The timer rings and the birds shoot from the barren treetops.
Abandoning of the little hope that was kindled inside of me.
Sync our heart beats and wipe away the fog of us.
Flick off the nights I would stay perched on my bed.
Enclosed in your arms for the first time
but feeling emptier than when I was solitary.
Keep talking... Make me laugh..
Make my hate and longing for you wash away.
Try to patch up my mind and soul and scratched body.

Rebuild your tracks, but not retrace as the solo idea takes flight.  They're just words kid, string 'em together and see what you find.  Stuffed behind records and splattered on parchment. They make history out of these things girl,  you just ****** a stick, dab some mud and tattoo your unscathed hands. Like all these words make the greatest neighbor hood. You can see the stage from way out in outer space.

I was loosing time
The days were becoming not only shorter
But dimmer, darker, duller...
I realized that I've given every single shirt off my back for people
And I'm not saying I regret doing it,
I just need to take a breather
Make some smarter decisions.
Maybe start listening and learn something in class..

Give me one more shirt
Even if it's only a freaking thread
And I'll prove everything I've got
That I won't donate it to someone
I'll treasure it until the angels call for me

Call me Echo
Cause even though my parents abandoned me
I want to live on where I came from
Go by my rightful calling
Show to the world that I've got things left to keep

For myself,
The world I'm glued in is tearing me to shreds
Now it's 12:00am
My eyes are dried up from all the crying I've done
Nohing left to dig out from the depths

My soul is shallow now...
You can finally see to the bottom
And all my blockades burst into pieces
Flung a million miles from here
Never to be glued back together

I can change the outcome
Moving from here on out
To be a stronger individual
Who listens to see if they're still breathing

The heavy showers of rain
Bare down on my frame
Like that night in a ratty old blanket in the street
But I promise you I'll keep that thread you gave to me
And it'll be embedded into my skin
For no one to use but me
If however..
You give me one more try at this little thing called survival

Shuffling feet on the floor below you
They've left the world you're in
And crossed to the world under yours

Where life and light
Are colored more brilliantly
No washed out blotches
Or faded shreds of a person's soul

You're limitless in the under world
Because you leave you're body
Only to become someone you never thought possible
I envision us laying up on a mountain top
Because I feel like I'm on the Summit of Everest
Cause' I cant breathe
Because my lungs are filled with Success
And it's all thanks to you and your love

I never thought the underworld would make me feel so alive
You're invincible in the under world

Disguised in empty words,
Well written verses better left unspoken
I wish I could fake as well as you always did

Slaved over by determined friends
Who can't undo the past
And make all my wrongs right

As we own this night,
We were out of control.
Please won't you push me for the last time
Let's scream until there's nothing left
I'm so sick of playing,
I don't want this anymore.

But you want my eyes to continue to see
And my hands to carry on feeling
You want it more then I ever have
You push me to the light
But I don't want to see it.
I just shut my eyes

And I'm going crazy,
Mom and Dad,
Did you search for me?
When all I could see was suicide road?

With heaven above you,
There's Hell over me
The world I'm looking at is a wasteland
And it's my only retreat to expectations

Float away from fantasies
****** and sunken
That's all that's running through my head

As the sun went down,
I crashed to the ground,
I heard the train shake the window
You screamed over the sound

But all I could see is this wasteland called Earth
And I was seeing suicide road again
I'm out of control,
As the school day tumbles on..

I'm fine.. I just had this idea in my head and wanted to write it out!
What do you guys think?

I broke down
My eyes burned with un shed but necessary tears
He just sat there and looked at me
While I choked and stared out the window

He asked me if I was okay
And I said I'll make it through
He told me he didn't believe me
And when I tried to tell him I was fine..
My voice broke and I started to shake..

