An unknown glare stares back at me
A slightly maniacal, almost evil thing
holding a bottle
Unknown
in the other hand a book and a pen
Her eyes like daggers her body mangled inhuman and pale
I stand there worried for her yet unable to move
Trying to yell but nothing comes out

I look down seeing the pills and drinks around me
The knife on my bed and the blood soaked sheets
As I slowly lose control of my surroundings
I finally scream
drowned out by the world as I lose consciousness
The clock on the wall slows to an almost unfamiliar and daunting sound...

Tick ...

Tock...

Tick...

There’s a warmth
A calming feeling rushing over me
Finally I’m at peace, no one is here
It’s just me

I finally feel someone pulling me out
A cold shock,
then a warm hug,
a comforting hug
A calming voice
A voice bringing to light a waterfall of emotions
Cascading down my body ; I look up
To realize the monster in the mirror was me

You are told this on the swings during recess by your first love after being given an innocent flower
You are told this before you go to bed by the people who comfort you with a warm hug and wish you sweet dreams, their love washing over you warm and calming
you are told this by your best friend who you swear is your sibling after singing and dancing all night, time seeming to have halted
You are told this before your first game, nerves like butterflies tickling your insides and excitement making you want to pounce out of your skin
You are told this when you make a mistake and doubt yourself, shame slowly leaving your body as it lights up the future and possibilities seem endless
You are told this when he hurts you, because he knows it will make it feel better
instilling that doubtful reassurance in your head
You are told this when you are told not to see your friends and you listen because its real and he knows best
you are told this after he hurts you and you threaten to leave because he means it and you couldn't be okay without him
you are told this time and time again because the last time he hurt you was the last
You are told this when you finally break free and you cry on their shoulder because you finally had the courage to leave knowing you deserve and are worth more
"I love you" you finally say to yourself, realizing no matter what has happened
You are beautiful, You are Alive, and You are deserving of LOVE

Loud music dancing like no one is watching
raindrops splattering around us as if cheering us in finally one with nature
lazy nights fighting sleep having deep conversations about the meaning of life
Lofi playing in the background as if in a movie
finally opening the safe to my heart and trust I've kept locked away deep in myself
being myself finally letting my hair down shedding my skin becoming me
cheesy fries and juke boxes
scary movies comparing those seemingly scary demons with the real life ones we face that are all too real
confessing my darkest secrets and being loved no matter what I've done or say
my safe space
my home
my soulmate