I don’t want to feel. I press into you knowing the world will fade into darkness. Into a world unexplored and ferocious.

I feel you in the deepest part of my body. As I squirm with fear of how this will all make me feel at the end, how it could ruin me.

As I squirm with pleasure, as you turn my body into your own. Deeper and deeper this goes, and I’m spiraling out of control.

In your arms I feel alive, complicated, and unpredictable. I breathe you in, take you inside of me, exhaling the weight of it all.

I don’t want to feel, yet I’ve never felt so much,  so fast. My soul is somehow infatuated with you, burning with curiosity, blinded by desire. My head is fighting you off, like a virus infecting my body.

Your taste lingers on my lips, and my soul cries out for  you. I keep asking myself, why? Why am I captivated by your eyes, why do I crave the softness of lips pressed against my own?

You’re nothing more than a mirage, a person I created in my mind. You infest my mind, the impression of your touch is left on my body.

I close my eyes and Your strong arms are wrapped around me, I feel small and protected in a way that is foreign. I ache for you, when I lay down to dream, and when I open my eyes to a new day.

I’ve been a fool for you and now I think I’m just a fool. Lost in the intoxicated feeling of a fantasy, a life that doesn’t really exist. A feeling that burns fast and burns out even faster. Foolish, foolish girl I am.

They say time heals, yet the people left behind still feel the burden of the emptiness, no matter the time. Memories scorch us like the fire blazing sun engulfs the world.

  The days grow shorter yet the nights are still long. Laying there dreaming about what was, what could have been, for a life so misguided,     My heart aches, a home sick feeling consumes me, I miss the days when things were simple, life was a straight road, filled with blissful summer days and cool crips nights.

Sitting side by side, appreciating the silence that Now haunts me. Companionship that was always satisfying, reliable, and no matter the time in between, always a constant. A piece of my heart will always be broken, sadden by the lost of your life.

Life is made up of a series of events. The positive ones shape you to be everything you desired and keeps you striving for more.

The horrific events break you down and discard of what remains of you. Tearing through your life like a tornado, showing no mercy for you physically, mentally or Emotionally.

What your left with at the end of the day is someone you barely recognize. you feel less than human; almost as if you have died and your spirit is still roaming the earth, lost, searching for what once made you human and whole.

It's cold, dark and dead out in this fall air.
The trees bare no leaves, the sky is scorched with darkness and my heart is left in a puddle of rain, as im continuously pelted by the partially frozen drops that fall from the nights sky.
I am alone with this pain that consumes my mind, body and soul, left with this emptiness that her life once filled.
Afraid of the emotions that run through me in each day I rise from my bed that I barely creep out of in fear of each long day ahead of me.
I cry, silently inside, since my life must go on as it has always gone on. Having to be strong when I'd rather be weak, having to push through as each day turns into weeks and almost a month has gone by.
I cry, into her sweater that still lays upon her unmade bed that I can't bring myself to make. Or take away the room that housed her body every day for the last 11 months.