All  wanted to do was go to the bank of the river,
Maybe curl up under my bed sheets
And cry about it all

So I'm weak and fragile at the sound of a few words
We are all weak and fragile no matter how many times we say we're strong and a fighter
Because we're only as strong as our weakest attribute

But I stayed there in that chair,
Looking him in the eyes
Trying to swallow already breathed air
Choking on the words he was saying to me

I couldn't break down
Not with people walking by the glass window..
But I'm going to be leaving everything behind me
Everything I've ever loved and known
Not one thing will be what I was used to

And I can withstand the strongest winds
And I can endure the hottest flames
But losing my home
Having the world plop right on top of you

Knocks the wind out and suddenly,
I no longer have anything to withstand
Kind of like an old record in the record book
Claimed and prized for a little bit
And then thrown into the back of the pile

The clock was still ticking
And his mouth was still moving
But I was stuck in a little glass bottle
Set to sail the ocean alone and aimlessly
But I bobbed and dived from each oncoming wave
Only to wash ashore on an island called expectations

And I shouldn't be here..
On this island..
But I am.. And nothing will get me to go out into the vast and somehow empty ocean of my path
Everything is on me now
As I sat, paralyzed and lifeless
In that chair, looking at his eyes
In his office,
The Principal's Office

Tomorrow might be too late
Silence not to be broken
Bonding in a way
Nothing could quite describe it

Carry it
Hold it
Cherish it
Hug it

Each day
Each class
Each moment

Until you, yourself
Have been silenced

But even after that,
You're heart continues to carry out the beat of the drum

And you're voice will continue to ring through the streets and cities
Some days it'll be almost too quiet to hear
Others it'll ring louder then the city bells

But you're heart will carry out the beat

Sleeping is my safe haven
Not for the reasons you may think though
Daylight rots me from the outside, in
All the chaos is subdued for a while

Sleep is now my oasis
Not for the reasons you may think though
Dreams revive me from the inside, out
All my worries are washed away

Sleeping is my safe haven
Not for the reasons you may think though
I get to be free,
Get to just be unneeded
Not forced to respond to anything

I'm allowed to be a kid,
Something I haven't been
For quite some time
And I realize how much I miss it

Sleep is my oasis
I just lay down
And all the horns and bells go mute and I listen to the crickets
And I can just be gone from the nightmare in which I live in and call my life

If tomorrow you find that I'm gone,
Will you guys begin to understand
How weak and isolated I ended up being?
Or will you figure I'm off at school..

If tomorrow I don't wake up
Will you start to comprehend
How long I've been attempting to never take a breath again?
Or will you gape at the mess on my bed..

If tomorrow was my final day
And you knew it
Would you try to make me smile?
Or would you continue on acting like I'm invisible..

If tomorrow I don't come home,
If tomorrow I never open my bed room door
If tomorrow I took my last breath..

Do you think you did your job?

There's  nothing to do
Except sulk and want to curl up in a corner,
Be taken away by police and put in a tent undercover from the endless rain

Be whisked away by the slightest of wind,
Transfigured into a scarce leaf that's fallen
Or be a smashed little pine needle
Glued to the street in the gloom

There's nothing to do
But sit and wait for the house in which all my memories are stored to be
Dragged and scraped from between our hands

I've got no light...
No firefly to illuminate the mud road
Just run from the gloom
Try to evade it
No point except to burn up my fuel

Nothing to recharge me or give me a boost out of this thousand foot  trench
It fills with icy ocean water
Brought from the sea filled with broken promises and dreams
I'm chained to the holding tank

And there ain't a thing to do
Except surrender and drown

I'm just lagging behind
in happiness and love
bout ready to hoist my white flag
let depression and gloom win this time
and be forever victorious
let me sink into the soil
or sprinkle me into the nearest water source

just let me sip away into the forgotten category
please
i beg of you

Needing to let everything drip off of me
At ends with my parents
Still battling my brother
He'll be gone in a few months
And every time I walk down the hall, I'll be reminded that he's a thousand miles away
Not ready for him to go..
What about my bro..I need him more then I ever have before...
I'll be drowning in the littlest of puddles and
I'll be soaring on the tiniest of breezes
I need you Sean..

