and though she sips the water from the stream
she is nothing
in the rain

I.
The three of them
they were all laughter

II.
There were two
one was me
another was her
and the third
the third was him

III.
As if no one loved her
as if no one was crazy about her
as if no one thought she was beautiful

IV.
As if he wasn't important
as if his life had no meaning
as if his life didn't have any reasoning

V.
As if
as if I'd keep them forever
couldn't have both
didn't seem allowed, did it.

I.
There is
A speck of dust on her lashes
How enchanted and delighted
I imagine it must be

II.
There are
Emotions tearing her up inside
How guilt ridden and unsure they must be
To have hurt something
Like the dawn of springtime

III.
Were she
To sit beside a flower
I am sure it would melt in shame
For never having been beautiful

IV.
Tackled countless times
Tricked by her own mind
She is more likely to believe
In a world where she is afraid
Then one where she can stand

V.
A slippery *****
She is
But one that catches you
At the bottom