As far as I can think back
Sadness is all I've known
It's almost what I like
It's almost comforting

It makes me smile when I see my friends happy.
But how come I can never be happy myself?
Always getting picked on for keeping my head low.
But maybe I just have bad posture?
Maybe the reason my eyes are always to the ground, is because over time I've built up such a great deal of self hatred that I can't even take it anymore.
Its like every time I try to do something right or fit in with my friends they put me down for being exactly like them.
Everything about me is wrong.
I want to be okay.
And even tho I don't believe in anything beyond this life.
I sometimes think be better than this constant depression.

You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.
So I go up to you and say hi and become friends.
Friends.
Friends.
I wish I could just tell you I love you.
But I won't be able to take it if you don't feel the same.
My dad just recently told me he got a job and we're moving.
Far away.
I love you.
I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
I tell her.
SHE FEELS THE SAME.
We kiss and it's wonderful.
But I remember.
I'm going to miss you I say.
I will miss you too she says.
We kiss.
We say goodbye.
Tears roll down her cheek.
I whipe them away with my thumb and say.
I love you.
And everyone else around you loves you.
It will be okay.
she looks at me and smiles.
Her smile.
I get in the car.
We start rolling away.
I'll never see her again.
I love her.

Tell me all the things I don't want to hear.
Does that make you happy?
I'd do anything for you.
And you know it too.
you'll take advantage of me every change you get.
But it's fine.
Because I love you.
And even tho you don't love me.
I'm forever grateful you're in my life.

Look at me
I'm so selfish
I'm so self obsessive
I think I'm so cool but I have so many flaws
Sometime I look from the outside
And I hate what I see
Look at me