Remember all those years..
Parents telling you about high school, and all that it holds
Teachers instructing you to work hard in preparation for high school
Friends joking and eagerly waiting for that time

All those years swim by
Parents quit talking
Teachers loosen their grip on our leash
The months add up now,
Parents have completely ignored us
Teachers take the reigns once more
Friends cling to your sides

We're only 7 months from walking through the front doors,
Nobody can tell us what to expect
Because we've made it
We're already here
And when we thought we were ready,
Boy, some of us wish to be trapped back in Mr. Davis' classroom
Or chained to the table in the commons for lunch detention

Our whole entire lives are out on a tight rope,
Cross to the other side, with a couple of close calls?
Or will we tip over and crash from the high?
Just a few more months.. Couple more class periods
And the feeling of safety and reassurance vanishes
Ready or not..
Here we come.

Going from a booster seat in the restaurant,
To a wooden chair at the dinner table,
Then to a back seat in the family car
Now you've made front seat
But you beg to be back in that booster seat, with a bib and a goofy  toothless smile

The numbing light dims to black,
Car lights replace the dark and you tremble.
Like rose petals in the wind,
You waver and eventually collapse to the pavement.
The pavement is your destiny and future though.

Crates too massive to lift surround you like a canyon,
Vanishing those blazing car lights from your eyes
You take in everything like a breath of icy air,
Brief and crucial.

The hollow note echoes to stillness,
Infectious beats take their place and you sway.
Like a cottontail in the summer breeze,
You lean from side to side, finally standing tall.
And the standing transforms into your grip on life

Ships swerve towards you like starving crocodile,
Blocking out that deep bass.
You tread carefully like a waterlily a top a pond,
Almost  imaginary but real at the same time.

Your bones rattle around inside your thinning skin,
The light shocks and shakes you
And the car lights reappear, taking center stage
Like the moon in the sky..
You shiver and spin around,
All that you see is your future.

The scuff of sneakers, boots and flats form the solid and stable beat.
Add in the chuckles, silences and brief interruptions to create the varying and rhythm.
All that remains is what goes unsaid but is speeding around in your mind.

That man from Uzbekistan,
He was telling us how peace and non-violence starts with us,
With middle-schools, with teens, with future leaders
To all those who laugh, when I say violence is never the answer,
You're the ones I worry about

That man from Uzbekistan,
He was speaking to us about how the kids had a parliament in Uzbekistan
Those kids had  a say in what their fate would be

Believe it or not,
But adults are not the only things to make up our society...
Infants, toddlers, 5th graders, 8th graders, 11th graders, seniors, the diseases make up us, us..

So maybe parents shelter us too much, or not at all.
And kids throw fits in the grocery store
While teenagers attempt to jump off the nearest bridge
This is our society..
But we're like those kids in Uzbekistan
We have a say in what our fate will be

That man from Uzbekistan,
He was sharing out how blessed he was to be living here in the United States
Even though he could live in a much more peaceful and welcoming society.

I have no idea how many years i will be,
Or what has to happen before we get the message across..
That's what's played out isn't acceptable

The American people,
Were baffled, devastated, overwhelmed
That all those stereotypes really were mixed within us.
Obama stood up in that room
With a shaky camera man, staring while he slumped and grieved
He addressed our nation,
Homeland,
Country
Community
Family
About Newtown,
Clackamas Town Center

No leader should ever be forced to speak about children dying long before there time was up

Or about average people ducking and diving from bullets

Gun Control is only a little layer
And that's the start of our restoration to end up being a peaceful, safe country
It begins with how youth are shown how to solve problems.

I'm willing to reach my hand out to every single state in this country
And if that means devoting everything I've got to making our restoration successful,
Then so be it..

