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Chelsea Spahr Apr 2014
It eats me alive from the inside out.
Every day, every hour, every minute, every second.
The thoughts that enter my mind are intense.
Paranoid thoughts, seeing faces I wish I never had to see.
Anxiety eats me alive.
Nothing I do can stop it.
Anxiety is poison to the mind.
Chelsea Spahr Mar 2014
What you did to me will forever have an effect.
The marks you left were not what should have been.

The pain you caused me, the sleepless nights,
the thoughts of suicide, the endless nightmares.

But I refuse to give up, to let you feel like you have won.
I will not give up on myself no matter how hard it gets.

I refuse to let you see me fall apart.
You no longer have the power.

This journey of recovery may be hard, but I will never fall.
I've come this far and will only go further.

I'm no longer broken.
Chelsea Spahr Mar 2014
My guardian angel, not a day goes by that I don't think of you,
Not a day goes by that I don't miss you.
My heart is heavy and aching with pain knowing you will never return.
Who knew these past 9 months would be so difficult, full of sadness.
For you, I would do anything to bring you back, to form more memories,
To have you here for as long as possible.
My guardian angel, please never stop looking over me for I am doing my best to make you proud.
I love you, this family isn't the same without you.
Please never forget me.
Chelsea Spahr Apr 2014
Never judge a book by it's cover.
Never judge a person before you really know them,
because not everything is always what it seems.
Chelsea Spahr Mar 2014
Life is all but a beautiful nightmare.
We're all struggling to stay alive, trying to make sense of this world we live in.
So much hate, so much judgement, why can't we all get along?
Certain ways people should look,
Certain weight to be considered beautiful.
This life full of terrible thoughts, self hate, hatred amongst others,
All  just to feel accepted.
Chelsea Spahr May 2014
You are a waste of space, a *******.
You will never have control of me again.
You will never hurt me again.

You aren't **** and you never will be.
You are nothing.
You will never amount to anything.
You will suffer the way you made me.
You will end up with nothing and have nothing.

Karma is a *****.
I apologize for my rant, pain does that sometimes.
Chelsea Spahr Aug 2014
Silly me for thinking you were worth it,
For thinking I even had a chance.
Silly me for thinking you were different from the rest.

Never again will I fall for such a joke.
Chelsea Spahr May 2014
Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something.
You are your own person with your own ambitions.
You are in charge.

Never let someone tell you that you won't make it in the real world
just because you chose to not go to college.

Never let someone tell you that you are throwing your life away.

You can do anything you put your mind to.
You will become successful.
Chelsea Spahr Apr 2014
"God saw that you were getting tired, and a cure was not to be,
So he put his arms around you and whispered, "Come to me".
With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away.
Although we love you dearly, we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best."
Rest in peace my guardian angel. The struggle is over and it's been almost a year since you left us. Each day seems to just get harder and harder but I know you're watching over me. I love you Aunt Gretchen. Forever and always
Chelsea Spahr Apr 2014
Two years ago today, you asked the big question, I answered yes.
Two years ago today, you became apart of me that I could not live without.
Two years ago today, you helped me become a stronger person and face my demons.
Two years ago today, I'm still with you and couldn't be more proud to not only call you my best friend but my other half.

— The End —