For I now can't swim on a waves that are heavy some days and soft on others..
For this intense wave I stayed with kept me wondering what tomorrow would bring  
Somehow always hoping it'd be a different wave
One that will keep me elevated and not frustrated
Though as the days and months would pass the more I was invested with an endless quest
As cold as the ocean breeze was I stayed put because it was a familiar place
My heart was determined and would not allow me to give up in search for what I wanted
I soon began to think I was the problem for not receiving consistency
I then changed my techniques
And was still not remotely enough
Yet when these uplifting waves returned they would awaken a side of me that had sworn to be done and tired of waiting
All that left my mind knowing I'd be content with the time being
Even after knowing exactly how it would end
I then soon began to ask myself is this something I should have to go through? Knowing the exact type of energy that I would need to keep me out off jeopardy.
Letting go of the hope and thoughts that swam through my mind and body soon began to feel heavenly
No more sleepless nights that consisted of trying to find new ways to bring back those gracious waves towards me
Instead that energy went towards accepting the fact that those waves were just simply not for me..
Regardless of the outcome being elevated by this everlasting wave will be one that will be instilled in me for as long as I continue to be intuned with myself..
for this wave I found a purpose
Sometimes you can't swim on the same wave forever
It's always best to swim away to find better tides
To find something so deep that even the ocean would be jealous.

Sweet lips like honey
keep the skies above me so sunny
positivity surrounding me in all accepts in life
feed me your creativity
infatuated by your touch
I might be fixated by the grip of your finger tips as they gravitate towards my skin
feels so good so I know for a fact this is fate
this new love is the love everyone deserves to endure
this love tells me I’m beautiful every single day
this love is not perfect, but this love gives me hope
this love writes poetry about me
this love keeps me uplifted
for this love, I feel appreciated

At times I feel powerful and hopeful
yet other times life has me feeling confused and dreadful
i could do everything in my power to stay resiliant
yet a weary feeling stays levitating around me
i can not stay consistent no matter how hard i try
sometimes i would rather be incoherent then to feel this way
to drown out all these heavy feelings and thoughts that continue to linger
at least then i could just let it be and not fight the drought
but drown in my sorrows and float in my problems that only exist in my brain
i don't believe my fulfillment lays in the clouds
i deserve to be here
i deserve to be happy
i deserve to be loved
sometimes... a break is all i want
enough time to catch my breath
sometimes, just sometimes

the day of utter love
the day to give your absolute all
i suppose that is enough?
if i'm being modest
there's not nearly enough importance
to be love and give love everyday
not just today
if you cannot stay consistent
keep the love you hinder through out the year away
no need for confusion to float in the air...