No leader or person should be raising candles to the sky for little kids to see that they are missed.
And I took all of this in at a Lebanese Luncheon

Lost everything I had,
Put it all on the line for you
Willing to give you my life
Now I'm empty,
But somehow I still have things to give to you
Like friendship and funny stories
Like trust and hugs
Like hope and promises
Like love and anything else I've got

Everything swam out of reach
Put it all on the line for you
Now I'm vacant
Of feeling and expressions
But I somehow have plenty left to give you

My clock is ticking away
Faster then anyone else's
Somehow, I just know

That I'll get a tombstone
Or my own wooden coffin
Way before anyone I know will

And I need you Natalie,
More then I thought I ever had before
More then I thought I would

I'll probably be gone
Before my parents
And I think it's supposed to play out like that

I'm still breathing
Although my lungs are starting to drown
Would you let me sink?

I've needed you Nat,
Even before I knew who you were
More then someone could ever need someone else before
More then I thought I would ever need you

Because Natalie,
You're my life support

It's a world,
That's kept me fighting
Fighting for you

It's a world,
That's knocked me off my feet
Feet that I thought were rooted to the ground

It's a world,
That's stolen my trust
Trust someone will come
And pick me up
Or dust me off

And I may be wasting my time
Chasing after you...
But I'll waste every single day of my life
Chasing after you...

Some will see me wasting my days
And call me a fool
Others will watch me chase after you
And push me towards my goal

I'll spend time wondering...
Wondering if what we could be is even possible
Or if it really is a never-ending road

As the waves rise,
I beg for the clouds to quit dragging by above me..
And for the ball of light to become visible
The clouds would float away,
The sun to rise and fall...

Natalie T ='s

My hope
My laugh
My smile
My shoulder to lean on
My hand to latch onto
My voice
My eyes
My heart
My savior
My love
My compass
My everything good in this world

Don't want to turn the light on..
Happy is something I'll never be
Love despises my life
For it runs farther away whenever I come close

You were the only color in  my colorless eyes
And the eagle in which flew in my sky
But now the colors are invisible
And the eagle no longer takes to the sky for me to watch

But the hurricane swallows me whole

Now that last little hope has left
My insides more frozen the ice
I begin to drift off
To float to my paradise

There's a sun
And clouds
But the sun is you
Staying and then vanishing
And I can't feel the warmth
All I feel is that chilly breeze
I'm alone though, and in my oasis
Until I open my eyes

I'm UN locking my doors,
I'm UN latching my chains
To let you see a glimpse of my world
I'm on a collision course
Only made for tears and unanswered prayers
You could save my world
Keep it from turning to ash

And if you didn't save it
I'd create a new world
Replicating the first
Steering myself towards destruction

Praying that I could see you
And your world
Know if I,
I could save your world
Keep it from rotting and turning to ash like mine
And keep the skies clear for you
Only able to save it if you allowed me to

I think you're the reason why:
Why I have insomnia,
Why I lay awake through the night, restless and disappointed
Why I fall asleep to lies and impossibilities
Why I wake up in the morning and swear at my reflection

I also believe that you're the reason why:
Why I have a heart
Why I breathe air and blink
Why I trip over that air in the hallways
Why I smile, trying to reassure myself that we never would end up together

My body is rusted,
Taped, but the tape has lost it's stick
Glued, but it peels more off me off then ever before
Stapled, but they bend off
Burned, but the burn marks tear away
Stitched, and they rip from my body


But maybe you'd be my sticky tape
And my super glue
Along with my strong stapes
You'd be my indestructible staples and stitches

And so I burn you,
With my heart, my matchstick
Stuff you into a lantern
Raise you into the navy sky

So that my sister,
She can smile without you trying to drag,
Trying to drag her smile into a frown
And so that my sister
Is able to walk around with you gone
So she can walk without a shadow

