i’m never the best with
words
and i’m too
brutally honest

but you’re the boy
that got me falling

and i’m the girl
who loved every

scrape and burn

cause for once
i wasn’t drowning;

just tumbling down
and maybe that’s the
beauty of it all

the way every way
of getting stuck
in this love
always seems
to be a deathly fall

or an ocean in which
you are planted
at
the deepest depths
and i guess i’m just

beginning to overthink
everything
again
but
you should know me

anyways now that
you know
my
every secret.

i’m a tragedy
i have doubts
numbered by the
billions
and i create
every fantasy in my head

until i’ve lived every
broken
and beautiful
non-existent moment.

i’ve got these voices
in my head;
not demons
don’t worry yourself

i’m not yet psychotic;

but the voice is my own

and i’m telling myself
everything i do
and don’t
ever want to hear
until
i get used to the feeling

of my own abandonment
i’m a girl who can write
you
into oceans
with starstruck skies

above the waves
but
i could also
turn you into
volcanoes erupting in my
uneasy mind
until you
become every thick layer
of doubt and disappointment

covering my mind as it
seeps through into my
veins
until it finally
becomes a vital
part of my
bloodstream
i’m not quite the
‘lover girl’ you’d expect
i don’t look for the love
in your ****** image

but in return
i break easily;

and i’ll crumble
at every corner and edge

to the simplest poke of
heartache
and theft
of my own care
i’m not the perfect
person i wish i could be;
nowhere near it.

i’ve loved before

and it only left me
with regret and grief
and now i’m built
to have disbelief
and darkened thoughts
i dream of everything
in the most poetic form

but that doesn’t mean
they’re always beautiful
i imagine a world in your ocean
eyes
and i’ll forget to
take care of my own;
i crave to be selfless
but there comes a point
in which my eyes will learn
to water themselves with
the wrecking instead
of water
and i don’t
think you’d like a girl
who can’t attend to
her own self-care
so run
run far
and say
your goodbyes
‘cause i forgot
to mention that
i’m a nightmare
and you’re just
the dream i
wish to
dream
i’m never the best with
words but i am
a catastrophe.