I'll drag all the smiles in this ****** planet
Just so you could smile
I'll sleigh all your demons
Just so you could laugh a little louder
I'll capture all the stars
Just so you could shine a little brighter

I love you,
Keep fighting
Because you don't have a white flag to plunge into the battle field

I** don't understand
Lost in what you're saying to me
Overcome by the whole idea of us walking hand in hand
Vow to forever be faithful to you
Enthralled by your smirk or grin

Your that girl who knows me only skin deep
Opening up to you like a blooming rose
Unloved or noticed by the Cinderella of my kingdom

Not giving up
At night, I reach my hand out towards you even though you aren't there
Tough to think that it's never going to happen
All I have eyes for is you
Lying alone in a cold, empty room
I wonder if I'm insane most hours of the day
Each day that passes before me, alerts me of the real world
         Because I don't have you
         To be my little firefly
         Or my crucial hand rail
         Instead, I've been abandoned to early
         To stumble in the dark
          And walk like a blind man

Thy is as sweet as a rose,
You stole my heart,
Unaware you are
So I've finally become brave
To tell you
That I've fallen for you
Out of desperation and hope maybe?
Or because of the way your lips smile and the way your eyes look

Barreling through the unknown
And strolling through all that's familiar
But I seem to stuck between the two

I know you, you're familiar
But yet it is unknown your reaction to my daunting question
I'm running to be saved
Because no one was running to save me

Charging through sorrow and disappointment,
And hurtling over people who refuse to let me break free
I seem to be finished charging

I like you, I'm crazy about you
But somehow I sense I'm on a one way street
Please, prove me wrong,
Prove to me that I haven't wasted 3 years on someone who is too bright for me

Laying on a hill, gazing at the constellations
And rolling to bump into you, someone special and one of a kind
I seem to hold onto you tight
And you latch on to me as well

I'm grinning and blushing,
Only no one can see me,
If only you could see me..
Outside the class room
Free from all the unwanted eyes staring at me
I wish I could feel your warmth
And maybe hear your gentle breathing
That I could reach over and rest my head on your rounded shoulder

Anything's possible if you really want it to be

Nat,
I've been trying to push you out of my heart
I've been fighting it,
For 3 years

Nat,
I've been crazy about you
Crazy in love
And it's 3 years now

Nat,
I've finally realized something,
The girls I called, "Mine",
Weren't the reason why:
Why my heart continued to beat,
My lungs kept filling with fresh air,
Or why I kept smiling...

You're the real, true reason as to why I'm here,
Typing these words and listening to the soft drizzle
Now, I'm ready to face you and tell you how I feel
What I've bottled up for 3 grades

I trust you,
With my heart,
With my life,
With everything.

Ever have those days of no light?
Where you want your name inscribed into a piece of stone?
Or wishing you could be that weeping willow that's draping the hill side?

Both seen and unique
Voices from above recall the day you earned your name on that stone
Fingers from all decades retrace marks in your bark from when they were weeping by that willow

Both monumental and irreplaceable
Days roll by
A lone crow calls into the thunderous clouds
Rose petals paddle on the breeze

Mud trickles down your roots,
Slips into the etched name that you were born with on that pristine piece of stone
No one will ever make sense of it all
Because no one will ever crave to have a stone like yours
And no one will ever weep by that willow
Or hear that call from the lone crow
Or watch the petals float along in the breeze

The calendar will mark
That day
When the angels call you
And you don't come

The watch on my wrist will show
That hour
When the angels come for you
And you begin to run the other way

The angels, all dressed in white
Will steal you
They will raise you up into the thunderous, sorrowing clouds

And you no longer live in a world that's
Lit by the Shadows in the Night

And maybe I'm shooting for  the stars
With a girl as bright as you
And maybe I'm reaching for a hand that's not there
But I won't ever turn away

I'm running from the weeping willow
It's draping the hill side
And maybe I'm jumping from cliff to cliff
Willing to fall flat on my face for you  (literally)

The world is blind
Only a few are able to see
To be the light in a planet lit by night                              

Maybe we could make things work,
Never gonna know if you never even try

And maybe I'm shooting for the stars
With a girl as bright as you
And when I was sinking,
I saw your light off in the distance,
You lifted me to shore..

And maybe I'm reaching for  a hand that's not there
But I won't ever turn away
And when I was free-falling,
I felt your hand grab me,
Pulled me to the safe ground                                                                        

I'm running from the noose
Not going to be hanged by my old loves,
I'm jumping from limb to limb,
Willing to crash from way up high      

Maybe we should take a shot in this planet run by darkness
Never going to hit the target without  a shot

I know I'm reaching for the stars.
With a girl as bright as you...
How could I not be?

Just ******* one last kiss
I'll hold it close
As the road bends, my hands hug myself..

Just say you love me one last time
I'll hear it over and over in my head
As your face disappears behind a tree..

Just give me one last hug
I'll feel it every day
As your legs stop running after me..

Just hold me close one  last time
And tell me that you need me
And that I'm the one..
Just ******* one last kiss...

If you're bogged down right now listen to this song and read the lyrics:

Well I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain't no healing
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge

I'm telling you that
Its never that bad
Take it from someone whose been where you're at
Laid out on the floor
And your not sure
You can take this anymore

So just give it one more try
To a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And you can't tell
I'm scared as hell
Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

Please let me take you
Out of the darkness and into the light
Cause I have faith in you
That you're gonna make it through another night
Stop thinking about
The easy way out
There's no need to go and blow the candle out
Because you're not done
You're far too young
And the best is yet to come

So just give it one more try
To a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And you can't tell
I'm scared as hell
Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

Well everybody'***** the bottom
And everybody's been forgotten
When everybody's tired of being alone
Yeah everybody's been abandoned
And left a little empty handed
So if you're out there barely hanging on

Just give it one more try
To a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And you can't tell
I'm scared as hell
Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

Well honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

I look to the clock staring at me from the opposite wall
50 minutes left until 2013..
Time to start thinking of a resolution to try and conquer
Maybe hold onto a girl for more then a month
Or gain some pounds and build more muscle
I am nothing but a limp blob on my bed at this time of night
45 minutes until 2013...
Time to turn up the music and push through my drowsiness
Maybe.. Maybe I can stay strong this year and not have any medical issues
Or maybe pass Algebra I this year
I'll be going into high school in a matter of months
Uh-oh.. That woke me up into panic
Only 6 months until we get kicked out of our house...
Maybe my reslution will be to earn some money to help my parents keep us in a house
Or maybe I'll make my resolution be to help my dad find a better job so we don't have to get through by the skins of our teeth
Or maybe I'll climb Mt. Everest..
And that's my messed up resolution for 2013...
Come at me bro! I'm ready to put up a fight before I go down!
Look to the clock on my wrist
Only 30 minutes until 2013...

DJ turn it loud
DJ slow it down and go silent
DJ rev it up
DJ cool down a bit
I'm the DJ who drops the beats
The bass trembles in your tendons like a banjo string being played
And vibrates your collar bone like a cell phone in a theater
I'm the DJ who shoots arrows into hearts
The guitar solo swirls your vision like a sheet of fog
And pulses through your entire body like a defibrillator
I'm the DJ who ramps up the emotion
Sorrow courses through the crevices of your brain bringing you back to the world outside
Giddiness is wired through your toes and fingers and guides you away from worries
Anger pounds in your heart when that special pattern of drum beats and guitar chords remind you of your ex.
DJ turn it loud
DJ slow it down and go silent
DJ rev it up
DJ cool down a bit
I'm the DJ who drops the beats...

It seems that only I could write suicide provoking poems,
But now it seems I've gone the other way..
Maybe not on this site, not this profile,
But on school grounds, on my real and true profile..
It seems that only a moment of remembrance could spark emotion
But this girl is that moment of remembrance, only she's a day's sunshine
Maybe not twenty fours hours, not all days of the week
But just when I need to be dragged out of a ditch
It seems that only stupidity and sorrow could fuel me to pick up a pencil,
But now it seems I've got shoes and socks to get me to pick up a sharpie and scribble.

One slip of the tongue
The lights flick out
Stars don't rise.. The moon doesn't light the way
Locked in the closet... That's where you wish you were to be
But one slip of the tongue
The cute messages are thrown into the ocean of black and grey
E-mails don't appear... Voice-mails are nowhere to be heard
Stapled to your bed.. That's where you hope to be
It's as simple as one *slip of the tongue

The words you speak are here now
The words you write are here forever.
You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it.
When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.
You don't need armor, you've already got it. You just got to use your brain.
Einstein was a genius and you call yourself one too.
Innocence is limited....

During that bus ride to Zoo Lights
Something odd was going to happen
Not a voice crack
But a tragedy
That bus ride to Zoo Lights
Something significant would take place
Not tonight
But the day following
That bus ride to Zoo Lights
Something unexpected would unravel
Not life changing to us
But life changing to a hundred people across the country
That bus ride to Zoo Lights
Something incredible happened
Not to me...
But to a group of strangers

In place of white,
I dress in black.
All those letters to Santa
Take on a whole new meaning.
In place of bikes and robots,
The tree is filled with hearts and prayers.
All those cookies and glasses of milk
Take on a whole new legacy.
In place of a Santa Hat,
I dress in blood red.
All those Family Christmas Cards
Take on a whole new importance.
In place of soggy socks,
I wear my bare feet.
All those stockings
Take on a whole new significance.

The click and pound and beat
Will be the final thing that they hear
Not their moms saying have a good day
Or their dads squeezing them and saying I love you
The Christmas Tree delicately lit
Will be the candle to remember them by
And the ornaments that were delicately placed
Will be the bullets that were fired...
The classic winter wonderland
Will be altered this year
No longer happy and cheerful
Or up-beat and comforting
The shots ring through your ears
Will be all that you hear come Christmas Eve and Day
Not the hourly chimes of the town clock
Or the regular carolers
The Christmas Tree delicately lit
Will be the candles to remember them by

My hand snakes to your ever so inviting lap
I want to hide us under my new baseball cap
It's your first time
Trust me, it'll be quite a climb
You're too afraid to be unleashed so soon
Wanting to stay within your cocoon
I don't blame you darling,
Kids and adults will never quit snarling
Called a coward
Not by me but society's video tapes
My head rests on your shoulder
I hope it doesn't feel like a massive boulder
That's when I come to life
Cut loose like Pinocchio was with a knife
Yet still called a coward
Because we're hidden outside of shadows

Pick up a pen
Drop it a minute after
Clearing your mind through song
Failing to find the right lyrics
Create your own but you have to...
Pick up a pen
Dropping it from exhaustion
Cluttering your mind this time round from phrases
Until finally the right lyrics appear
You picked up that pen
And only dropped it to scribble out confusing letters and thoughts
Don't drop it
'Cause then you'll never be able to pick it up again

I'm trapped in this room
Only free when I'm at school
Feel like I'm unwanted and useless
Can't wait to get onto the bus
I evade all the yelling and scolding
Get called dumb and little
When I'm in the classroom though, I become a genius
They try to accept me
How I'm not like their first kid
Feel like I was energy and precious oxygen
Only able to move in one building from 9:15 to 3:50
I'm locked in a box
The key tossed into the nearby river, settling in the soot at the bottom

You turn into a punching bag
When you play tag
That's just how we play out here
You can only play if you have not one fear
Bruises lead to blood
Then all of a sudden it starts to flood
It's no longer a game, but a war
Anyone can join, including the poor
We'll stay up late
You've got a chance to change your family's fate
Just like The Hunger Games
Except you're not forced to put in your siblings names
You've gone from first to last
Just need to remember you past
Lined around the block
The crowd's watching as the clock goes *tick-tock, tick-tock

Mist swallows my body whole
Stretchers emerge
Marshlands have captured me
Slime covered my limbs were
Mission Possible no longer
Rain slams down on me
Like bullets in your back
Trees appear to spin
Rough turning to cushy beneath me
Ripples of grass from my tumble
Now through the woods I stumble
No longer awake
Laid to rest
Never witnessing the newest dawn
Living was a luxury...

They're trying to put me at bay
All because I act "gay"
Now look to the ground, yeah that's where I lay
You turned out my light
That's okay, what's the point in tryin' to fight?
Someone can take my place,
After all, I'm a wast of space
Slam me into lockers
You say you're training to be boxers
You don't bother to know my name
Automatically I must be lame
I can't just quit acting this way
The receipt grows longer, showing all the things I have had to pay
Every single day I'm alive,
You're all a bunch of bees, protecting your hive
Trying to get rid of the weak
I'm stronger than you guys, I'm at my best, at my peak
Yet you guys put me at bay
Just because I act "Gay"
So the next time you look at the ground,
Just remember that's where I lay
Not in peace...
When you're older you'll come back here and show your niece

I'm at a road block,
While the clock went tick-tock
This one here is a fighter
He sets fire, easy like a lighter
Grabbed hold of that metal tight,
Not letting go without a fight.
Heavy and heavin'
He lets go to start leavin'
His mind tortures him "Nothing but talk"
Now he's in a head lock
Knees bent, shoulder back
He's a fighter that's back in his groove and sharp as a tack
Bulldozer
He won't go into foreclosure
He never breaks his composure
He'll break through this barrier
Provin to them he ain't no longer a little terrier
But a bull... dozer
And this one here is nothing  but a **fighter

Trenches have been dug
I dug them and now I'm called nothing but a wretched ****
River banks have started to erode
Seeing my home town again, a mess, made me implode
*** holes have been filled
The tar were my emotions that were killed
I've been used,
Too many rentals before I crack.
Scratches spread,
Like butter on bread
Couples split
Their hearts turning to a dark, deep pit
Trenches have been dug
But to no prevail we loose life, loose light.
Tornadoes of another kind have come

Curse words have been shot my way
But I've always thought I'd make out just fine.
Just like any other kid.
People claim to need me,
Yet they are the ones who shoot the imaginary guns at me carelessly
I am not needed,
No, I am plotted somewhere  in the background.
Never coming to the foreground in any of the shooter's lives.
I'll be come famous one day
And then I will be holding the gun and aiming the words.
Curse words still ricochet in my lungs
Just come to remember that...
Hood is down,
Pants set low,
Shoes gripping  my ankles,
My fists cracked and ready to fight
Head is down,
Legs are bent,
Feet are grounded,
My fingers itching to meet bone
And through all of this, I will become famous

Each person to their own respected places
Admiral, Corporal, Private, Soldier, Wannabe
Each person battling their own individual war
Like him, tucked in bed, laying awake is his war.
While hers is equal to his.
Hers is words, they bounce off her. Making that her war.
A drop of milk sitting on the counter is his struggle.
And a ******* becomes her struggle.
Life...
It's composed of all these little wars.
Being taken down individually by the recognition of thousands
Trying to gain independence from chains.
Chip and crack a link every second of every day.
Numbers will always be their own war,
And racquets and ***** will be her war.
Focusing forms his never ending fight
And the same goes for speaking with her.
Each person to their own respected places
Admiral, Corporal, Private, Soldier, Wannabe
Breathing heavy just by walking turns to be his battle
To her, sticks and stones will be an uphill struggle.
But to each their own destination.
Coming To Be Victorious they shall all be.